Candle ligthing unmarried girls everywhere?

amother

Salmon

Mon, Aug 10 2020, 12:35 am

qwertyqwerty wrote:

I’m actually, pretty sure that Halacha is for girls to light from age 3. Didn’t the Imahos light from age 3? I could be wrong, I’ll look up the source soon, but when the Rebbe started the candle lighting campaign, the whole reasoning behind it is that it’s Halacha. Unfortunately, a lot of Halacha got lost in the holocaust and also with Jews coming to America and giving up most of their yiddishkeit.
Actually, someone quoted a source above. Isn’t that enough reason to light from age 3?

Well, some of the Imahos were in fact married at age three. So that’s really no proof.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Aug 10 2020, 12:42 am

[quote="Chickensoupprof]No one lit a candle for me at home? No one was making a brocho especially for me while lighting candles at my parents house NO ONE. At least I could do that for myself and it meant so much so I just don't get it why my daughters shouldn't.... ( I still don't have children)[/quote]

Please understand that someday when you G-d willing will have children, they will have YOU as their Jewish mother to light for them in the way of countless generations of Jewish women who came before. Isn’t that beautiful?

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Aug 10 2020, 1:41 am

Not chabad (or chassidic), but my mother's family has the minhag that little daughters light one candle each. I don't remember ever hearing an exact age - it was a question of when each mom (not to mention each kid) was ok with the idea of handling fire. Certainly all of us would have started before we hit first grade, though I'm sure most of us were younger.

For my girls, because they are close in age, I waited until they were both ready - or at least old enough to have a clue why we were doing what we were doing. I didn't want candle lighting time to become a fight of "how come she gets to do this and I can't". So, more like ages 5 and 3 in my house, but same general concept. And while I had certainly heard of Chabad and doing it at age 3, the custom was from years before in my family.

And growing up we knew that if we were staying over at someone's house it was no big deal to light a candle there, and when my girls go for sleepovers or shabbatons I send them with tea lights in case the host doesn't have any extra candles. Some of my friends growing up lit, some didn't, same thing with my daughters' friends. We just all saw it as different customs and didn't really bat much of an eye at it.

(What has been interesting to me is seeing who as adults lights two candles and who lights two plus an extra one for each kid in the family - so interesting how many customs there are for doing so many beautiful mitzvos!)

Shuly

Mon, Aug 10 2020, 7:48 am

My sister lit one candle for a few years because my parents thought it was nice, but when she went to camp, they didn't let the girls light so our rav said she should stop lighting if she can't do it every week.
I never lit because she had already stopped lighting when I turned 3.
(not Chabad)

shanie5

Mon, Aug 10 2020, 3:15 pm

When I was about 7 years old (possibly younger), my parents took a trip to Israel. They brought back a small pair of leichter for me and my younger sister. I started lighting then and never stopped. The sisters born later started lighting at 3. I lit 1 until I married. I only said the brocha as a single but added the yehi ratzon when I got married. My girls all started lighting at age 3. I think my dds plan to do the same. I dont think my dils will do it. Gonna ask them.
We are not chabad. My mom thinks I started lighting before chabad started promoting it.
Even if not, she didn't do it because of chabad.
Going away for shabbos was never a problem. I just told them I light a shabbos candle and they were fine with it.