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Is it inappropriate for a man to hold a door for a woman?
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Poll

Is it inappropriate for a man to hold open a door for a woman other than his wife?
It is inappropriate
 3%  [ 10 ]
It is the right thing to do
 96%  [ 290 ]
Total Votes : 300


amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:48 pm
lilies wrote:
You can do the same for a hitch-hiker.
You can also pay for a butleress for every woman who needs a door opened or her packages are too heavy. LOL


That made me laugh!
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ChanieMommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 2:50 pm
lilies wrote:
Wait, what? How'd you get to this?

Because she said it was a tznius issue...

Suppose we agree it was not... (a tzniut issue between Yossef and his mother, but rather to protect Rachel from Esav's gaze...)
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:07 pm
zaq wrote:
Shishkabob posted that we learn that women should walk behind men from the fact that Yoseph stepped in front of rachel when yaakov lined up his family to greet eisav. That is a looooong stretch. It's obvious that yoseph was protecting his mother, not protecting himself from lascivious thoughts. How old could yoseph even have been at that point? He was all of 17 when he was sold, so he was considerably younger than that.


Binyamin wasnt born yet so that would make yosef a toddler at the time..
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 4:10 pm
I have the cutest pic of a yeshivish/heimish couple the man kneeling to propose or reenact proposal
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GLUE




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 5:00 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
It is a matter of custom. To 99% of the world it is extreme and crazy that kindergarten are separated by gender. To 99% of the world it is insane that some women aren't allowed to drive. To 99% of the world it is crazy that a 17 year old girl has never spoken to or looked a boy in the face. .


There are a lot of parts of the world. I was once reading an article were the author was describing what it was like leaving Iran and coming to America. Her parents send them to the public pool until they learned that men and women were not separated. There are plenty of parts in the world were what you are writing is not crazy but normal.
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CiCi




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 6:25 pm
zohar wrote:
I don't think this is a binary. I am teaching my children to hold open doors regardless of gender. I'm also teaching them not to get unnecessarily upset or insulted when someone doesn't. It doesn't mean that the person is ride or unkind.


When I see the word "binary" on a frum sight I get nervous.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 6:30 pm
CiCi wrote:
When I see the word "binary" on a frum sight I get nervous.

Why?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 6:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Why?


A fear of computer coding.

110001000111011010111110001110000111010101

Tongue Out
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 6:42 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
A fear of computer coding.

110001000111011010111110001110000111010101

Tongue Out


Hey, congrats on your new signature! Thumbs Up
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 6:45 pm
Let me tell you the story of one of my first impressions of Israel.

We all took the train up to Nahariya. DH said he was going to get a taxi, and left me and my 12yo DD on the platform with all the luggage. LOTS of luggage, as we had just made Aliyah and had extra suitcase allowances. I had no idea how we were going to schlep them all to the curb.

Out of nowhere this big, muscle bound, tattooed, black, leather jacketed guy grabbed all of our suitcases (several in each hand), and took off down the stairs with them. I was in shock for a few seconds, and over his shoulder he yells "Yallah!" I had no idea what that meant, but I wasn't going to let the suitcases out of my sight, so we ran after him.

He carried the suitcases through the tunnel under the tracks, and up the long flight of stairs to the street, all the way to the curb where DH was waiting. Before I could even turn around and thank the guy, he had disappeared into the crowd. I'm pretty sure he was Eliyahu ha Navi!

Of course, DH was oblivious to the whole saga, and just got in the cab and expected the taxi driver to put all of the suitcases in by himself. Can't Believe It When we got to our hotel, I had to tip the driver, because DH didn't want to. Can't Believe It Can't Believe It Can't Believe It

Now tell me, which one was the gentleman? The frum guy in a bekeshe and hat, or the chiloni with multiple ear piercings? (In that moment, I was starting to think that I'd married the wrong one.)
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lilies




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 9:45 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Let me tell you the story of one of my first impressions of Israel.

Snip

Now tell me, which one was the gentleman? The frum guy in a bekeshe and hat, or the chiloni with multiple ear piercings? (In that moment, I was starting to think that I'd married the wrong one.)


That's not fair!
That has to do with being a mentch, not frum or levush.
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:04 pm
CiCi wrote:
When I see the word "binary" on a frum sight I get nervous.


There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
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tigerwife




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:09 pm
I'm pretty sure that the source for walking behind a woman is in Mishlei, something about being dangerous like a lion, and I'm sure someone here will have the patience to look it up and verify Wink

Either way, it has nothing to do with holding the door open for someone of the opposite sx.
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:10 pm
malki2 wrote:
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

You only listed 2. What about the other 8?
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soap suds




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:14 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
My husband told me some men are makpid not to walk behind women for tznius purposes.

This could be why some men don't hold doors open for women, because they would end up walking behind them.

I am not saying this applies to everyone and I do think it is rude to let a door slam in anyone's face. Just a possible explanation.
My male neighbors hold the door for me and then when I get to the door, they walk through it ahead of me, but make sure the door stays open long enough for me to get through too. I do the same when the situation is reversed.
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:25 pm
ExtraCredit wrote:
You only listed 2. What about the other 8?


I guess you’re the second type🤣
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:27 pm
malki2 wrote:
I guess you’re the second type🤣

Why not the 5th?
Btw no clue what you’re talking about. Google wasn’t much help! Confused

I know my kids talk about binany these days, not binary.
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:30 pm
ExtraCredit wrote:
Why not the 5th?
Btw no clue what you’re talking about. Google wasn’t much help! Confused

I know my kids talk about binany these days, not binary.


In binary, 10 means 2. It sort of kills a joke when you have to explain it😒
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:31 pm
malki2 wrote:
In binary, 10 means 2. It sort of kills a joke when you have to explain it😒


Yea, I know. BTDT.
But thanks for explaining.
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:37 pm
ExtraCredit wrote:
Yea, I know. BTDT.
But thanks for explaining.


No extra credit for you tonight.
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