Are there fights on your block among frum families?

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:51 pm

I truly feel said that there are frum families on my block that are not on speaking terms with each other. They bad mouth each other to the rest of us in an attempt to explain why the other is unreasonable or crazy. Is this normal? What do you say when one of them is bad mouthing the other? Then the following day it's the opposite?

lk1234

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 3:44 pm

It is definitely not the norm. I've lived on various blocks over the years and have never encountered that. As the previous posters said you don't want to get triangulated into this. They may be pulling you in for their own selfish interests. Do not get involved- walk away or change the subject. Like you are saying, one day they hate each other then the next day they are best friends and you are left as the outsider who took in the negative from them both.

amother

Silver

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 7:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

“I’m sorry but I try not to listen to or speak lashon hara.”

tweety1

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 7:40 pm

turca wrote:

Yes, unfortunately. Over nonsense

Yes unfortunately to an old neighbor. But I never spoke to other neighbors abt them. And if you're that other neighbor who thinks she knows what went on, you don't. It was not over nonsense at all. My kids are still traumatized by what that neighbor did. Non of my neighbors know the real story. She tortured us I can't even begin to tell you from the day she moved in. I never spoke abt it to anybody other than to my dh and some family members who I'm extremely close too. I decided to push it under the rug as a zchus for my family. Ladies, plz don't judge if you ever hear 2 neighbors on not on speaking terms. Another neighbor of mine a 30-40 old guy slapped my kid on the head cuz he got mad at him over a fight between kids. Some ppl are born without brains.

amother

Pink

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:43 pm

The first bunch of years I was married, we lived in an apartment building. For the most part all the neighbors were nice, and we got along with everyone. Except for one couple (probably around 50-60). We were the only one on our floor with little kids, and she had it in for us. If the garbage was left out by our door for a minute, we would get a call. If my kids talked above a certain noise level she'd be angry. If wrappers was left on the floor in the hallway, she'd call the management on us (we were very careful with this, but there were lots of kids on other floors in the building who used to run through our floor sometimes and drop things). We tried really hard to keep the peace, but somehow whatever we did wasn't good enough. One time I sent my almost four-year-old down the hall to another neighbor to return something. Suddenly he ran back into the house, item still in hand, crying and shaking. It took me a long time to get the story out. Apparently on his way down the hall, some kids ran down the hall the same time making noise. The lady stepped out of her apartment but by that time the other kids weren't there only my son. She yelled at him that she's going to call the police on him for making noise in the hallway and hes going to have to go to jail. I was SO angry (even now many yrs later I'm getting worked up thinking about it). Even if my son did do something wrong, she should tell me, not take matters into her own hands and scream at a 3-4yr old. My son was shaken up for weeks after. It was then we realized it was time to move.

amother

cornflower

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:57 pm

My block is all frum and BH for the most part we get along. Our block is two very different types of ppl . (Very ultra yeshivish and just plain frum, yeshivish came after)

I can't say I am in a fight with someone but one of my ultra yeshivish neighbors just spread a rumor that I am moving. I found out after being harassed by local agents how much I am selling my house for. I was able to trace it back to this neighbor. I am not in a fight with her but you bet I won't be having anything to do with her at all anymore. (not that I had much before this....)

amother

Coral

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 10:13 pm

I was just thinking about this today. How my old block one neighbor called the city on another neighbor because of some trivial thing so they stopped talking. Then the first neighbor stopped talking to another but I wasn't sure why. I was thinking today that maybe it would have been better for my family to have lived on a more peaceful block but it's too late for that now. Better to move, like tje ChofetzChaim said, that maclokes is like a raging fire and one should run from it like we would run from a fire.
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