Home

Is it inappropriate for a man to hold a door for a woman?
Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Poll

Is it inappropriate for a man to hold open a door for a woman other than his wife?
It is inappropriate
 3%  [ 10 ]
It is the right thing to do
 96%  [ 290 ]
Total Votes : 300


amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:09 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
My husband told me some men are makpid not to walk behind women for tznius purposes.

This could be why some men don't hold doors open for women, because they would end up walking behind them.

I am not saying this applies to everyone and I do think it is rude to let a door slam in anyone's face. Just a possible explanation.


Seriously?
Or just a speculation?
Back to top

lilies




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:11 pm
ChanieMommy wrote:
Did you know that "Ladies first" does not apply when going up stairs, for fear the man might get an indecent glimpse when following the Lady up the stairs?


What if the staircase is right past the door where ladies first does apply?
Hmm.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:12 pm
ShishKabob wrote:
True, just like women are supposed to go behind the men, not in front of them. Think Yosef Hatzaddik, making sure to go in front of his mother Rochel when they met Eisav. He got a lot of schar for that.


But that was to defend her... Or rather to hide her from Esav so that he may not see and desire her...
I'm not supposing you are supposing it even came to anyone's mind Yossef could have untznius thoughts about his own mother?
How perveted would that be?
Back to top

lilies




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
But that was to defend her... Or rather to hide her from Esav so that he may not see and desire her...
I'm not supposing you are supposing it even came to anyone's mind Yossef could have untznius thoughts about his own mother?
How perveted would that be?


Wait, what? How'd you get to this?
Back to top

amother




Ecru
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Seriously?
Or just a speculation?


Yes. Completely serious. I have noticed men quickly walking around me on the street and I think it is because of this.
Back to top

ShishKabob




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:19 pm
lilies wrote:
Wait, what? How'd you get to this?
this, please......
Back to top

malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:32 pm
ShishKabob wrote:
True, just like women are supposed to go behind the men, not in front of them. Think Yosef Hatzaddik, making sure to go in front of his mother Rochel when they met Eisav. He got a lot of schar for that.


He went in front of her to hide her from Eisav, not for Tzniyus reasons. There are other examples that teach us that men should not walk behind women.
Back to top

ShishKabob




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:01 pm
malki2 wrote:
He went in front of her to hide her from Eisav, not for Tzniyus reasons. There are other examples that teach us that men should not walk behind women.
This is in the geder of tznius I believe.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:01 pm
open door, wait a bit
Back to top

ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:31 pm
Here we go again. Same threads over and over again with different wording.
So yes, a man should hold the door for a woman, greet her gut Shabbos, and sit near her on the bus. Or she can take him in her car for a hitch.
P.s. I hold the door open whenever anyone is within a few feet of distance behind me, including a dog. And I never appreciate a door slammed in front of my nose, even when I’m without packages or a carriage. Basic common sense and menchlichkiet is always appropriate.
Back to top

lilies




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:36 pm
If a man is hungry outside a restaurant, maybe invite him in to share your meal too then.
Is there an end to the madness?
Back to top

ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:12 pm
lilies wrote:
If a man is hungry outside a restaurant, maybe invite him in to share your meal too then.
Is there an end to the madness?

You can give him tzedaka so he can buy himself.
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:14 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
Yes. Completely serious. I have noticed men quickly walking around me on the street and I think it is because of this.


maybe they're in a hurry and you're a slow-moving vehicle.
Back to top

lilies




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:19 pm
ExtraCredit wrote:
You can give him tzedaka so he can buy himself.


You can do the same for a hitch-hiker.
You can also pay for a butleress for every woman who needs a door opened or her packages are too heavy. LOL
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:19 pm
ShishKabob wrote:
This is in the geder of tznius I believe.


But not because he didn't want to see his mother's shape in front of him. He was quite properly protecting his mother from his uncle's lecherous gaze. It had nothing to do with Rachel's tznius vis a vis Yoseph himself and has nothing to do with walking down the street in front of or behind random men.
Back to top

amother




Ecru
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:30 pm
zaq wrote:
maybe they're in a hurry and you're a slow-moving vehicle.


Not if they walk directly in front of me at the same speed.
Back to top

ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:31 pm
lilies wrote:
You can do the same for a hitch-hiker.
You can also pay for a butleress for every woman who needs a door opened or her packages are too heavy. LOL

Hmm I get your point.
I guess basic decency is a must, the rest is already לפנים משורת הדין
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:35 pm
ShishKabob wrote:
this, please......


Shishkabob posted that we learn that women should walk behind men from the fact that Yoseph stepped in front of rachel when yaakov lined up his family to greet eisav. That is a looooong stretch. It's obvious that yoseph was protecting his mother, not protecting himself from lascivious thoughts. How old could yoseph even have been at that point? He was all of 17 when he was sold, so he was considerably younger than that.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:46 pm
ShishKabob wrote:
This is in the geder of tznius I believe.


But that's not Yosef being Tzanua by not standing behind his mother.
It is Yossef standing in front of his mother to protect her from untzniusdig desires on Esav's part...

Not the same thing...
Back to top

amother




Lime
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:47 pm
I think it's important to note that Esav was not trustworthy. It wasn't just about his thoughts.
Back to top
Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 3 of 5 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Hotel Door on Shabbos
by amother
16 Sat, Nov 28 2020, 1:52 pm View last post
Pregnant woman and animals - source?
by amother
8 Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:38 am View last post
Can't hold target heart rate but in great shape
by amother
2 Sun, Nov 15 2020, 12:20 am View last post
Skirts for an overweight 5ft tall woman
by amother
11 Sat, Nov 14 2020, 6:49 pm View last post
Behind door shelf?
by amother
10 Wed, Oct 28 2020, 3:08 pm View last post