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Computer and filter for my 18 yr old daughter

 
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ladYdI




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 12:15 am
What kind of filter should we put on my 18 yr old daughters laptop. What kind of restrictions if any?
Tag wants $100 a year. Do I pay or does she have to?
Any other options? Which filters can I do myself and how much does it usually cost.
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amother




White
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:06 am
Does your DD want a filter? She's a legal adult, she can probably decide for herself.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:33 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
Does your DD want a filter? She's a legal adult, she can probably decide for herself.


This. I was gonna ask the same thing. At 18 she's an adult and can decide for herself.
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amother




Khaki
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:41 am
Adult or not she would still have rules of the house, no? I’m adjusting to having older teens. DS can get around the internet based filters we have tried with minimal effort. TAG phone filter has worked. I asked TAG what computer and filter to get based on what DS needed the computer for.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:47 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
Adult or not she would still have rules of the house, no? I’m adjusting to having older teens. DS can get around the internet based filters we have tried with minimal effort. TAG phone filter has worked. I asked TAG what computer and filter to get based on what DS needed the computer for.


As an adult living with my parents. Yes and no.

But a lot of it depends on the situation and how the adult is occupying her time.

I work 5 days a week out of the house, so I don't really do a lot of laundry and cooking... Etc

But I work in a supermarket do I do a lot of last minute shopping. And on the way home errands like the pharmacy.

But if I come home and want to watch TV until 2 in the morning. That's really my prerogative. Bc I also wake myself up and it's not your responsibility to get me up and it is the door.

So my gut is no filter for an adult who doesn't want it. But I guess it depends on how independent the adult is....
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amother




Brown
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:49 am
Gentech
You have to pay a little but it’s worth it

Google them and call
They will explain how it works
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:06 am
Op asked for filter info, not input on her family's decision.
her house her money her rules (as an aside theres a big difference between a young adult and an 18 year old seminary girl)
hatzlocha Op
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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:50 am
Gentech and netspark are what tag recommend and we find them better than any free ones (which are more easy to crack).
I dont agree "she is am adult, let her do what she wants." Firstly, she still lives at home. Secondly, there are other children in the home who can potentially use her laptop (even without her knowledge).
It's a bit expensive..$120/year... But can pay at once or installment.. Also may be some filters give more than one device per account? Check tag website.
Hatzlocha
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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:52 am
Ps tag's $100/year is for the filter- it doesnt go to them.... But they do charge if they install it for you. Maybe you can install yourself. You don't need to pay for cust support etc
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amother




Brown
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:08 am
Everyone needs borders and limitations in life..
Even adults... it’s very wrong for one to say “I’m adult and I can do whatever I want “.
V’hameynen yaven...
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:10 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Everyone needs borders and limitations in life..
Even adults... it’s very wrong for one to say “I’m adult and I can do whatever I want “.
V’hameynen yaven...


But adults can define their own borders. How many times on this site so we warm a woman not become her husband's mashgiach?

Same thing.

As an aside, if OP hasn't mentioned that dd was 18, but just said teenage, or older teen DD. This may not have come up.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:19 am
Maybe I missed something, but where does it say that DD is still living at home?

If OP's daughter is old enough to get a job, pay taxes, have her own apartment, vote, get married, and drive a car, she should be able to control herself while online. If not, then OP has bigger things to worry about than what brand of filter to get.

My DD found a way around filters by the time she was 12. Instead of restricting her access, I taught her right from wrong, and explained to her basic internet safety. By putting in filters, it just made her more curious. When everything was open, she lost interest and just wanted to play Minecraft.

If you want to keep a kid from stealing cookies, the LAST thing you do is tell them "Whatever you do, don't look in that cookie jar!"

(If you have a boy with a p0rn addiction, that is obviously a different case, and he needs professional help.)
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amother




Ginger
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 11:16 am
In my life, an 18 year old who lives at home and goes to school is still a child and absolutely you have an ability to put a filter on her computer in your house. You also have the responsibility to pay for that filter and not expect her to pay for it, even if she payed for the computer. (Not is it a "gift"- you want it on, you pay for it).
You have the right to dictate what goes on under your roof/what you pay for (including college if you are footing the bill -not her class schedule and courses, but where she lives-dorm or apartment, and some other stuff- unable to come up with examples). Clothing you pay for-you can dictate. If she buys it, you have much less say. Any alterations to make clothing more Tnius, if that is your judgement call, is on your dime. (But you probably can refuse to let her out of the house in something very untznius, unless you have a difference in Haskafa and derech)
In all fairness, my DD who is 19 asks my opinion. She respects me and I have a tremendous amount of respect for her. We have a great relationship and I am only speaking from my experience.

My 18 DD (last year) wanted a new dress to wear to a simcha (ah, Pre-COVID) she has plenty of clothes. She payed for it herselfas I felt a new dress was unnecessary. The slit was at a length which was safeck. She was comfortable leaving it. It I wanted 2 inches sewn shut. She lives in my home so it is my right, I payed for the alternations.

Most of all, as FF said above, teaching your child the values you want them to have and having them internalize them is the most important.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Thu, Aug 06 2020, 3:45 pm
Can anyone tell me more about the gentech or netspark filter please?

Does it block images or videos? What about fb? Can some pages be accessed?
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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Aug 10 2020, 11:42 pm
IF you check tag’s website they will explain the differences
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amother




Brown
 

Post  Mon, Aug 10 2020, 11:46 pm
Techlog
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ladYdI




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Aug 10 2020, 11:51 pm
Thank you all
My daughter did buy the computer with her own money but she herself knew from school and the rest of the family that it needs to get tagged. She ended up paying for it herself $100 plus $25 for installation.
FYI tag is able to do this all remotely without you going into the office.
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