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Please help my baby sleep - I messed up already!

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 12:25 pm
For my first 2 babies, I did CIO. It worked fantastic and they are great sleepers.

But for this baby, I felt guilty doing CIO. So I tried to "teach her" the right way because I theoretically do "know" what the baby needs to go to sleep... except its not working. She's 4 months old. I only bottle-feed.

1. She ONLY eats before bedtime/naptime. When she wakes up in the morning, I try to give her a bottle. She won't take it. She will only drink it right before she takes a nap, and then she falls asleep sucking it. Same throughout the day - she'll drink maybe one ounce before nap or bedtime, refuse any more, and only drink the rest right before bed.

2. She only sleeps well swaddled, but when she breaks out of her swaddle she wakes up. However, I can't wean her from the swaddle because she will not fall asleep unless her arms are tucked in.

3. I've tried to create a nighttime routine and then putting her into the crib awake. It doesn't work because she usually falls asleep while sucking her formula. If for some reason she hasn't fallen asleep while eating, she'll scream if I put her down awake, so I rock her in my arms. Then she falls asleep. I know this is wrong but she won't go down otherwise.

So now she's 4 months and waking up every 3.5 hours to eat. If her arm comes out of her swaddle, she'll wake up before 3.5 hours (like 2 hours later) but she won't go back to sleep unless I rock her or give her more formula.

I've been trying for the last 4 weeks to teach her to fall asleep on her own (Put her in the crib and gently bounce her there, etc) but it's really not working. I feel like it's getting worse.

Is there anything I can do? TIA
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paperflowers




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 12:39 pm
There are a bunch of great threads on here about sleep training. (Don’t let them make you feel guilty about using CIO for your first two.) Whatever method you decide to use, don’t despair that at four months she isn’t sleep trained yet. Some babies are ready at that age and some are not. Hope you get a good night’s sleep soon!
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amother




Mint
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 12:53 pm
I’m not a sleep training expert and didn’t get babies to sleep train until they were almost a year old (when I was at the end of my rope from sleep deprivation)
But I must say that swaddling at 4 months is not safe. If your baby rolls over with her arms swaddled it can be very dangerous- she can get stuck face down and be unable to reposition herself. If she’s able to break out of her swaddle, it becomes a loose blanket which is a hazard (suffocation/strangulation) in a crib. Please stop swaddling right away. Try switching to a sleep sack.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:02 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I’m not a sleep training expert and didn’t get babies to sleep train until they were almost a year old (when I was at the end of my rope from sleep deprivation)
But I must say that swaddling at 4 months is not safe. If your baby rolls over with her arms swaddled it can be very dangerous- she can get stuck face down and be unable to reposition herself. If she’s able to break out of her swaddle, it becomes a loose blanket which is a hazard (suffocation/strangulation) in a crib. Please stop swaddling right away. Try switching to a sleep sack.


I agree 100%. I should have clarified... I do use a sleep sack with velcro flaps to secure the arms down. But she's able to squirm out of it by pushing her arms up near her face. There's no loose anything in the crib!
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amother




Green
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:09 pm
Here's just my 2 cents,

Keep doing what you're doing. Some kids will get sleep trained earlier, some take more time. You will get there. It will happen.

Dont worry abt her eating before sleep, that's fine. What you should continue to work on is for her to go back to sleep when she wakes up at night. I would suggest, putting her in her desired sleep position (or if ypu want to get rid of swaddling, just get rid of it, and she'll learn new habits) so once she's eaten and needs to sleep, do ypur routine and then put her in her crib. Let her cry for 2 minutes. Time it. Then pick her up, calm her, sing etc, then put her back down. Repeat. She will get the message that she is expected to sleep on her own.

4 months is still young, so if you're consistant, she should be sleeping better soon.

Hatzlocha!!
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:31 pm
Precious little sleep is a great resource.
One thing they say is - what happens at the beginning of the night is going to repeat throughout the night. Meaning you have to get bedtime sleep good in order to get independent middle of the night sleep.
4 months is a perfect age to start you’re not too late!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:41 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
Here's just my 2 cents,

Keep doing what you're doing. Some kids will get sleep trained earlier, some take more time. You will get there. It will happen.

Dont worry abt her eating before sleep, that's fine. What you should continue to work on is for her to go back to sleep when she wakes up at night. I would suggest, putting her in her desired sleep position (or if ypu want to get rid of swaddling, just get rid of it, and she'll learn new habits) so once she's eaten and needs to sleep, do ypur routine and then put her in her crib. Let her cry for 2 minutes. Time it. Then pick her up, calm her, sing etc, then put her back down. Repeat. She will get the message that she is expected to sleep on her own.

4 months is still young, so if you're consistant, she should be sleeping better soon.

Hatzlocha!!


How many times should I try this before calling it quits? I could see this taking forever.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 9:19 pm
If cio worked for the first 2 , do it again for this one 😘
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amother




Sienna
 

Post  Sun, Aug 09 2020, 10:02 pm
Googel Gentle Sleep Method and get a coach
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