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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:16 pm
I'm at my wits end about our downstairs neighbors. They (two gay married public school 3rd grade teachers, women) are complaining about our noise again now that the weather is cooling and the ACs are not running constantly.

They are completely not understanding of what life is like with children (4, 2, baby). They text us thing like Stop it!!! as if we are in our kids shoes and if we just will it, they will tiptoe, and not run (away from toothbrushing, out of bed, etc). Halevai they would just listen!!!! We yell at them way too much as it is. We get that it is very loud in our building and feel horrible but the kids just don't stop making noise. This morning they texted us that it was too early in the morning for so much noise (8am, our kids getting ready for school) and at bedtime we got 4 texts, telling us to stop the stomping, it is horrible to live under us!

We have had many conversations with them already, offering to take the kids out if they need quiet at a particular time, suggesting a sound machine, saying, what do you want us to do, tie them up? We were told that we are impertinent - we moved in over them so we have the responsibility to take care of the noise. Yes, we take off our shoes. Yes, we have tons of carpets. Yes, we are constantly telling our kids to walk quietly. No, we are not the best parents in the world but can any parent expect a 2 year old boy to walk quietly? They have told us that no matter what the age, with good parenting, children WILL listen. Says two non parents.

At this point I think we should just ignore them, but just the same, we can't ignore them (that didn't work the last time we tried) and whenever they send a text it is stressful, irritating, makes us feel guilty and desperate to move. We can't find anywhere to go now, though. I thought of calling 311 remediation services but my husband pointed out that then their people can come inspect our apartment and who knows what problems that could cause. I really don't want to fight with them - that won't make anything more peaceful.

Is there anything we can do?
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:18 pm
Block the number so when they text you won't see it. There is nothing more to do. Sounds like your trying. It's hard.
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Fabulous




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:21 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Block the number so when they text you won't see it. There is nothing more to do. Sounds like your trying. It's hard.


That’s what I would do
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:22 pm
Yikes imagine their poor third grade students!
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:23 pm
Are you in NY? In NY (city or state) it's the landlord's responsibiiity to mitigate this issue, so don't be surprised if that happens next. I would try to be a bit quieter, maybe move bedrooms around? I know you may not feel you're making noise, but they believe you are and in this state tenants have a right to something called "Quiet Enjoyment." They could come to the landlord with records of the noise and then the landlord will have to approach you, legally. And calling 311 will do nothing for either of you, it's not a police matter.

I've been through this, had to go to mediation with other tenants about noise. It's not a picnic and you can be fined.
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ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:26 pm
It sounds counterintuitive, but you should just know that bare feet make the loudest noise downstairs, even with tip toeing. Even on carpet, bare feet sound like thunder.
I've been underneath lol. My bedroom was in the basement when I was a teen. When my brother walked barefoot I'd come up really upset. It took time to find the culprit - I thought it was his stamping walk, but it turned out if was just bare feet. Slippers or shoes helped.

We recently had such a situation when my relative was sick with covid and the kids in the upstairs apartment were making noise that was making my relative even more ill. We begged the neighbors to have the kids wear crocs. It got much better and my relative was able to manage.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:29 pm
My brother has the opposite. He is the single person living under a family with two small kids. They make a lot of noise, always dragging chairs all over the apartment, running around very early on the weekends.
There is not one thing my brother could do about it. That is life in an apartment.
He tried talking to them, called a lawyer to see if something could be done but there is nothing.

Ignore them not much more you could do.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:36 pm
They will bully you as long as they are permitted to. Don't give them an audience. You have carpets, you take off shoes, you keep normal hours.

Do not take their texts. Do not engage in conversation. It just feeds them. They chose to live in a building knowing that people will live above them.

They are bullying you because your kindness has the reverse effect of making them believe that they are correct and justified in their unreasonable demands. I had this on 2 occasions. It is very unpleasant but you cannot allow yourself to be stepped on. They are bullying you in your own home.

A very close friend of mine lived alone above a couple that was driving her crazy with constant harassment and complaints. This abruptly ended when she got married. Her husband opened the door and said something to the effect of 'You had it good when my 100 pound wife lived here alone and was out at work all day. Unfortunately for you, I weigh 250 and I work from home. Don't bother us again.' And you know what? They didn't.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:37 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Yikes imagine their poor third grade students!


SO many times, we have said stuff like this, like, aren't we glad our kids aren't in public school?
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southernbubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:40 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Are you in NY? In NY (city or state) it's the landlord's responsibiiity to mitigate this issue, so don't be surprised if that happens next. I would try to be a bit quieter, maybe move bedrooms around? I know you may not feel you're making noise, but they believe you are and in this state tenants have a right to something called "Quiet Enjoyment." They could come to the landlord with records of the noise and then the landlord will have to approach you, legally. And calling 311 will do nothing for either of you, it's not a police matter.

I've been through this, had to go to mediation with other tenants about noise. It's not a picnic and you can be fined.


You can be fined for just walking around? Babies cry. Certainly the landlord was aware that fact when he rented to a family with three kids under age 5. I could see people complaining about unusual noise such as hammering in the middle of the night but walking, talking, using the food processor, etc are activities that I would imagine would not be subject to fines.
I think that they are guilty of harassment.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:40 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Are you in NY? In NY (city or state) it's the landlord's responsibiiity to mitigate this issue, so don't be surprised if that happens next. I would try to be a bit quieter, maybe move bedrooms around? I know you may not feel you're making noise, but they believe you are and in this state tenants have a right to something called "Quiet Enjoyment." They could come to the landlord with records of the noise and then the landlord will have to approach you, legally. And calling 311 will do nothing for either of you, it's not a police matter.

I've been through this, had to go to mediation with other tenants about noise. It's not a picnic and you can be fined.


The bedrooms can't be switched. We have tried everything we can to be quieter. Our landlord was informed and old us if it comes before the board he isn't on it there is nothing he can do.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The bedrooms can't be switched. We have tried everything we can to be quieter. Our landlord was informed and old us if it comes before the board he isn't on it there is nothing he can do.


Are you subletting from your landlord?
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:42 pm
You also might want to check with the people who live under them. Could be that they themselves are not too pleasant to live under. Gives you some leverage.
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:45 pm
I agree that it's time to block their number. And I'd look into moving. This is not a way to live.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 10:46 pm
OP, have your kids wear crocs or natives in the house, it really muffles the footsteps. I don't allow dragging chairs in the house, try to implement that. And needles to say, bikes & balls shouldn't be used in the house. I also don't let my kids spill toys early morning. (Think lego, blocks....)
If you're doing all this already and they're still bugging you, just ignore. They'll always find a problem to complain about.
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amother




Lime
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:00 pm
Keep in mind that noise from overhead sounds 100 times worse than it really is . meaning to you your kids are just walking but to the pple under it sounds like elephants. ive lived under kids. its absolutely horrible stomping sounds and vibrations .
get your kids super foam padded crocs or shoes it will help.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:02 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
Keep in mind that noise from overhead sounds 100 times worse than it really is . meaning to you your kids are just walking but to the pple under it sounds like elephants. ive lived under kids. its absolutely horrible stomping sounds and vibrations .
get your kids super foam padded crocs or shoes it will help.


Yes, but isn’t that the price you pay for living in an apartment?

I lived in a basement under a family with kids for many years. You know what you’re getting into.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:04 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
Yes, but isn’t that the price you pay for living in an apartment?

I lived in a basement under a family with kids for many years. You know what you’re getting into.


Right. Most people that live in an apartment building know not to expect quiet.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:10 pm
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
OP, have your kids wear crocs or natives in the house, it really muffles the footsteps. I don't allow dragging chairs in the house, try to implement that. And needles to say, bikes & balls shouldn't be used in the house. I also don't let my kids spill toys early morning. (Think lego, blocks....)
If you're doing all this already and they're still bugging you, just ignore. They'll always find a problem to complain about.


At their request we only allow wheels in the play area. It's really just feet. Socks and crocs I will try.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post  Mon, Sep 14 2020, 11:10 pm
Why do they have your number?
8 am is not early.
I had this years ago and I moved to a smaller Apt ( where the landlord had kids and didn’t care about noise) just so my kids and I wiuld be free of harassment. If your kids are not moving furniture or riding bikes or playing with balls leave them be.
And tell them ( your neighbors) to put noise canceling panels on their ceiling
You pay rent, you have a right to live without harassment.
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