Any way to avoid yichud?

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amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:11 pm

I live in a basement apartment. We've had a cleaning lady once a week for a while. In the past, since my husband and I weren't home, there was no yichud issue. She was very trustworthy so I wasn't concerned.

Over the summer, my husband started a remote job, so he's home all day. We got a new cleaning lady, but since I was home, it wasn't an issue of yichud.

However, now that I'm not home, it's going to be a problem. I really need the cleaning help. There is no one home upstairs throughout the day.

I don't want the new cleaning lady home without one of us home, either, since I don't trust her not to steal. She said she's not available to start at a time when I'd be home from work (only about an hour and a half before).

Is there any way to circumvent the yichud issue?

doctorima

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:15 pm

It's a question from your LOR, but as I recall learning it, you should be able to leave the door to the outside open/ajar, or give a key to a neighbor, and arrange to have them pop in unannounced at random times.

pause

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:15 pm

Ask your LOR.

amother

Plum

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:16 pm

Yes, call your rav for best way to do this.

Java

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:17 pm

If it's a basement apartment then depending on where the entrance is, leaving the door open may not be good enough. it needs to be a "reshus rabim" IIRC.
Giving a neighbor the key might work though. AYLOR

Elfrida

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:17 pm

It's not ideal, but leaving g the front door open and putting in something to prevent it closing would cover you according to a lot of opinions.

There are also views that hold that if you are in the same city and could, theoretically, walk in at any moment, that constitutes a shomer.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:19 pm

Elfrida wrote:

the first part- depends where the entrance is
second- this definitely works the other way around but I'm not sure if it works in this direction

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:23 pm

I already spoke to my Rav previously. He said that leaving the door open (even wide open) is not enough since there's no chance of anyone coming in and the entrance is in the back of the house. We don't have a neighbor to whom we can give the key to come in, or at least not one that we know of.

amother

Yellow

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:27 pm

Putting everything else aside....why do you say you do not trust her and feel she may “steal.” What makes you feel that she will do something like that? If you feel this way, why do you even continue to employ her?

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:28 pm

Elfrida wrote:

It would be at least an hour and a half.

Also, according to many opinion, ishto meshamroso only works if the wife ran around the corner and will be back any second. Ba'ala b'ir is holds a little more weight than ishto meshamroso.

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:30 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

She works for my mother, too, and my mother had an incident with her this week where she wasn't sure... there was something open that was a little suspicious.

Honestly, I'm not that comfortable with her, but I feel like I have no choice. I couldn't find another cleaning lady after my previous one told me that she couldn't come due to COVID.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:31 pm

Look for a cleaning man!

ChanieMommy

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think the yichud issue is solved as soon as there is the possibility that you or the children or someone might pop in any minute...

Doesn't have to happen... just to be possible...

you could also give a key to a neighbour or to a family member nearby, so that they really might pop in from time to time...

Last edited by ChanieMommy on Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:33 pm

ChanieMommy wrote:

I think the yichud issue is solved as soon as there is the possibility that you or the children or someonee might pop in any minute...

Doesn't have to happen... just to be possible...

My kids are very little, too little to be shomrim. If she came at 1:30, the earliest time I'd be home is 3. That leaves an hour and a half of an issue.

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:33 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Look for a cleaning man!

Who takes between $12-15 an hour?

Any suggestions? I'm in Flatbush.

Wink

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:35 pm

why don't you have your husband find somewhere else to work for that hour and tell the cleaning lady that you or him might pop in?

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:39 pm

Leave the door unlocked or open

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 3:03 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

why don't you have your husband find somewhere else to work for that hour and tell the cleaning lady that you or him might pop in?

My husband really doesn't want to do it, for various reasons.

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 3:04 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

Leave the door unlocked or open

As I said before, my Rav told me that this is not sufficient because we live in a basement in the back of the house and there is really no possibility that anyone would walk in.

shmosmom

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 3:22 pm

Just FYI, leaving a cleaning lady alone (or any worker) is not just about trust not to steal, it's also about kashrus. For example, using the microwave to warm up food they brought along.

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