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S/O of wedding costs -How do you live/your philosophy?
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How do you live? choose the closest option
Have cc debt, live in debt, life is expensive  
 7%  [ 14 ]
Owe money on loans other than mortgage, but no cc debt  
 7%  [ 13 ]
Live paycheck to paycheck, always trying to make a dollar out of 99 cents  
 9%  [ 17 ]
Live paycheck to paycheck, but do save for future  
 13%  [ 25 ]
We live within our means, barely make it  
 11%  [ 22 ]
We live within our means b"h are blessed with enough to not stress  
 35%  [ 66 ]
We live below our means b"h are able to  
 13%  [ 24 ]
Hashem has appointed us grantors of large charity  
 1%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 184



amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:00 am
How do you live financially? I had to limit number of poll answers, so closest one, I am excluding a mortgage as debt for this poll.

I know there are millions of specifics but a poll is limiting so I guess we can post further. Things like do you take from tzeddaka, kollel lifestyle nuances, out of ordinary things....

This is more for financial habit than income bracket so you can have say two people answering the same choice when one earns 40k yr and the other 240k a year.

This is about mindset, not income bracket. Do you borrow as a tool, use up everything each month, or live with less so you have cushion. And then I broke each into two choices to see if its being done more towards easily or keeping to your philosophy it requiring more discipline.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:08 am
What's the difference between "living within your means" and "living below your means"?
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:12 am
None of these fit our lifestyle.
We have education debt and mortgage but no CC debt. We earn well and live frugally overall to make ends meet. For our emotional health, we do have a few areas that we spend on (though MUCH less than the norm). We try to take a family vacation every year on cc points for airline, hotel and car rental. We go places that the points will give us a lot of bang per point. And I do buy relatively nice clothes for my older kids. Relatively nice = a couple of the cheaper shabbos outfits from frum stores so they look and feel like they fit in and the clothes for well from a tznius point.

Even those things we do within our means and cut back when we can't. We accept good quality hang me downs, rarely eat out, no sleep away camp.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:14 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
What's the difference between "living within your means" and "living below your means"?


Extreme example to try to clarify differentiation.

Living below is I earn 500k yearly, live off of 100k because thats all I need, I dont spend luxe just because I can, I never upped my lifestyle to that level, I am happy as is.

Living within is more like I earn 250k a year, I spend 200k a year. There is a "modest" but significant cushion.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:18 am
Bh we live within our means and have enough. Not sure if a car loan is considered a loan for your pool but I have just a car loan and a mortgage bh. No CC debt. Bh we save monthly as well.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:19 am
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
None of these fit our lifestyle.
We have education debt and mortgage but no CC debt. We earn well and live frugally overall to make ends meet. For our emotional health, we do have a few areas that we spend on (though MUCH less than the norm). We try to take a family vacation every year on cc points for airline, hotel and car rental. We go places that the points will give us a lot of bang per point. And I do buy relatively nice clothes for my older kids. Relatively nice = a couple of the cheaper shabbos outfits from frum stores so they look and feel like they fit in and the clothes for well from a tznius point.

Even those things we do within our means and cut back when we can't. We accept good quality hang me downs, rarely eat out, no sleep away camp.


I would choose for you the second choice then, owe but no cc debt. This is more about financial choices how to navigate life and whether you use debt as a tool than income bracket or future trajectory.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:20 am
I think it’s hard to answer we have no cc debt (other debt like morgage and investments). . We live below our means. . We just live very frugally by choice. Small house, old cars, sale clothing, buy second hand. But have nice jobs and savings, investments. Millionaire next store type of philosophy. I know ppl think we are poor due to our choices. But I think we and our children are happier this way.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:28 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
I think it’s hard to answer we have no cc debt (other debt like morgage and investments). . We live below our means. . We just live very frugally by choice. Small house, old cars, sale clothing, buy second hand. But have nice jobs and savings, investments. Millionaire next store type of philosophy. I know ppl think we are poor due to our choices. But I think we and our children are happier this way.


This is exactly that, about philosophy on money. So choose debt, no credit cards if it applies or below means if its only mortgage.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:28 am
My parents believed in education al menat to make a living. This meant that when I went to college I chose a field that I thought I could make a living with, as opposed to majoring in my favorite subject because it was my favorite subject.

My parents also taught me that:
if you can't afford something, you don't buy it.
if you really want something you can't afford right now, you save up money until you have enough to buy it. If you still want it by then--chances are you won't--then buy it and enjoy.
you don't have to get everything you want.
you don't have to have everything that your friends have.
pay yourself first, iow when you get paid, put money in savings first before you spend a cent.
better to have less and it's paid for than have more and you owe money on it.

My dh is always looking with envy at people who have big beautiful houses, big brand new cars, flashy jewelry, furs and other luxuries. I tell him not to be impressed, these things are not necessarily paid for. And when big spenders go bankrupt, whom do they hurt? all the business owners who sold them stuff on credit. a friend of ours was wiped out financially when his biggest customer went belly-up still owing him $170,000.

I don't have diamonds or furs or a Bosch mixer, but every stick we own is paid for. We don't make a lavish living, but it works because we don't live lavishly.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:33 am
Until a couple of months ago we were living paycheck to paycheck without saving. But we don’t own a credit card so no debt. BH
And then we got hit with a lot of medical bills and I just set up a payment plan where I’ll be paying money each month to a few places probably for a couple of years (!) until those are paid off. 😩
(We have insurance but a very high deductible so had to pay thousands for a kid’s recent stitches for example).
I had a job and stopped for a few years since it was too hard for me to work and be a mom and now I have to find a new one because this isn’t a way to live. Sad
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:48 am
Crying I think I messed up the poll. I should have stuck with just 3 choices.

Do you

Use debt as a means/tool
Live paycheck to paycheck, no debt except mortgage
Spend well below your income, no debt except mortgage
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:06 am
We live below our means and are very strict about putting money in savings because we are still young and don't know what will be in the future. My kids are still young so I don't have to worry about weddings just yet but I'd rather spend a little less now and worry less later.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:26 am
We live below our means. Dh and I both grew up poor. My parents were careful with every penny; dh's family spent money they don't have and had huge credit card debt. I'm frugal by nature so while I buy anything I need, I do compare prices. Dh likes having new things and going on vacation, but he still spends less than we earn. I have a child with special needs whose tuition is$128,000. This year's tuition caused some shalom bay is issues, but came out of dh's investments. He was very upset about having to spend his money on tuition, but our joint account didn't have that kind of money.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:42 am
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
Bh we live within our means and have enough. Not sure if a car loan is considered a loan for your pool but I have just a car loan and a mortgage bh. No CC debt. Bh we save monthly as well.


Same here. Bh. However, while I am comfortable with the way things are (small house, 40k saved up), DH (who has anxiety) still constantly worries about our finances. I lost a lot of business recently due to Covid and with the unemployment PUA ending soon, our income will be considerably smaller. I believe the money will come when we need it; he is constantly looking for extra jobs for me.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:46 am
It isn't always a choice. I'm very much of the live within your means mind. We didn't own a credit card for years. However at this point my husband is struggling with mental health issues and can't keep down a job. I work hard but making ends meet is hard. When my two boys came home from camp with torn sneakers least week goes how I paid for their (cheap $20) new pairs???
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:49 am
I think there is one big category you're missing - trying to be careful but got messed up because of medical/therapy bills.

We generally live within our means, but then we got hit with some big therapy bills and that threw us off (therapists are not always covered by insurance). So instead of saving, we got credit card debt instead. I have spoken to people and googled this a bit, and this seems to be fairly common in the US. So we're in good company.

Other than that, we live within our means. We'll wear hand me downs, didn't do any renovations on our house even though it needed it, and we haven't bought new furniture in years. I have minimal cleaning help, and only buy take out when I absolutely can't manage without it. But our years of credit card debt is still haunting us...
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:56 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
I think it’s hard to answer we have no cc debt (other debt like morgage and investments). . We live below our means. . We just live very frugally by choice. Small house, old cars, sale clothing, buy second hand. But have nice jobs and savings, investments. Millionaire next store type of philosophy. I know ppl think we are poor due to our choices. But I think we and our children are happier this way.


I think this is us too.
We live beneath our means by choice but we live very frugally. We do not make a lot of money, if we lived normally then we would be on credit cards.
No investments but yes savings.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 9:09 am
Interesting question
I think we basically live within our means
We have a cushion of a couple hundred thousand, not millions.
We drive old cars and buy cheap clothes.
But we have no problem going on a spontaneous one night vacation and blowing $500
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 9:10 am
I grew up with a very yekkish kind of attitude towards money. You only spend what you have, and preferrably less than that, so that you can put away savings. Dh is quite similar. So, we live below our means. I tend to wear clothes until they literally fall apart. I could easily afford new things but it's just not the way I do it.
We live in a tiny house, alright, but with no mortgage - we paid for it as we bought it, the whole sum in one go.
People around us don't know that and sometimes misinterpret the situation - I was kind of mortified when on Purim someone hid an envelope with matanot le'evionim-money among the mishloach manot we got. I've also found unasked for clothes donations next to our door.
Though that has kind of stopped when we bought a second car, which we needed. Needless to mention, it's paid for already. Even though we are not rich, we have savings.
I sometimes neglect paying things like water- and electricity bill, but out of stinginess, not because I couldn't.
Guess most people find that attitude weird, but we do we and try to stay debt free and financially independent. Nerd

On the bad middot side - when it comes to tzedaka and ma'aser kessafim, I also get stinginess attacks - something I have to work on, definitely Hiding
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 2:27 pm
I grew up poor, and over-compensate for that by making sure I never feel deprived as an adult. In other words, I shop a lot.

However, I grew up poor, so I have a fear of not having enough money, and over-compensate for that by saving as much as I can.

I reconcile these two aspects by treating myself often, but frugally - ex: I love updating my wardrobe, but rarely do so at full price. I love dining out, but go for drinks and dessert instead of a full dinner.

BH, our income is high enough to allow for these indulgences, savings, and a normal-to-high standard of living.
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