Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
Serious high school problem- please recommend a school
1  2  3  4  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 2:58 pm
DD is a very frum girl. Davens regularly, is careful with middos, tznius etc.
We are from a yeshivish family with dh working and has evening chavrusas.
DD is not academic. She struggles tremendously with school work. While she sits in class and follows what’s going on, writing assignments, homework, tests are a nightmare. She is very self conscious about her academic weaknesses and tries to cover up for it. Her grades will not get her grades into a good school but she won’t even listen to options of newer, smaller schools. She wants to be like everyone else and not have to go to a second choice school.
If she were academic, Bais yaakov would have been our choice. I think Bais Shaindel is our second choice but we have no connections there at all and her grades certainly won’t speak for her.
So what are we left with?
She doesn’t want a school where the girls are “cool”.
She doesn’t want a new/ small school.
Any suggestions please send them my way.
Thank you!!!!
Back to top

amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 3:04 pm
I am not in Lakewood and am blessed to live in a community without this drama.
She sounds like a lovely Bat Torah, who while not academically brilliant, has beautiful middot, is a good influence, and someone you should be very proud of.
Can you speak to the principal of her school? What do they have to say?
They know who the good kids are, the smart kids, and the ones who will cause reputations issues.
Does she have an IAP? Do schools want that for funding?
As I said, not in Lakewood, but by us, a serious kid who is a mensch count for something.
Back to top

oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 3:06 pm
Do you have a Rav who can call for you?
Back to top

Chaya123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 3:28 pm
What does her elementary principal say? Where did you apply? Are you in touch with vaad? Would you try Maon?
Back to top

amother
Gray


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:03 pm
I'm sorry to say that it's not really relevant where she wants to go because she will probably end up where she gets accepted!
I'm really not trying to be mean but the more she's flexible and the less likely she will be disappointed!
Most high schools in Lakewood are great, the curriculum is very similar in all schools and you will find good girls(and other kinds!) everywhere!!
Daven that she should find good friends wherever she goes!
Back to top

oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:11 pm
Contact the Vaad.
Back to top

amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:22 pm
Is this for next year?
Back to top

naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:33 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I am not in Lakewood and am blessed to live in a community without this drama.
She sounds like a lovely Bat Torah, who while not academically brilliant, has beautiful middot, is a good influence, and someone you should be very proud of.
Can you speak to the principal of her school? What do they have to say?
They know who the good kids are, the smart kids, and the ones who will cause reputations issues.
Does she have an IAP? Do schools want that for funding?
As I said, not in Lakewood, but by us, a serious kid who is a mensch count for something.


Where is this Shangri-la that thou speaketh of..
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:33 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I'm sorry to say that it's not really relevant where she wants to go because she will probably end up where she gets accepted!
I'm really not trying to be mean but the more she's flexible and the less likely she will be disappointed!
Most high schools in Lakewood are great, the curriculum is very similar in all schools and you will find good girls(and other kinds!) everywhere!!
Daven that she should find good friends wherever she goes!


And please tell your daughter that there are no second choice schools in Lakewood.

Consider the fact that a smaller school has more of a chance to allow your daughter to shine, rather than be lost in the crowd. And the newer schools tend to try really hard because they need to build up a good name.


Last edited by Simple1 on Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:37 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top

CiCi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:36 pm
This is a big issue in our communities, in the Chassidishe schools as well as the Yeshivishe, in NY and NJ. I'm not sure how education is taught in Israel and in cities throughout the US, but here it's all about memorization. In other words, your daughter may be exceptionally brilliant but may not learn well through memorization which is how the majority of material is taught. She may learn visually. As someone who taught myself an immense ammount of technical knowledge pertinent to my field of work, and I'm still constantly learning, it was only posibble for me because I tought myself outside of a school setting, particularly a heimishe school setting. The same knowldge would never enter my brain would I learn it in a regular heimishe school our girls are going to. Education is taught mostly by rote and memorization and there's not so much hands on learning, although the situation is very slowly getting better.

I'm sorry I can't help you with choosing a school for your daughter, but please reasure your daughter that she is smart but simply learns in a different way than is taught in our heimishe schools.
Back to top

amother
Wine


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 6:11 pm
She follows what’s going on in class but has trouble with written work?
Have you checked her vision thoroughly? Looked into binocular dysfunction?
Hatzlacha!
Back to top

amother
Purple


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 9:10 pm
At that age, a lot of her opinions are formed by the people around her. It's time for you to start talking positively about the advantages of small, new schools.
Back to top

amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 9:30 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
Where is this Shangri-la that thou speaketh of..

Greater Teaneck area. (Teaneck/Bergenfield/Englewood/Fair-lawn.....)
EVERYONE gets into a school. It might not be there first choice, but usually it is. There are tracks at every level. The kids who have the most difficulties getting in are the ones who lack nice middot and bullying other kids and a chutzpadick to teachers. Students who don't submit homework also have a greater challenge. On the day that accept letters go out, everyone gets in somewhere out of their 3 choices. The principals barter to break up mean girl cliques and they may each take 3 "problem kids" to share the wealth, but the elementary principals manage expectations in advance encouraging parents to submit applications to where they can get in. There was a faux pas last year, but everyone felt terrible and it was resolved very quickly.
Back to top

amother
Black


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:14 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Greater Teaneck area. (Teaneck/Bergenfield/Englewood/Fair-lawn.....)
EVERYONE gets into a school. It might not be there first choice, but usually it is. There are tracks at every level. The kids who have the most difficulties getting in are the ones who lack nice middot and bullying other kids and a chutzpadick to teachers. Students who don't submit homework also have a greater challenge. On the day that accept letters go out, everyone gets in somewhere out of their 3 choices. The principals barter to break up mean girl cliques and they may each take 3 "problem kids" to share the wealth, but the elementary principals manage expectations in advance encouraging parents to submit applications to where they can get in. There was a faux pas last year, but everyone felt terrible and it was resolved very quickly.

Okay, now that you got a chance to praise your community for not being Lakewood, the OP was asking for help with Lakewood high schools.
Back to top

amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:35 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
Okay, now that you got a chance to praise your community for not being Lakewood, the OP was asking for help with Lakewood high schools.

I apologize as I seem to have insulted your sensibilities.
I initially responded to OP stating that I am not in Lakewood and that I don't know your community but that she sounds like she has beautiful middot and she should be very proud of her. I provide some ideas which may or may not be helpful, as I don't know the community. I was asked where I live by naturalmom5.
I once again apologize if I was not supposed to answer.
Back to top

amother
Burlywood


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:38 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Greater Teaneck area. (Teaneck/Bergenfield/Englewood/Fair-lawn.....)
EVERYONE gets into a school. It might not be there first choice, but usually it is. There are tracks at every level. The kids who have the most difficulties getting in are the ones who lack nice middot and bullying other kids and a chutzpadick to teachers. Students who don't submit homework also have a greater challenge. On the day that accept letters go out, everyone gets in somewhere out of their 3 choices. The principals barter to break up mean girl cliques and they may each take 3 "problem kids" to share the wealth, but the elementary principals manage expectations in advance encouraging parents to submit applications to where they can get in. There was a faux pas last year, but everyone felt terrible and it was resolved very quickly.


A lot of girls in Lakewood who don’t get in really just aren’t getting into first or second choice or a getting into a small newer school which op said is considered inferior.

What happens on Teaneck if a girls gets into her last choice only? Is she given other choices?

I’d also venture to guess that the number of elementary girls graduating in Teaneck stays pretty stable every year. In Lakewood it increases by a few hundred every year. What would happen if there were 300 extra girls moved to town next year? Would all of them still be placed?

(I come from an oot school where everyone got in no matter what - but the number of girls graduating every year stayed pretty predictable. Lakewood is one complicated too fast growing town)
Back to top

amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:43 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
A lot of girls in Lakewood who don’t get in really just aren’t getting into first or second choice or a getting into a small newer school which op said is considered inferior.

What happens on Teaneck if a girls gets into her last choice only? Is she given other choices?

Per amother Black, I am not sure that I am welcome to respond. There are multiple choices and the schools are not that very different, they have slightly different strengths. Furthermore, it is not that one is good and one is bad. The schools all work very hard and they work together to make sure that the kids are content, if not happy.
Back to top

amother
Burlywood


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:46 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Per amother Black, I am not sure that I am welcome to respond. There are multiple choices and the schools are not that very different, they have slightly different strengths. Furthermore, it is not that one is good and one is bad. The schools all work very hard and they work together to make sure that the kids are content, if not happy.


The schools in Lakewood are all excellent and very similar but ppl care and don’t want to be place.

And what if 300 girls moved to town one year and also needed to be placed?
Back to top

amother
Gray


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:54 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Per amother Black, I am not sure that I am welcome to respond. There are multiple choices and the schools are not that very different, they have slightly different strengths. Furthermore, it is not that one is good and one is bad. The schools all work very hard and they work together to make sure that the kids are content, if not happy.

You can answer whatever you want, nobody's forced to read your answer if it bothers them!

The high school scene in Lakewood is really difficult, unless OP wants to send oot, not sure that it will help her though!
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 07 2020, 10:59 pm
Chaya123 wrote:
What does her elementary principal say? Where did you apply? Are you in touch with vaad? Would you try Maon?


It is for next year so we haven’t spoken to anyone yet.
What is maon?
Back to top
Page 1 of 4 1  2  3  4  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How to avoid vaccinating my baby until school
by amother
213 Today at 1:41 am View last post
Which grocery shopping app do you recommend?
by amother
5 Yesterday at 11:35 pm View last post
Some kids don’t thrive in a school setting 33 Yesterday at 10:54 pm View last post
Please recommend a makeup setting spray
by amother
14 Yesterday at 6:44 pm View last post
S/o Top BY school for girl with HFASD
by amother
20 Yesterday at 6:38 pm View last post