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Does your husband know how to sing?
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:02 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
My husband sings and is musical and so are my boys, but nobody sings at the Shabbos table. My DH whispers zemiros to himself and it always drove me crazy because my father and brothers all sing in loud booming voices and to me that’s what made the Shabbos table so special. When we were in quarantine in March/April time all of a sudden my DH and boys sang at the table and it was absolutely beautiful. But they already stopped.


Same . I have such good memories from my fathers zmires shabbos , I keep reminding my husband that its important for me so "sometimes " he will sing to make me happy. But no definitely doesnt have it in him but he has other good qualities.
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Reality




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:06 pm
Yes. He is a musician and loves to sing. Most of our kids join in. Some of our kids have good voices and love to do harmony with my husband. I usually join. I have an ok voice and enjoy singing.
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amother




Lime
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:41 pm
He thinks he does and it's ok generally but when we have guests he starts doing "harmony" and it's so awful and so so LOUD Can't Believe It
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:43 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Mine doesn’t.
He chants the entire zemiros with no melody. I hate that I was born musically inclined
*scream*


Me too! It’s very hard! He doesn’t understand why I don’t want to sing with him-he likes hearing me sing but I can’t stand singing with someone who’s off key so...
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:47 pm
Yes Bh, he sings like a bird and I cluck along like a chicken 🐔 Can't Believe It
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Mothers




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:50 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Mine doesn’t.
He chants the entire zemiros with no melody. I hate that I was born musically inclined
*scream*


Why don’t you sing, then (and he can chant along with you). That way you can listen to yourself and not him. . . Will only work if you don’t have (male) guests, but if you do, maybe they can drown him out and you can enjoy . . .
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:15 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Yes and he knows a lot of zmirot and different melodies for them. His voice isn't great, bit scratchy, but at least he sings everything straight and spot on.


Yes, same exact here.

Some of my children have gorgeous voices, but all of them could at least carry a tune including my SILs.

OP, I really symathize. To me hearing someone singing off tune is worse than fingernails on a board.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:38 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Me too! It’s very hard! He doesn’t understand why I don’t want to sing with him-he likes hearing me sing but I can’t stand singing with someone who’s off key so...


Yeah I get annoyed lol

I sound like a nightmare wife 🙈
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ChanieMommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:44 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Me too! It’s very hard! He doesn’t understand why I don’t want to sing with him-he likes hearing me sing but I can’t stand singing with someone who’s off key so...


This takes some sensitivity and patience, but you can teach your husband to sing in tune, especially when it's always the same songs...
Start with zmirot that don't jump around too much, that use small intervals,that go along the scales... that's easier...
Vary your volume (often people who are off tune sing too loud, all the time)
Tell him to put a finger in his ear, so that he hears himself louder...
Tell him to start humming, without the text, so that he can concentrate fully on the melody
Try to sing exactly like him, not an octave higher...
If he can't find the first note, tell him to look for it, to go humming up and down, till he hits it...

Don't just accept this state of affairs. Do something...
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amother




Magenta
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:48 pm
Soso. He doesn’t have a bad voice but he doesn’t exactly sing well.
He studied a musical instrument for a while as a kid and then another in adulthood so he should know music.
I think he can carry a tune but for kiddush and stuff he sort of sing songs, occasionally trying to add a passage from a “real” nusach which is somehow never successful.
I don’t think he really likes singing, at least he never walks around the house singing or humming. I don’t even hear him singing in the shower. He likes listening to music.
I’m the opposite, love to sing, can walk around all day singing the same thing over and over even as my mind is occupied elsewhere and the dear man never says a word. If our places were switched I’d be begging him to sing something else for the lovvamike esp since I’m sure I go off now and then, either because I’ve forgotten exactly how it goes or because I can’t hear myself or because I never learned it right in the first place.
My fantasy of dh and me singing duets into the sunset remains a fantasy.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:57 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Yeah I get annoyed lol

I sound like a nightmare wife 🙈


I used to get annoyed when I was trying to sing with him so that’s why I stopped so I don’t get annoyed. I totally get you!
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 6:42 pm
Yes BH we both sing beautifully. My husband has many beautiful songs he composed and I write song lyrics. It gets us through a lot of tough times. I play piano too. We actually connected over our shared music love when we first met. BH our kids were all blessed musically as well.
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HeartyAppetite




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 7:00 pm
It’s weird because my husband plays an instrument and has a good ear for music (so do I). Yet when he sings he is off pitch, and he doesn’t notice it. He thinks he sings beautifully and I literally cringe.
The most annoying is when he sings along with a CD that’s going, and that’s when it’s the most noticeable. And he’s asked me a few times, so I sing nice? And I never had the heart to tell him. I think I probably shouldn’t.
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ChanieMommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 7:14 pm
HeartyAppetite wrote:
It’s weird because my husband plays an instrument and has a good ear for music (so do I). Yet when he sings he is off pitch, and he doesn’t notice it. He thinks he sings beautifully and I literally cringe.
The most annoying is when he sings along with a CD that’s going, and that’s when it’s the most noticeable. And he’s asked me a few times, so I sing nice? And I never had the heart to tell him. I think I probably shouldn’t.

He has to learn to hear himself...
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 7:20 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Mine doesn’t.
He chants the entire zemiros with no melody. I hate that I was born musically inclined
*scream*


Oh gosh, I think this is a good place to tell you wives, please do the right thing if your dh is one of those who thinks he has a great voice and davens for the amud in shul but his voice is really annoying— please tell him the truth gently but tell him the truth!He’s making a fool of himself, he’s his only fan and he’s causing us to not to be able to daven with kavana!
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 7:22 pm
Dh sings beautiful bh and loves to sing zemiros and other songs. My 2 bucherim join in ( one also sings very nice ) and I really enjoy it .

Whenever we go to my in laws or anywhere everyone makes dh crazy to sing ( btw he doesn't think he sings nice )
We tried encouraging him to get into a choir but he doesn't want to ( talk about low self esteem or just plain shy to perform in front of a crowd)
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 9:20 pm
We're the opposite. I enjoy singing but I know I'm tone deaf. Dh sings nicely and he's too polite to tell me I'm off but if I join him in zmiros I notice he tries to out-sing me in volume. Usually I spare him and keep quiet. Some of our kids take after him, some take after me Smile
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lovepinterest




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 9:39 pm
NO. My dh has absolutely no sense of notes/tunes/rhythm at all. He can’t even sing happy birthday or hashem is here hashem is there on tune. It drives me MAD. But I never say anything and let it fly by. He is a wonderful husband. Usually lol. My son told him recently that he ruins the songs cuz it’s not in tune. I was dying in the kitchen. I know how to sing in key. And have been told I have a good voice. So it’s definitely frustrating at times to hear a beautiful song being butchered. Oh well. I’m glad I deal with this problem and not something worse.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 10:49 pm
lovepinterest wrote:
NO. My dh has absolutely no sense of notes/tunes/rhythm at all. He can’t even sing happy birthday or hashem is here hashem is there on tune. It drives me MAD. But I never say anything and let it fly by. He is a wonderful husband. Usually lol. My son told him recently that he ruins the songs cuz it’s not in tune. I was dying in the kitchen. I know how to sing in key. And have been told I have a good voice. So it’s definitely frustrating at times to hear a beautiful song being butchered. Oh well. I’m glad I deal with this problem and not something worse.


So does mine and shabbos I was NOOOOOT having it. Haha.

I said “would you like to learn how to sing?”
He’s like “nah I’d rather learn Torah”

okay but like AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lol your son is very blunt haha he will get far in life! Lots of nachas
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honeymoon




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 11:21 pm
Yes. We both do. I come from a very musical family and was thrilled when I realized dh sings beautifully too. His rhythm wasnt great when we got married, but over time he learned how to count beats etc. and mastered the right rhythm. Smile He has a beautiful voice and davens for the amud rosh hashana, yom kippur and other special days.. he's a wonderful husband in all areas. His singing is the icing on the cake. Smile
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