S/o it makes me crazy

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 12:25 am

Based on the other thread- it seems that I shouldn’t make my 10 year old get a haircut before school stats even though she looks much better in short hair- because she likes it long?

(I used to have this same fight with my mother)

ExtraCredit

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 12:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Girls like to have their hair in ponies these days.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 12:55 am

DO NOT MAKE HER CUT HER HAIR!!
Unless there's a real reason to, like she doesn't know how to handle her extra extra extra long hair, then let her keep it whichever length she wants to.
My mom used to make me get haircuts before school, chanukah time and pesach time and I DREADED it. Especially before the first day of school. You want her to feel confident, not self conscious about her new haircut.
You can offer the haircut, and if she wants it cool and if not just offer again in a few months.

zaq

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 8:55 am

Exactly, OP. YOU FEEL it looks better short. She feels otherwise. As long as she is capable of caring for it and doesn't come to you to brush it, detangle it, braid it, shampoo it etc. and she doesn't do things like chew on it or play with it in class, let it be. If it's ragged or shapeless, it should be trimmed to get rid of split ends and rats' tails, but that's it.

OTOH if she demands that YOU brush it etc., then she gets short hair till she's old enough to do for herself.

keym

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 9:08 am

I had this.
I insist on 2-3 times a year beginning of school year, Chanukah, and Pesach time- to cut the ragged ends and satisfy school requirements. Those appointments are non-negotiable even if we only cut 1 inch. I see it as part of my part to teach good hygiene.
I let her choose how long she'll leave it.
Sometimes, she surprises me. Her objection to getting her hair cut is no patience and no time. But once she's actually in the chair, she'll request a shorter cut that actually looks cuter on her.
I don't allow high maintenance styles like bangs unless she's willing to commit to the frequent trims that comes with it.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 9:11 am

OP I'll be the dissenting opinion here. I think it is awful how some of DDs friends have such long hair. Not one of them ever wears it in a pony, and honestly to me it looks dirty and bedraggled no matter how often they shower.
DD knows her hair can only go past a certain length and then it gets cut. My mom did this to me and I have no "traumatic" memories. I try to not cut it too short - may mean haircuts more often - and not the week before school either, so it doesn't have that just cut look to it.

There's a way to do it right and make your daughter feel good about having beautiful "short" hair

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 9:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You shouldnt MAKE her do anything. She’s 10. Treat her with some respect.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 9:19 am

You can do as amother above said and mandate a haircut to trim off the split ends. It's very informative to listen to the person doing the haircut- she knows trends, and will validate your daughter and help you understand where she's coming from. She can also often suggest a compromise, maybe something that is also on trend that is more to your liking. For example, sometimes subtle layering or angling can let dd keep the length but look a bit more put together, and it may be that that is what dd want anyway and didn't know how to get it.

But it's up to dd to choose it, as long as she can maintain it.