Husband sleeping in sukka

saybesser

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 1:24 pm

Does your husband sleep in the sukka?
Im married without kids is it weird if he sleeps in the sukka?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 1:37 pm

This is something that you need to talk to your husband about. Every couple/family will have their own ideas and whatever they do works (or sometimes doesnt) for them.

Growing up my father never did and my husband never did. But I know other men in my family that do.

Its very individual to each couple and their needs/desires.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 1:43 pm

It's a very common custom. My uncle and his boys generally sleep in the sukkah unless it's raining, snowing, etc. In comparison, my husband would never even think about sleeping in a sukkah! He says sleep brings a form of tumah and cv"s he should bring tumah into a sukkah.

It's definitely not a must and if your DH wants to do it and you don't want him to do it, have him speak to his rav. Is this your first year of marriage?

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 1:50 pm

You'll get a variety of answers here, and coming from women, many will say he shouldn't leave you alone. But this is a halachic question, and our LOR made it clear that it's his mitzvah to sleep in the sukkah, which I gladly let him do. And if the weather's good, I join him!

amother

Papaya

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 1:52 pm

When I was newly married I slept out there with him Very Happy

amother

Plum

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 2:03 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

When I was newly married I slept out there with him Very Happy

This.

With 4 kids, age 3-10, we still do one night of the whole family sleeping in the sukkah. We choose a night with the best weather, spread mattresses on the floor and sleep camping style.

amother

Teal

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 2:38 pm

As a child we used to move in to my grandparents for Sukkos, and my father would sleep in the sukkah most nights because my zaidy did and my father felt pressured into it. Once we stopped going to my grandparents my father slept in the sukkah one night over sukkos, so as not to break the tradition of what he'd been doing for years. My husband grew up in Canada and said he never heard of it there, possibly because it wasn't his family minhag, possibly because it was too cold.

Just One

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 2:53 pm

It's a matter of minhag so as mentioned above it's something to discuss with your rav.
It ties into the halachic and kabalistic meaning of sukkah and someach ishto.
Growing up chassidish it was a must in my family (although I have heard of exceptions for shana rishona). My husband being chabad will never sleep in the sukkah for kabalistic reasons but is extremely strict about eating in the sukkah even in midst of a hurricane LOL

BadTichelDay

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 2:54 pm

We do it like this: Dh sleeps in the sukkah.The (still small) kids get at least one whole night there, too, and on the other evenings are allowed to fall asleep there and then get carried to bed. I have never slept a night in the sukkah and I'm not planning on it.
Dh is also super-makpid on only eating in the sukkah. I am lenient on snacks and small things outside but try to eat all proper meals in it.

amother

Silver

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:32 pm

It’s not a custom or minhag, It’s actually pretty much black and white Halacha. Those that don’t sleep rely on a variety of loopholes. Such as too cold or not being able to sleep with their spouse.

Just One

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:36 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

According to your rav maybe. There are different interpretations.

amother

Silver

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:43 pm

Just One wrote:

According to your rav maybe. There are different interpretations.

Have to figure out how to copy and paste but like I said it’s pretty black and white in Shulchan Aruch. The “interpretations” you refer to are otherwise known as loopholes..

amother

Plum

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:49 pm

Sorry Chabad b'davka doesn't sleep in sukkah so you can't say it's outright halacha.

Just One

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:50 pm

The mishna berurah, shulchan aruvh harav and other contemporary ashkenazic poskim don't always concur with the shulchan aruch. That doesn't mean they are applying "loopholes".
Also in the case of sukkah there is a kabalistic aspect to not sleeping in the sukkah

amother

Silver

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:52 pm

Ok, I mastered the copy and paste Smile

אוכלים ושותים וישנים בסוכה כל שבעה בין ביום בין בלילה ואין ישנים חוץ לסוכה אפי' שינת עראי
https://www.sefaria.org/Shulch.....ng=bi

Just One

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:55 pm

Thanks for the source 👍
For ashkenazim the shulchan aruch is not always the definitive psak

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:23 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Ok, I mastered the copy and paste Smile

The next seif says that if one is uncomfortable to sleep in the suka, one is allowed to not sleep in the suka, so while it may be halacha, it also says, straight out, that there are reasons not to as well.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:31 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

So thats a heter not to. But sleeping is halacha, not a chumra or a minhag.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:46 pm

I grew up sleeping in the sukkah. It was an exciting adventure. DH has no interest and hates bugs.

It's our first sukkos married. Always thought a DH would be happy to have a wife who wanted to be in the sukkah.

He told me I can sleep there alone if I want. Confused

amother

Magenta

Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:59 pm

DH is makpid to sleep in the succa. He says its even more mehudar if I join him. So I do. (unless its freeeeezing). No kids allowed though Wink

. I can easliy hear the kids from where our succa is.