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10 yr dd won't wear training undergarments

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:36 pm
My 10 year old dd is developing and while she is quite small chested now, she is a little bit overweight and in my opinion needs to wear a training undergarment. Especially for the upcoming school year, her uniform shirt is form fitting, and it just doesn't look "smooth" or all that nice. She clams up every time I bring it up, and refuses to even look for an undergarment with me. So far I've told her that eventually she will have to agree, and the conversations have been casual and free from pressure (at least from my perspective...) I don't want to create emotional problems for her surrounding her body, especially since she is somewhat heavy. How do I approach this in a sensitive but firm manner. She is my oldest, so no real experience here on my end. TIA!!
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QueensMama




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:38 pm
I think I'd just buy comfy cotton sports bras and place them in her drawers. She'll probably try them on in private and see they're no big deal.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:39 pm
I have almost the exact same situation, would love any advice as well...
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:40 pm
Take her to Justice and let her pick out the cute tank tops they have with an extra layer. Its a special top for this purpose, its the perfect thing for girls who don't want to think about or wear something called a “training bra” which is such a cringe worthy thing to say. Even calling it a “training garment” is embarrassing. Let her pick out a few other cute things from there also so its not entirely focused on the one area. Also, Justice is a really fun store. Perfect for this age.

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Pink
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:42 pm
watergirl wrote:
Take her to Justice and let her pick out the cute tank tops they have with an extra layer. Its a special top foe this purpose, its the perfect thing for girls who don't want to think about or wear something called a “training bra” which is such a cringe worthy thing to say. Even calling it a “training garment” is embarrassing. Let her pick out a few other cute things from there also so its not entirely focused on the one area.


This. Have her wear an undershirt or tank top underneath.
She's too young to want to wear a training bra. Let it be for year, when hopefully she will be more eager for it.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:45 pm
Let it go. She doesn't want to be the only one. School uniform doesn't have to look nice.

She doesn't need a real bra at this stage. If you can judge her size, buy her two or three options and tell her you are leaving them in her drawer. (There are threads about this every few months. Someone can reccomend what you buy.) Let her experiment in privacy and in her own time. Not all girls want a fuss made about growing up and changing bodies.
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:49 pm
Gap has cami undershirts with a built in brallete that's perfect for this stage. Just put it in her draw and let her be.
I was the same but I was older than 10. I refused to put on a bra. My mom put it in my draw and I remember hiding them. Eventually I decided to try them.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:54 pm
Does she know and understand about developing and changing bodies and why it happens?

At that age, my mom forced me to wear an undershirt every single day, including in the boiling heat, without once explaining why. She literally wouldn't let me leave the house.

Only later did I realize it was because my nipples were showing through my shirt, but at the time I had no clue.
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amother




Coral
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 5:17 pm
I developed late but still didn't want to wear a sports bra. Mom told me we should go buy it so when I'm ready I have it.
We did that and a few months later I started wearing it. I hated it but by then I saw other girls also wear it so it was less of a deal.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 5:24 pm
Call it an undershirt. Get her some of the full length undershirts with the built in layer first and don’t refer to it as support or training undergarment. Just undershirt
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 5:53 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
This. Have her wear an undershirt or tank top underneath.
She's too young to want to wear a training bra. Let it be for year, when hopefully she will be more eager for it.

10 might be young to want to wear it but many girls really need it at that age if not younger.
I didn’t present it to dd as an option I showed her in the mirror that without them (even with a shell) you could see the points of the nipples and that while seeing the shape of the chest is fine that detail is not appropriate. She already had friends wearing them so it wasn’t a surprise to her.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:27 pm
Get her shelf bra cami tank top, she is only 10. Looks like an undershirt enough.
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My 10 year old dd is developing and while she is quite small chested now, she is a little bit overweight and in my opinion needs to wear a training undergarment. Especially for the upcoming school year, her uniform shirt is form fitting, and it just doesn't look "smooth" or all that nice. She clams up every time I bring it up, and refuses to even look for an undergarment with me. So far I've told her that eventually she will have to agree, and the conversations have been casual and free from pressure (at least from my perspective...) I don't want to create emotional problems for her surrounding her body, especially since she is somewhat heavy. How do I approach this in a sensitive but firm manner. She is my oldest, so no real experience here on my end. TIA!!

When my oldest daughter was apprehensive (usually bec they think they’re the only one) I bought camis from children’s place They have a bit of support so it flattens the chest and sounds like it will work for your daughter without the “embarrassment “ of wearing a real sports b-a
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:55 pm
Op here. Thank you all for the insight, I think I will buy her a cami with a bralette built in and just put it in her drawer without a comment. I haven't spoken to her about maturity yet, I am planning on it soon.
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