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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jul 30 2020, 2:45 pm
We were debating getting dd a shadow then covid came along along with many other problems to put the topic on the back burner. Dd has trouble focusing, following along how would shadow effect 3rd grader. Obviously she has a learning problem just dont want her to be known as the girl with the shadow. Are shadows helpful for the child long term or just that child shouldn't disturb teacher
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post  Thu, Jul 30 2020, 4:59 pm
Depends on what your child needs, is it someone to take her out of class for movement breaks so she can regulate and focus or someone to remind her to point on the place (or point for her?). A good shadow should be in the background only stepping in to help her when needed. Be careful because you don't want to create a crutch which won't give your daughter skills but only make her dependent...
May so have a successful year with lots of growth and nachas
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jul 30 2020, 5:07 pm
Schools need more teachers in every classroom. I wanted to get one too when my child was that age but I would have needed to pay privately.
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post  Thu, Jul 30 2020, 7:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We were debating getting dd a shadow then covid came along along with many other problems to put the topic on the back burner. Dd has trouble focusing, following along how would shadow effect 3rd grader. Obviously she has a learning problem just dont want her to be known as the girl with the shadow. Are shadows helpful for the child long term or just that child shouldn't disturb teacher


I always had trouble focusing in class (and in general). I also have a learning disability and just had the resource room or private tutoring. I am not familiar with what a shadow is there for but if the only problem is focusing, why not just have a tutor help her make it up then have the stigma of a shadow?
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jul 30 2020, 8:07 pm
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
I always had trouble focusing in class (and in general). I also have a learning disability and just had the resource room or private tutoring. I am not familiar with what a shadow is there for but if the only problem is focusing, why not just have a tutor help her make it up then have the stigma of a shadow?


To help a kid find a place, organizational things. At PTA in pre 1 A we got a schmooze about how my kid's papers are not organized in his binder.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jul 30 2020, 10:57 pm
Next question would be for how many years would a child get a shadow. Let's say shadow ends up just being a crutch so what would the next step be? Are shadows up to high school? Special school?
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paperflowers




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 1:40 am
An otherwise typically developing third grader in gen ed with focusing issues should have frequent redirection from the teacher and assistant teacher and work with the assistant teacher one on one or in a small group when she needs more help. A shadow (or 1:1 aide) would be necessary if she has severe behavioral challenges or medical issues. If the school is insisting you get a shadow and won’t put in an assistant teacher, she needs to be very discreet and appear like she is working with the class as a whole.

Are there other learning challenges? Has she been evaluated?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 2:10 am
Evaluation was pushed off, there is no assistant in 3rd grade . the second grade part time assistant was used for her alot. Chid is very bright , but has trouble in organizations, and focusing. Based on what I see might have another leaning disability such as dyslexic. Slightly slower at reading , and kria with getting pulled out but a terrible speller and not good at math not pulled out. Oh well guess she will have to have spell check once out of school. School is demanding. I know it's hard to say but trying to figure out her future. Does she belong in special ed? Is shadow the answer? Is it just a push off for longer? Would it help to switch to a smaller but not professional setting
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 6:36 am
If you suspect learning disabilities, a shadow is a temporary answer and a bandaid. You need a thorough and comprehensive evaluation to determine what is actually going on so you can give her the tools she needs to learn best. Jumping ahead to what will be in the long run, special Ed etc is premature. Many children with learning disabilities do well in a mainstream class if they are given the tools they specifically need in order to learn.
What about trying some preteaching and tutoring outside school to fill in the gaps so she is not as lost in the classroom until you can determine what she specifically needs.
Also, a shadow doesn't have much training so unless she needs it for behavior or to truly function, it's not going to address the riot issue
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 8:02 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Evaluation was pushed off, there is no assistant in 3rd grade . the second grade part time assistant was used for her alot. Chid is very bright , but has trouble in organizations, and focusing. Based on what I see might have another leaning disability such as dyslexic. Slightly slower at reading , and kria with getting pulled out but a terrible speller and not good at math not pulled out. Oh well guess she will have to have spell check once out of school. School is demanding. I know it's hard to say but trying to figure out her future. Does she belong in special ed? Is shadow the answer? Is it just a push off for longer? Would it help to switch to a smaller but not professional setting


Some schools are better equipped than others. There are special ed schools in certain cities geared for this type of child but probably not all. It also depends on your goals. Do you want her to be at 80 percent or is 40 percent ok and you will focus on getting her reading and math to 70 percent..these all factor in.
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 8:06 am
My friend sent her daughter to a frum school for dyslexia where she learned skills for a few years. Then she went back to her school.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 8:09 am
Op we are looking into a shadow as well. My daughter has adhd and is gifted. She needs someone to redirect her and there’s no assistant in the classroom. The school promised me she wouldn’t be singled out.

Honestly I’m not thrilled. I wish there were another option. These kids really need a school designed for them and not get stuffed into a desk for hours every day.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 8:22 am
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
Op we are looking into a shadow as well. My daughter has adhd and is gifted. She needs someone to redirect her and there’s no assistant in the classroom. The school promised me she wouldn’t be singled out.

Honestly I’m not thrilled. I wish there were another option. These kids really need a school designed for them and not get stuffed into a desk for hours every day.
[quote] my son has a similar profile and school made us get a shadow too. He really needed a gifted school, he was acting out because he was academically several grade levels ahead and had some anxiety related behavior...I don't think a shadow is the answer. If I had a choice I would've done a specialized school. The shadow fostered dependence and wasn't good for him socially. It also cost us a pretty penny.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 8:29 am
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
my son has a similar profile and school made us get a shadow too. He really needed a gifted school, he was acting out because he was academically several grade levels ahead and had some anxiety related behavior...I don't think a shadow is the answer. If I had a choice I would've done a specialized school. The shadow fostered dependence and wasn't good for him socially. It also cost us a pretty penny.
My daughter is adhd inattentive. Are there frum schools for kids like that? I haven’t heard of any. (I’m in Lakewood)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 3:11 pm
Does Lakewood have schools for kids that need that extra? Does Bais Faiga have a program? Whats Tree of Knowledge? What do people do?
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 3:28 pm
I think the shadow is 90% for the schools benefit and 10% for the kid. I would be very very cautious about starting with it because there is a real social stigma at that age. A kid who already doesn't feel great about themselves due to lower academic performance just gets it reinforced when they need a shadow.

While a kid often can become too reliant on it, its worse when the school becomes overly reliant because when you want to drop the shadow, they often give you a hard time. I have a friend experiencing this at the moment and its causing her major financial issues.

I think you really should pursue the evaluation. If its inattentive ADD some kids do great on meds. If its other learning disabilities you can find a special education teacher who is trained in the best modalities to help her. There is nothing more frustrating then blowing a ton of money on therapy that doesnt help.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 4:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does Lakewood have schools for kids that need that extra? Does Bais Faiga have a program? Whats Tree of Knowledge? What do people do?
Tree of Knowledge has self-contained classes. They weren't a fit for my daughter but they might suit your dd.

Bais Faiga has the same as any other school. Sometimes the kids get pulled out for help, sometimes they get a shadow. Sometimes both.
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 6:21 pm
Quote:
My daughter is adhd inattentive. Are there frum schools for kids like that? I haven’t heard of any. (I’m in Lakewood)


why in the world would you need a separate school for ADHD inattentive? Address the attention deficit and give her the support she needs in a regular environment.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Fri, Jul 31 2020, 6:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does Lakewood have schools for kids that need that extra? Does Bais Faiga have a program? Whats Tree of Knowledge? What do people do?


Lakewood has a program called mekor hachinuch which is self contained classes placed in different schools. They have a track for kids with learning difficulties, and a track (I think called yesodos) for kids with more difficult social / behavioral struggles. You can find info about it online. It may not be the right fit for your kid but you can look into it. They have a website you can check out.

My daughter falls somewhere on the ADHD / ASD spectrum and is very smart. Shes in the program. It is not the perfect fit but its the best thing I can find for her.
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