Any way to avoid yichud?

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:32 pm

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

Just FYI, leaving a cleaning lady alone (or any worker) is not just about trust not to steal, it's also about kashrus. For example, using the microwave to warm up food they brought along.

I forgot about that. We had asked the Rav about it with my previous cleaning lady, and he told me what to do, but I forgot to ask again about this one. She has never been alone in our apartment before.

amother

Mint

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:40 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Look for a cleaning man!

My cleaning man was the only one I ever had who stole Sad

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:50 pm

Kumphort wrote:

Would a web cam or two suffice?

I'm not sure how that works halachically, but I wouldn't be so comfortable with it in general.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:06 pm

Someone in my neighborhood offers coffee to all his friends whenever he has yichud issue. At any time a guy can walk through his door for coffee.

octopus

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:12 pm

Many cleaning women do not want to work with just the husband home even if the door is open. Would you want to work like that???

Cpg

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm not sure how that works halachically, but I wouldn't be so comfortable with it in general.

Interesting, why not? That was my idea too lol, just have hubby record himself while she's there. You might not even have to ever look at it, maybe just having it available would be enough. But I guess you'd have to ask the rav to be sure.

Maybe a neighborhood kid would be willing to come over during that time, if giving your neighbor the key isn't enough?

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:52 pm

octopus wrote:

Many cleaning women do not want to work with just the husband home even if the door is open. Would you want to work like that???

No, but I don't get the sense that she would care.

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:53 pm

amother [ Maroon ] wrote:

Someone in my neighborhood offers coffee to all his friends whenever he has yichud issue. At any time a guy can walk through his door for coffee.

I'm not sure that's such a good idea during a pandemic, but it's ingenious in general!

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:53 pm

Cpg wrote:

Oh, just record him? I thought that wasn't enough... Let me ask the Rav.

Cpg wrote:

Maybe a neighborhood kid would be willing to come over during that time, if giving your neighbor the key isn't enough?

I imagine they're in school at that time!

Goldie613

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:46 am

Is there a family member who can come by then? Maybe your husband's sister or mom?

What about a chavrusa learning with him then? Either at the apt or via zoom (if that counts)?

What about if your husband is working in the doorway of the house or just outside of it ,with the door open? That way he's not inside but she's still being watched?

Cpg

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:10 am

I don't know, maybe, worth the ask! You can also just explain to him the situation and say you're having trouble coming up with a workable solution, maybe he has another idea.

Maybe there's a college kid who is home at that time?

I didn't know there were so many opinions on this, when I used to work in my rebbitzen's house she used to tell me just to leave the door unlocked if she wasn't home. But they had a lot of kids coming in and out BH!

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 7:30 am

Goldie613 wrote:

None of these three are viable, unfortunately.

amother

Jade

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 7:33 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

None of these three are viable, unfortunately.

This seems to be the answer to all suggestions here. I think your DH should ask a rav what to do.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 7:34 am

Cpg wrote:

I am going to ask.

Most people do not really know hilchos yichud and just assume that "leaving the door unlocked" is enough. It's not about many opinions - it's actually about outright issur in many cases.

In a daytime situation when people are coming in and out an unlocked door is sufficient, but not in many other situations.

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 7:37 am

doctorima wrote:

It's a question from your LOR, but as I recall learning it, you should be able to leave the door to the outside open/ajar, or give a key to a neighbor, and arrange to have them pop in unannounced at random times.

My husband had this job once, well a friend gave him this job over his 8 year old son, he popped up two times randomly in the house.

amother

Silver

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:10 am

You wrote in a post that you have the same cleaning lady as your mother. Perhaps your mom lives in the same town and you can tell her to pop in unannounced.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:39 am

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

You wrote in a post that you have the same cleaning lady as your mother. Perhaps your mom lives in the same town and you can tell her to pop in unannounced.

My mom works in the same job that I do and gets out later than I do.

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:40 am

Raisin wrote:

What a about a webcam? I know these are used in kashrus situations.

Does a webcam just on my husband suffice or would I need one to track her, as well? I don't want to put cameras all over my apartment, it creeps me out... but just one on my husband would be doable. I need to ask my Rav.