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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
What to send avelus.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 14 2020, 12:51 pm
anything kids will eat
most basic simanim
please no sheep head unless they say ys
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Regarding Single Again and her question about how this impacts shidduchim-it's all about reputation and image.

I think it was one of the cities destroyed together with Sdom where they were kind to people but your life was ruined if you asked questions about how to do that.
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Fave




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:13 pm
Elfrida wrote:
If they're sitting Shiva there won't be a 'regular shopping trip'.


I understand that the wife is not sitting shiva - the niftar was her in-law.

She might be overwhelmed with her husband sitting shiva, but she can still be doing a pre-Yom Tov shopping trip especially if she won’t be busy with the actual cooking.

OP, I would send the menu of the food you’re planning to cook to your friend as an FYI - “Rivka, I’m honored to be able to cook for your family for Friday night’s meal. I’m planing to send you this.... please let me know if there are any allergies or kids preferences that I should be aware of.”

Your friend will then know what you are sending and what she needs to handle on her own.


Last edited by Fave on Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 14 2020, 1:16 pm
Elfrida wrote:
He asked the close friends who were coming every day. They were asking what they could do to help us, and were glad when he could give them a specific job.

Ok so my point was that you made a blanket statement that there is no regular shopping trip in a shiva house. My point was thats a false blanket statement and the other spouse can shop and cook, etc. and these meals are to be kind and helpful.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Sep 14 2020, 3:33 pm
I have run a "shiva house" more than once, unfortunately. Answering the door, the phone, making sure the aveilim are fed and watered at the right times, dealing with the visitors and minyan - unless someone else is there to help, shopping trips aren't so simple...
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