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Safe space for Israeli imamothers (or anyone in lockdown)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 8:24 pm
I just heard that Israel is going into lockdown starting Friday.

I'm from the USA and bh we are not in lockdown here now but I have full sympathy for you all. I can't imagine going through that again.

I started this thread as a safe space for anyone who needs to vent about the lockdown (or any restrictions due do to the virus even if not in full lockdown) for any reason - being home alone and being lonely, having a hard time with their kids at home all day or with dh being home, no cleaning help or babysitter, missing family over yom tov, loss of parnasa....

Rules here are no invaliding responses such as - how can you complain about no cleaning help or keeping your kids home when people are dying, or if you can't handle your kids why did you have them to begin with, or if your old enough to be married then your old enough to be home and make yom tov on your own so stop feeling bad for yourself, how can you complain about not being able to work - at least you are healthy, there are people sick in the hospital and so forth....

I'm not downplaying the severity of the situation at all, but just like it's ok to stay ouch when you stub your toe - even when someone else broke their foot which hurts alot more, it's ok to complain about the smaller things during a lockdown even though there are people going through much worse. I think in we all know how bad things are, and I think most people are ok with a lockdown (as long as it's not just political) and are happy to do their part, just somtimes people could use a chance to vent and get some sympathy and encouragement without being made to feel guilty about it
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 9:16 pm
Rebbetzin (Heller) Gottlieb had a parenting q and a on Naaleh.com today. I don't know if it'll be available on the site. She was very matter of fact and answered a question about having to be so intensely together with the kids, and cooking all day, by saying that until the 1970s it was pretty common. And kids didn't start school till 5 (I'd say 4 depending on deadlines).
It's not awful. It is stressful and she suggested socializing via zoom, listening to shiurim. (Though I'd ask a follow up question: what if al the phones are in use by students Twisted Evil )

I think the biggest takeaway is, we're all in this together. (Though I'm past the kids in school stage.)
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 10:46 pm
BTW, we Israeli imamothers have our own private forum (not sure if that qualifies as a "safe space").
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Sun, Sep 13 2020, 11:09 pm
I wouldn’t mind some sympathy from the rest of the world. My kids haven’t had school since the first day (when I was called to get them early). Two other last-minute surprise partial days. I did fine with and even enjoyed the first lockdown, but have not had a chance to take care of myself or basic infrastructure in my house for months... Not to mention work. I was really looking forward to resuming a normal routine and so were my kids. It seems harder this time the second time around. Maybe because the rest of the world (Israel too) seems to be going on as normal.

Stores are still going to be open for a few more days and I am desperate to shop for myself but I can’t really with all my kids home.

Iy”H I’m due soon. Maybe after the baby’s born I’ll finally have a minute to myself? Ha!

Okay, there’s my pity party. Please be kind. Yes, I am very happy and grateful I have kids!
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:27 am
I prefer our Life in Israel forum, this is accessible to everyone.
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:36 am
essie14 wrote:
I prefer our Life in Israel forum, this is accessible to everyone.

Agreed, but thank you anyways, OP. It was very nice of you to think of us. Heart
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:39 am
essie14 wrote:
I prefer our Life in Israel forum, this is accessible to everyone.
Exactly. Its much more intimate and we can air our dirty laundry there Wink if we need to.
But thanks OP for thinking of us.
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Jewishmom8




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:43 am
such a nice idea.
Thank you.
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Raisin




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:46 am
essie14 wrote:
I prefer our Life in Israel forum, this is accessible to everyone.


I think there are other people in Lockdown not in Israel. (Australia?)

Anyway good luck all.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 5:47 am
essie14 wrote:
I prefer our Life in Israel forum, this is accessible to everyone.


Yes. I see new threads suddenly popping up on topics that we have been discussing for weeks, and wonder what is going on. Then I realize that someone from chutz l'aretz has posted it. When we talk to other Israelis, we don't have to explain it all.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 6:25 am
I hadn't had depression since my teens but the April rules and lockdown spurred a deep depression in me that got a little better in July. Already today just hearing of the lockdown I haven't been able to get out of bed and function, I seriously want to die. I feel sorry for my kids.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 8:58 am
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
I hadn't had depression since my teens but the April rules and lockdown spurred a deep depression in me that got a little better in July. Already today just hearing of the lockdown I haven't been able to get out of bed and function, I seriously want to die. I feel sorry for my kids.

Hey.
Look at it this way:

We're not confined to *100m* of our homes like were were the first time around. Most of us have some sort of park or green area or play area within 1/2 kilometer of our homes. We should be okay.

And grocery stores are open. How about baking cookies with the kids? Or jumping rope to get exercise? Think of all the things we can do -- there's actually quite a lot.

All crises end eventually. It'll be okay. Smile
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 9:01 am
DrMom wrote:
Hey.
Look at it this way:

We're not confined to *100m* of our homes like were were the first time around. Most of us have some sort of park or green area or play area within 1/2 kilometer of our homes. We should be okay.

And grocery stores are open. How about baking cookies with the kids? Or jumping rope to get exercise? Think of all the things we can do -- there's actually quite a lot.

All crises end eventually. It'll be okay. Smile

I read "or jumping off the roof" and then my brain's auto-correct fixed it to "or jumping on the roof."

They're already talking about a third lockdown, if the public doesn't change its behavior. Kululuuuuuu!!! TMI
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 9:04 am
banana123 wrote:
I read "or jumping off the roof" and then my brain's auto-correct fixed it to "or jumping on the roof."

They're already talking about a third lockdown, if the public doesn't change its behavior. Kululuuuuuu!!! TMI

Hmmm... rappelling classes? Interesting idea for a lockdown activity...
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 9:49 am
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
I hadn't had depression since my teens but the April rules and lockdown spurred a deep depression in me that got a little better in July. Already today just hearing of the lockdown I haven't been able to get out of bed and function, I seriously want to die. I feel sorry for my kids.


Hug I get that. I would feel the same if we had another lockdown. What helped me during the last one more than any advice, was hearing how I wasn't alone/crazy for feeling the way I did. Know that there are lots of others feeling the way you do. Take it hour to hour or minute to minute if you have to. You are not alone.

If there's anything you can do to make it a little easier for yourself, please do (even though the way you feel now may make you feel like you don't deserve it) - teletherapy, medication, letting your kids watch videos so you have a break (Torah treasures is great - you know your kids are only watching Jewish content and better to spend a few days weaning them off electronics after the lockdown if it can help you and your kids get through this) , help with the kids (if your family is low risk and you can find someone low risk) and so forth.....
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 9:58 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
I wouldn’t mind some sympathy from the rest of the world. My kids haven’t had school since the first day (when I was called to get them early). Two other last-minute surprise partial days. I did fine with and even enjoyed the first lockdown, but have not had a chance to take care of myself or basic infrastructure in my house for months... Not to mention work. I was really looking forward to resuming a normal routine and so were my kids. It seems harder this time the second time around. Maybe because the rest of the world (Israel too) seems to be going on as normal.

Stores are still going to be open for a few more days and I am desperate to shop for myself but I can’t really with all my kids home.

Iy”H I’m due soon. Maybe after the baby’s born I’ll finally have a minute to myself? Ha!

Okay, there’s my pity party. Please be kind. Yes, I am very happy and grateful I have kids!


Wow, that sounds really hard Hug. Finally, everything was starting to return to normal, and then you didn't even have one full day of school! The kids must be so disappointed! and I can imagine you had in mind to use this time to take care of a lot of things before the baby and now it got much more complicated with all the kids home Sad Living without routine for so long is really hard.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:08 am
DrMom wrote:
BTW, we Israeli imamothers have our own private forum (not sure if that qualifies as a "safe space").


That's true, I didnt think of that.

I think everyone all over can relate to the lockdown, as not to long ago we were on lockdown as well, but I can get wanting to discuss this with those going through it at the same time, in the same place. Just know we are all thinking of you Hug
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imasoftov




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:35 am
Jumping off the roof should be fine, we don't have any buildings in Israel that are 500 meters high, the largest is 238.5 m.
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That's true, I didnt think of that.

I think everyone all over can relate to the lockdown, as not to long ago we were on lockdown as well, but I can get wanting to discuss this with those going through it at the same time, in the same place. Just know we are all thinking of you Hug


Everyone went through some form of lockdown but the lockdown played out differently and had different regulations in every country.

Especially when it comes to things like minyanim, no other government issues regulations for holding minyanim, and coming up soon, how to hold arba minim markets and sukkah sales.

And I don't think any of the other countries represented here had a 500 metre limit to deal with.
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 7:43 pm
essie14 wrote:
I prefer our Life in Israel forum, this is accessible to everyone.


I think it's a shame though that those out of Israel don't get a glimpse into what's going on here.

Yes, we're heading into lockdown, but remember that hardly anyone here caught it in March. So it's taken us half a year to reach the same place where other countries were at a couple of weeks. And the reason is because of the strict quarantine measures. (And if everyone would be strict on wearing masks etc. then we likely wouldn't even have gotten to this point either.)

It would be good for them to see the threads titled 'Help, my 5 yr old has to go into bidud, what do we do' etc. to realize that this isn't a joke. To realize that here in Israel, entire families are quarantining for 2 weeks because a kid in one of their children's classes tested positive. I literally can't believe that schools in NY are hiding it from parents when students test positive. And even more amazed that the authorities aren't on top of it. Positive results should mean automatic quarantine for that class. No questions asked.
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