Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Working Women
Plagiarism Vent



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:09 pm
I opened a business a couple of years ago. (Not a new idea, just the first in my area)
My friend called me a while ago asking if I’d mind if she opens the same one in the other end of town.
I wholeheartedly gave her permission and even helped her to set it up.
What’s bothering me is that I hear back from her customers how she’s the only one or that she was first. I’ve heard both versions. I may be petty but it bothers me even though it doesn’t matter in the long or short run. Mad I just feel betrayed. She doesn’t have to give me credit for helping her in the beginning. But why lie?
I’m in a bad mood now so excuse my vent.
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:21 pm
Its not petty!

Wow that would feel like beyond ingratitude. Yes would feel like a betrayal. Or like being used. Is she a good friend otherwise?

I would want to call her and calmly say you know it is so odd but you've been hearing xyz repeatedly what does she think about this?

Like to address it directly as well as give her a heads up and a chance to address it. Be dklz.

ugh

hugs and hatzlocha
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:29 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Its not petty!

Wow that would feel like beyond ingratitude. Yes would feel like a betrayal. Or like being used. Is she a good friend otherwise?

I would want to call her and calmly say you know it is so odd but you've been hearing xyz repeatedly what does she think about this?

Like to address it directly as well as give her a heads up and a chance to address it. Be dklz.

ugh

hugs and hatzlocha

Thank you so much for the validation.
She’s more of an acquaintance. She probably doesn’t even realize that she says that. She’s the type who tries to impress. So I believe she feels this will make her look coolest.
I feel like I’m being petty. She isn’t taking anything away from me.
I feel it’s immature to call her up. It’s my issue. I don’t discuss this in real life so there is no fight one sided or otherwise. As I said, I’m in a bad mood today. It doesn’t always bother me.
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:44 pm
Of course it bothers you! Claiming to be the only one and/or the first biz of this type in town is dishonest and is, in fact, taking away potential customers from you. Many people might prefer to patronize the one who's been in business longer, or the original rather than the copycat.
Back to top

amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:46 pm
genius wrote:
Thank you so much for the validation.
She’s more of an acquaintance. She probably doesn’t even realize that she says that. She’s the type who tries to impress. So I believe she feels this will make her look coolest.
I feel like I’m being petty. She isn’t taking anything away from me.
I feel it’s immature to call her up. It’s my issue. I don’t discuss this in real life so there is no fight one sided or otherwise. As I said, I’m in a bad mood today. It doesn’t always bother me.


It's not petty. It's human nature.

Wait until you're in a somewhat better mood, and then make the call.


Last edited by amother on Wed, Apr 28 2021, 8:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:46 pm
OK I hear you.

Davening that you are tremendously muzlachat in every way!

You are a real class act!
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:47 pm
zaq wrote:
Of course it bothers you! Claiming to be the only one and/or the first biz of this type in town is dishonest and is, in fact, taking away potential customers from you. Many people might prefer to patronize the one who's been in business longer, or the original rather than the copycat.

Good points. I’ll have to think about that
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:49 pm
imanonymous wrote:
It's not petty. It's human nature.

Wait until you're in a somewhat better mood, and then make the call.

I don’t feel like a call will have any positive effects. She’ll pretend she has no idea what I’m talking about and make me feel like a cent.
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 6:51 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
OK I hear you.

Davening that you are tremendously muzlachat in every way!

You are a real class act!

Amen.
I’m a work in progress. (more like one step forward, two steps back)
Back to top

Odelyah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 7:28 pm
OP how can you be sure she said that? If people come to you and tell you she said that, they are saying rechilus. Maybe they are making assumptions, maybe someone who works for her said something like that in error but she herself never did? I don't think you can be certain because people who gossip like that can't necessarily be trusted for their total accuracy in reporting.
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 7:49 pm
Odelyah wrote:
OP how can you be sure she said that? If people come to you and tell you she said that, they are saying rechilus. Maybe they are making assumptions, maybe someone who works for her said something like that in error but she herself never did? I don't think you can be certain because people who gossip like that can't necessarily be trusted for their total accuracy in reporting.

It was never an official conversation. Nobody approached me with a juicy piece of lh. It would go something like me saying “my business has been around for x number of years” her customer answers “oh yeah?! X said no one else does it/she is the first who did it...”
Her customer didn’t switch over to me and I wasn’t trying to buy her off, it was just a snippet of a an unrelated conversation.
Back to top

graphic613




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 9:09 pm
Yes I agree a call would not solve any problems.
Maybe try to go out for coffee with her and discuss buisness related things and when the time is right kind of put it into the conversation.
Back to top

PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 9:41 pm
Do you advertise in local weeklies/monthlies/have a card/etc.? Maybe you can have a line like "serving the community since..."
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 10:14 pm
graphic613 wrote:
Yes I agree a call would not solve any problems.
Maybe try to go out for coffee with her and discuss buisness related things and when the time is right kind of put it into the conversation.

I don’t think she does it on purpose. I believe it just slips out in the moment because it makes her look better. As I said she will either pretend she has no idea what I’m talking about or really won’t know what I’m talking about regardless of the setting in which the topic is broached.
I’d go out for coffee anyway because I love a good lunch that somebody else prepared. I’d rather go with you.
Back to top

Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 09 2020, 10:15 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Do you advertise in local weeklies/monthlies/have a card/etc.? Maybe you can have a line like "serving the community since..."

Thanks. This is a great idea!
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Coworker vent
by amother
10 Fri, Mar 15 2024, 11:04 am View last post
Medicaid vent
by amother
32 Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:17 pm View last post
Tuition vent
by amother
19 Mon, Feb 12 2024, 7:07 pm View last post
Dryer vent cleaning
by amother
17 Mon, Feb 12 2024, 6:36 pm View last post
Idk where to put this VENT/ school
by amother
12 Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:04 am View last post