Worried about my daughter. Is this depression?

amother

Wed, Aug 26 2020, 1:29 am

My daughter has just turned 11 and for the last 3-4 + months her personality has changed so much. She used to be such a happy kid and now she’s so angry all the time. She admits this herself. Nothing interests her anymore, she’s always bored because she has no interest in anything. She’s starting high school next week and she should be so excited! Instead she can’t be bothered doing her shopping for school or choosing a new school bag or going for shoes. When we try to discuss things she can do to keep busy she says no to everything. “No I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do that - but I just need to do something. I need something to do!”

Yes lockdown has had a major impact on our lives and yes she’s starting to develop now and yes the lack of structure for so long is getting to her and yes she has an older brother that borders on bullying her which we’re working on too. But even with all that I feel this is excessive. She has outbursts over the smallest thinga and last night had a crying spell for over an hour.

I have an appointment to speak with our doctor today but I wanted to ask on here what is the usual course of action at this point? I’m presuming we try everything before going down the medication route but what does that “everything” include? Is it counselling sessions? Self help tools? Tools for us as parents because we’ve definitely been dealing with it all wrong?

Can anyone let me know what I can expect? And at the same time if you have any advice on how I can help her I’d be most grateful!

2gether

Wed, Aug 26 2020, 2:08 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m presuming we try everything before going down the medication route but what does that “everything” include?

exersize is an amazing mood booster
eating less sugar and processed foods
try omega & vit D
a good night sleep every night

definitly speak to a good mechanech etc.

Last edited by 2gether on Wed, Aug 26 2020, 2:14 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Aug 26 2020, 2:13 am

Are u me ???
My daughter is also 11 and has been acting so dificult the last few months .
One thing that's different with her is that she loves shopping and it always makes her in a good mood . Her love language is receiving gifts . But the second we say no to something her bad mood comes back in full swing .
Her older brother also teases her a lot but she is so so mean to him .
I spoke to a counselor and waiting for her to get a slot for counselling. In the meantime we just bite on our lips and cry it out ...(she literally makes me cry so many times )

My daughter also has crying outburst.

amother

Ginger

Wed, Aug 26 2020, 2:34 am

I was diagnosed with depression at 11, with minor talk of suicide, and put on meds immediately. I was coming from a very dysfunctional home. But that is not the case here. There are probably developing hormones at play that are contributing to your daughter's crankiness. And, of course, Corona lockdown and lack of structure.

Your general pediatrician is a great place to start voicing your concerns. Your pre-teen daughter might not cooperate with a full regimen of exercise, therapy and vitamins, but that would be the first place to start. Keep an eye on her, if you think it is getting a bit extreme, and not getting better, you should talk to a psychiatrist. Sometimes medicine is just a gift from Hashem.

amother

Tan

Wed, Aug 26 2020, 8:35 am

Another mom here. I was struggling for the last year with my ds 11 . He used to be the best and one of my calmest goody goody. Once he hit 11 everything turned around and I just felt I got a different kid in my house . Severe sensitivity, everything from the littlest things got to him and made him act out, teases a lot his younger brother. I couldnt figure out where this behavior came from ..

Later in the year me and dh decided that we are needing to switch him to a new cheider for a few reasons. Once we decided on the change , my ds got super excited, his mood changed to the better , also we took him to the country now for a week , and his mood is amazing. He loves it here . Running around , its huge and spacious, for the energized kids to give themselves out. he socializes a ton here. he even helps me so much and I feel slowly I'm getting back his old self .

The main things I learned while he acted out was not overreact to his anger or behavior. I either ignored or stayed very calm and let it go untill he came to realize how silly he behaved . Also, a change of scenery or do something different, fun, to turn mood up . Letting him explore a lot in the summer really has helped him become happier and better mooded. The pandemic definitely messed up a lot . That's why I felt I needed to give my kids a good fulfilling summer so they can start the year refreshed .

I also wanna tell u from my experience from my older kids. kids definitely will have a stage of dealing with confusion, depression, anxiety, u name it . It does get better with time . All my kids had such stages , and bh it didnt stay . I think it's part of growing up . 11 I call "pre-teen" the hormonal definitely starts to play around . Keep that in mind.

Wish u lots of hatzlacha