So hurt, comment on weight loss

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:08 am

I had a terrible experience by a simcha last night I just have to vent. I am very overweight and tried dieting seriously for the past three months. I so far lost about twenty pounds. I know I still need to loose more, but I feel happier with how I look and overall healthier. Last night and a few people complimented me on my weight loss. I felt very good until one lady who is a size zero, and think is a personal trainer saidSomething like, “yes it’s very impressive but you have a looong way to go.” I left in tears. What was the point of that comment? It’s one thing if I was her client, but to say that to someone at a vort! I’m just venting and hoping some of you ladies can help me feel better.

109

groovy1224

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:10 am

That would not be okay even to say to a client!!!! How horrible. No wonder she weighs so little, with no heart or brain.

OP, 20 pounds is amazing!!! You should be extremely proud of yourself!!

ShishKabob

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:19 am

groovy1224 wrote:

That would not be okay even to say to a client!!!! How horrible. No wonder she weighs so little, with no heart or brain.

OP, 20 pounds is amazing!!! You should be extremely proud of yourself!!

This!
Hugs op, I'm so proud of you and you should be too! Smile

giselle

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:22 am

Omg people are so strange. 20 pounds is amazing! You go girl!

Ultimately I feel worse for the tactless trainer. Can you imagine being so clueless? I’m embarrassed for her.

Success10

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:27 am

I guess in her own ineffective way, she was trying to market her personal trainer services to you. But it sounds like you're doing just fine without her.

life is fun

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:35 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Well done, loosing 20lb during corona times is more than amazing!!! You should be very proud of yourself (....most people are gaining)

OP Im sorry for your pain. Maybe this other lady wanted to be noticed too and just had to say something and what came out was very tactless..and has no reflection of your true achievement!!

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:52 am

1) 20 lb during Corona is the equivalent of losing 40 lb. Kol hakavod! You should be incredibly proud of yourself.
2) as the poster above said, she weighs so little because she doesn't have a heart or a brain.
3) she is just a mean & insecure person who clearly only feels good about herself if she is taking people down. A good person feels good and improves themselves by elevating others around them and they too are elevated. A horrible person (her) feels good by lowering others.

I don't care how skinny she is, I feel bad for her. She must internally be a very unhappy and dissatisfied person.

Once again kudos for all your weight loss! You should feel great and be so proud of yourself.

icebreaker

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:56 am

Wow!! What is wrong with people??? I’m so sorry. Please ignore her and continue to focus on yourself and your own happiness ❤️

WhatFor

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:04 am

Congrats on losing the weight! That could not have been easy and must have required a ton of strength.

In the nicest possible light, this woman sounds terribly off socially. Someone who makes an unsolicited comment like that to you has likely made similar unsolicited comments to others. Her comment had nothing to do you and everything to do with her. No amount of muscle or abs can hide a personality like that. Yikes.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:04 am

what a nasty heartless thing to say. you did something huge and there she goes belittling it. what guts.
I would never use her as a coach or trainer or anything. I hate haughty people who think they're better than others.

that being said, can you pleaeeeese share your secret to successful dieting. I'm desperate.

iyar

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:09 am

OP, that lady is an idiot. Find the file in your brain where her comment is, and delete it.

amother

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:13 am

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Aqua, I was doing the keto diet.

DrMom

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:17 am

Kol hakavod to you!

People can lose/gain weight, but stupidity is harder to fix.

This person obviously has serious problems. Don't let her diminish your well-deserved satisfaction with your amazing accomplishment.

Cheiny

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:20 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m so sorry. Just tell yourself that woman has no brains, no sensitivity and probably low self esteem. She obviously was trying to show off that she’s got something up on you; people who put down others to build themselves up have very low self esteem.

Don’t let anyone knock down your huge progress! You’re doing great! 20 lbs. is a large weight loss, and you should give yourself a lot of credit for doing that!

Please don’t let that woman’s disgusting, inconsiderate and foolish remark get you down; just remember that embarrassing someone publicly is akin to murder according to the Torah! She owes you a big apology, but forget about her. Accept what you went through as a kappara instead of needing a more serious test, accept it b’ahava and keep looking ahead at how well you’re doing!

amother

Ruby

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:21 am

Is there a high five emoji? Two years ago I lost 20 lbs which got me down to 170. I worked hard, changing my diet to more whole food and less added sugars, but I hit a wall. Still, I've kept it off for 2 years. Which is pretty amazing. My blood pressure's great, lots of numbers much better.
Losing weight during corona? I take off my hat. Figuratively. You go, girl!

amother

Ivory

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:25 am

What a jerk!
You should be so so so proud of yourself!!

amother

Mint

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:28 am

Deleted due to passive aggressive hugs. If you don’t like my comment then say so and we can have a conversation.

s c

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:31 am

That's amazing. I struggle so hard to lose a single pound, I would be over the moon to lose 20 lbs. You should be thrilled with yourself. The problem is all hers. Please don't let her get you down .

amother

Purple

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:39 am

Op, I might not be nice for saying this- but that is why some very skinny people annoy me. They don’t understand the struggle. They think overweight ppl are just careless and neglectful. I’m very overweight myself and I would probably leave crying too.
There’s a person in my life who years ago used to be overweight and is very thin for the last 30 years or so. She thinks just because she was able to do it, everyone can!!! And she also thinks that if you’re overweight, you’re a nothing. Well, recently she did me a favor but it came with a package- she just kept telling me that I must lose weight. A few years ago I lost about 60 lbs. and after getting so many critic from her I was actually looking forward to meet her at a simcha. I was waiting for a compliment from her. It never came. You know why??? Because I Hadn’t reached a size 2 like she. only a size 12, well I was coming from a size 24!!!!

Whoa... that was a good vent. Thanks op.
Op, you’re doing great. Losing 20 lbs is not a walk in the park. Ignore her!! People like her are not worth to have their comments stored in your brain.

Op, keep up

amother

Coffee

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:47 am

I have nothing to say that wouldn't involve profanity directed at that really rude person. Some people!

I also just lost my "COVID-19" (the 20 lbs I put on since Purim)..and I also have a lot more to lose. I probably would have cried if I'd been on the receiving end of that, but then sitting over here thinking about it, I would have just calmly wanted to say "Yup, you're right. I do have a lot more to go. As a personal trainer, you obviously realize that that comment is 1000% demotivating and inappropriate in this context. " and if they try to say that on the contrary, it's why they are so successful, I'd just point out that that's doubtful as they haven't retired yet.

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