Carpool bullying | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

Carpool bullying

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amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 10:21 am

how to deal with a kid that is constantly bullying my son in carpool? My son is a little more on the sensitive side so I guess that makes him an easy target but what can I do to help him without turning him into a tough guy?

I'm going to try to talk to the parents over the weekend but I am not hopeful it will help. They have seen the bullying happen and while they try to talk to their kid he's 4 and you can't always force them to behave the way you want. So I am more looking for ways to help my son without relying on the other kid changing. Is my only option to pull out of the carpool and drive him every day?

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 10:48 am

If he’s actually being bullied every day on the way to and from school and the parents won’t do anything about it I would absolutely withdraw from the carpool. He is 4, too little to understand most things you could do to help. It’s not fair that he should go through that bc carpool is more convenient

amother

Beige

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 10:55 am

I’m not an expert at bullying but I would think now would be a good time to have him learn skills etc while he is in a small carpool with a parent present who can sort of listen in and advise if he is in real danger. You can speak to the other parents about it and have them help. One day he will be on a school bus or other situation without a parent present and the skills he learned will help him for life.

The only exception to this is if he is already in real danger. Then you need to pull out NOW

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 11:04 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Hes not in danger. Just being teased and it definitely makes him sad.

Any idea how to teach him skills?

amother

Teal

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 11:09 am

Skills of course.
But if an adult is present and doesn't reign in the other child, I think that is not a dynamic you want to have.
That would make the adult a bystander, would it not?

I have older kids, so perhaps it is different, but when I heard kids ganging up on my son, IN MY CAR, I decided that I would avoid carpooling with them in the future.
It is true that you can't run away from a bully, but I didn't see it as the right thing to hear it in my car and not get involved, and I'd rather not have to - it is a weird position to be in.
Turned out we locked down shortly after I became aware of the bullying.
And guess what? We have a different carpool now.

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