Living without Jewish Neighbors-ASAP response pls!!!!

amother

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:06 am

Basically DH and I have been considering moving OOT for a while, we like the community, they're warm and welcoming, housing prices are good etc... so thats worked out
Now the issue is that in this community houses get snapped up the day they are put on the market, you need to make decisions ASAP
So there's a house we saw that we love, it gorgeous, spacious, airy, good price, doesn't need a lot of work...
Problem is there are no jewish neighbors on the block, the closest family is a block away and there are another 3/4 family in a 6 block radius, the rest of the community lives atleast 10-15 min away
At this point we only have 1 baby so this is not for now but for the future I'm nervous for him to have friends to play with nearby and for my other kids, I have no way of knowing how the community will expand, if more families will live near me in the future or not
As well, I'm nervous about myself finding my place in the community, if I don't live near everyone I hope I'll get to know enough people and be able to be part of things, I don't want to have to rely on my one or two frum semi neighbors all the time
PLEASE Let me know what you think, if this is normal or doesn't make sense etc.... I need to give an answer ASAP!!!!

amother

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:11 am

The community is definetly growing I just have no way of knowing if they will come to that end, most of the people buying now are buying abt 10-15 min away
I want to know how people manage and cope without frum neighbors? Input please

amother

Beige

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:13 am

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

If it’s a community that is growing ppl will eventually move onto your block.

Totally agree, but it's still a gamble bc you dont know what type of community it's going to turn in to

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:20 am

I don't have frum neighbors on my block. We bought the house because it was big and cheap and we needed to buy something fast because I had a job offer that wasn't going to wait. (Rentals are hard to find if you have a big family.)

After I moved I realized that we had bought "on the wrong side" and not only were there no frum neighbors but the property value isn't likely to go up much. The houses on the more frum side are being snatched up and prices going up like crazy.

do I regret? It is what it is. Hashgachah protis. My kids manage without running to play with friends down the block. The older kids walk the 10 minutes on Shabbos. When we lived in NY we lived on a commercial block on top of a business so it's not like they had a lot of friends on the block to play with either. Also we have a big house at an affordable price. I can't complain.

finprof

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:21 am

We've always lived OOT and never had Jewish neighbors even though we have always lived within the eruv. As long as you can walk to Shul and the "Shabbos park" your good to go! We are friendly with the neighbors (I.e. chat when we see them outside). Our kids (2-8) play outside with the neighborhood kids. There are some questions about food and dress but so what? That's life! For reference, we are MO (I cover my hair and don't wear pants) and we both work in secular environments.

amother

Tan

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:22 am

I wouldn’t do it, I have frum neighbors and I still wish I had prioritized a block with more frum kids so my kids wouldn’t have to cross streets to have play mates.
Don’t buy expecting people to move. When I moved in my neighbors told me I was the first frum family to move onto the block since they moved 14 years prior.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:25 am

This is so dependent on you and your husband and kids personality type and preferences. It’s hard for you to really know that in your stage of life .

For my familY, which is very social and friendly but prioritizes privacy, this would be absolutely ideal. The kids still have friends around, but you can sit in your yard with your kids without neighbors needing to join in, to your family bbq or sprinkler or whatever else. Homes should be private imo- excepting for hachnasas Orchim etc .

When I was a kid I lived on a street that was a caul de sac on both sides and there was only one other kid on the entire street... a boy. We managed, had lots of friends come over and and were close as siblings

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I wouldn’t do it. The Torah says to look out your window and see what your children will be looking at when they look outside, that’s how they will be affected.
It’s a danger. Better to keep looking where you’ll have frum neighbors and friends and so will your kids.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:30 am

I grew up without immediate neighbors (although they were a short 5-10 min walk away) and always thought it was fine. So when we were looking to buy a house we didn’t think much of buying in a newer area. I also personally don’t have much interest in the bungalow colony style social scene and am happy to spend shabbos reading a book. We were one of the first on our block and it blew up right away with lots of kids. And I see how just how amazing it is for my own children to have friends on the block. So it might not be the hugest deal not to, but I can’t stress just how wonderful it is if there are a lot of kids around. I haven’t made close friends on the block, so I still get my quiet time and the houses are spread apart, so I really feel that I got the best of both worlds. The first week we moved in, when there was only one other frum family with kids my kids’ ages, my daughter was practically hyper ventilating with excitement about being able to run back and forth to the neighbor’s house. Ultimately you need to make the decision that works for you, but there is really a lot value to having friends for the kids nearby.

silverlining3

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:32 am

You have to know yourself.
Personally, I would look for something that's closer to where the frum families live, for myself even. I'm not the type to walk 6 or even 2 blocks to make friends.
And then yes, when kids grow up, I think we all more less want them to have their similar peers to play with, locally. And not having to take them every day a few blocks away.

Good luck

amother

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:46 am

Wow these responses are confusing me even more
what ppl are telling me is you have to be true to yourself as to what you can handle, I think my issue is that the gorgeous house is blinding me and not letting me zoom in on myself, I'm still so stumped
DH is ok wherever we are, he just wants me to be happy....

amother

Khaki

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:47 am

I live in a suburban area. We have a vibrant frum community, but we don't really know or have anything to do with our neighbors. We're fine with it. We make playdates for our younger kids and walk them to and from their friends' houses on Shabbos afternoons (not now with corona, obviously). Once our older kids are big enough to cross streets we let them go to friends on their own as long as we know where they're going and they know when they need to come home.

You have to know yourself. I would go nuts sitting in front of my house with neighbors in my business all the time. If you prefer the bungalow colony vibe then you're better off moving onto a frum block.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:52 am

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

There's a middle way. It doesn't have to be either no neighbors or bungalow colony lifestyle. You can have your privacy and neighbors. I wouldn't move to a house without neighbors. It's important for kids to have who to play with and even for myself, I like the company. I also feel it's important to have neighbors in case of emergency chas v'shalom. I wouldn't move to a house that's such a far walk to the frum community. I especially wouldn't buy, because if it doesn't work out, you're stuck.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you the type that wants to sit in the yard with neighbors shabbos afternoon while kids play together ? Is it important to you that kids have someone to play with daily, after school or camp? How important is privacy to you and personal space?