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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
amother
OP
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 3:58 pm
My mother lives alone and has had to make pesach herself, shavuos herself and day in and day out, staying home all the time. We go and say hello daily in the garden (we live within walking distance), but it's not the same. She would like to come to us on succos but we don't know how to make it work. How can she come for meals etc and not be exposed to us? We're scared that it isn't safe, cases have risen again etc. We lost my father just over a year ago and don't want to risk anything happening to her. Please respect our paranoia, even if you don't agree on the danger.
We can't isolate before. We work full time, kids are in school etc, that isn't an option.
How else could we celebrate yom tov together where she's safe?
Any creative solutions or ideas are welcome, please!
TIA
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Elfrida
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:02 pm
The succah can be considered outside, where there is much greater air exchange, and risk is thus lower. Sit her at the far end if the table, and ideally put up a plexiglass screen, and it should be doable.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:06 pm
Can you get together to do tashlich together on a weekday,?
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ChanieMommy
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:12 pm
One possibility would be to test the whole family.
Other possibility: send one designated family member to share seudot with her, even through the window, your mother inside, the family member in the garden... or the mother on the patio, the family member further away in the garden...
Sing together.
Ask her when she has her seuda and have your children sing for her and say divrei torah (or even play scenes, if the children are smaller) from the garden.
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Elfrida
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:30 pm
ChanieMommy wrote: |
Ask her when she has her seuda and have your children sing for her and say divrei torah (or even play scenes, if the children are smaller) from the garden. |
Sometimes this only serves to emphasize how alone one is. Entertainment during the meal is not like having the seuda in company.
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ChanieMommy
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 4:36 pm
Elfrida wrote: | Sometimes this only serves to emphasize how alone one is. Entertainment during the meal is not like having the seuda in company. |
Actually we did that for pessach and subsequent shabbatot for a frum old lady who for some reason was locked up in a non-jewish nursing home. No visitor was allowed in, no inhabitant was allowed out...
But strangely she was allowed to accept meals from outside.
so we brought the meal and found a solution with her sitting in the doorway or next to a window pane, and us outside, singing, eating, making freylich...
At least it was better than nothing. She did not feel completely forsaken...
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 5:52 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | My mother lives alone and has had to make pesach herself, shavuos herself and day in and day out, staying home all the time. We go and say hello daily in the garden (we live within walking distance), but it's not the same. She would like to come to us on succos but we don't know how to make it work. How can she come for meals etc and not be exposed to us? We're scared that it isn't safe, cases have risen again etc. We lost my father just over a year ago and don't want to risk anything happening to her. Please respect our paranoia, even if you don't agree on the danger.
We can't isolate before. We work full time, kids are in school etc, that isn't an option.
How else could we celebrate yom tov together where she's safe?
Any creative solutions or ideas are welcome, please!
TIA |
I think you're being reasonable, wherever you live, and some locations much more so.
It's painful that we're reliving Pesach. Maybe you could spend quality time outside.
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ra_mom
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 6:28 pm
Rent an apartment nearby for her. Disinfect it. Have her sleep and use the bathroom there. Have meals outside with tables spread out. Make a sukkah with 3 walls and have a looong table protruding outside with the men at one end under the actual sukkah and the women outside - with her at the end with some space for safety.
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 6:32 pm
We have the same situation. We are keeping our kids home and quarentining so we can spend yom tov together. Luckily the schools here have a zoom option so my kids won't fall behind.
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amother
Teal
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 6:33 pm
Put up a succah by her house and send guests to her. Sit apart inside or ppl with antibodies go if you can rely on that.
Or if in your succah setup a table (like a tv table) just for her a few ft away from everyone else .
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amother
OP
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 7:26 pm
Thanks everyone, some good ideas here, will think it through and see what my mother thinks...
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Ellie7
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Mon, Sep 07 2020, 7:34 pm
Just want to say be careful with the singing option. Singing actually spreads coronavirus much more than regular talking. There was a choir in Washington that practiced social distancing and still basically all got it.
But in general being outside is definitely safer.
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