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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 7:55 pm
My child is really overweight. And gaining rapidly. The new clothes I bought for Yom Tov are tight! I had room to adjust the waist but now I let it out and it’s still snug!!! It fit when I got it just a few weeks ago.
I don’t want to make food into a fight. I do notice he eats A LOT. He is gaining weight fast but he also eats a lot so I don’t think it is health related.
Do you have a child who is obese? How do you deal?

I have fruits available - often cut up. Bh he likes water. But he is getting heavier at an alarming rate.
Signed, an overweight mom who gets the struggle but my child is so young!
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:03 pm
Look into the work of Ellyn Satter.
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anonymrs




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:05 pm
Yes, check out Ellyn Satter but also see a doctor to rule out medical causes.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:27 pm
I don’t (most of the time) fight about food. But he will eat way to much so her method would not help. Most of this rapid weight gain started when I started sending out and the kids are able to to have more foods in school ( lots of bread, pasta and juice.....) I thought after a few weeks food intake would be back to normal. I was wrong. It has gotten way worse. He also eats fast and is ready for seconds way before anyone else has finished

He doesn’t move around enough either
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:34 pm
I'm in the same boat struggling with my teen . I cant pressure either , it has to come from him wanting to limit food but usually kids dont think the same as we adults do.
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chelsealew




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:37 pm
That sounds like very fast weight gain even if he's eating a lot. I would try to keep track of what he eats and bring it up with his dr
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don’t (most of the time) fight about food. But he will eat way to much so her method would not help. Most of this rapid weight gain started when I started sending out and the kids are able to to have more foods in school ( lots of bread, pasta and juice.....) I thought after a few weeks food intake would be back to normal. I was wrong. It has gotten way worse. He also eats fast and is ready for seconds way before anyone else has finished

He doesn’t move around enough either


Part of her method, is teaching hunger and fullness. Show him how to slow down and educate him what a balanced meal is. Would he prefer a packed lunch?

Of course check with your doctor too.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 10:25 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Part of her method, is teaching hunger and fullness. Show him how to slow down and educate him what a balanced meal is. Would he prefer a packed lunch?

Of course check with your doctor too.


School rule - no food from home
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 10:26 pm
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
I'm in the same boat struggling with my teen . I cant pressure either , it has to come from him wanting to limit food but usually kids dont think the same as we adults do.


My child is in preschool. 4 years.

This started in school. Or at least that’s when I noticed it. He is happy in school so I can’t understand it
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 10:27 pm
chelsealew wrote:
That sounds like very fast weight gain even if he's eating a lot. I would try to keep track of what he eats and bring it up with his dr
lli

I don’t know what goes on in school. He said he eats one of whatever it is. I don’t think so .
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amother




Green
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 10:29 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Look into the work of Ellyn Satter.


take elisheva weiner's course. it's based on ellyn satter and very clear
check her out on instagram
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:23 am
OP, are you me?!

Just kidding... I make my child's school food.

My 3 yo is also quite chubby and loves to eat, and I'm overweight.

My pediatrician told me that 67% of weight is genetic/hereditary, while only 33% is based on food consumption. So you can limit/teach all you want, but if he's predisposed to weight gain, he will probably always be overweight.

In order not to give him a complex, she advises to never talk about weight or food. Don't comment on his food intake. Just put the food out, let him take what he wants, and let him eat it. Don't judge him or give sideways glances to your husband. That way, even if he stays overweight, he'll have a healthy self-image, which is way more important than being thin.

Prioritize health, not weight. Teach him about healthy foods and how food works. Carbs give energy, protein builds muscles, fat provides flavor and satiety. Try to give him some of every food group each day.

I have to do my own work so that I can teach him that he is worthy and loved, even though he may be bigger (and shorter ;p) than his peers. I have to teach him that health is important, but Hashem makes people in all shapes and sizes. And if I don't love my overweight self, it's going to be really hard to teach him that.

It sounds like you will have to help him learn about satiety, chewing slowly, starting with one portion at a time, etc. at home. You may want to call the morah/school and see if there's any way to give him extra veggies if he requests seconds (as does my angel).

Since all you can be in charge of is the morning, dinner, and weekends, that's what you'll have to work with. Don't give him junk at home. Get him to like veggies. Have him pay attention to how he feels after eating his first portion of food to see if he wants more or if he wants to wait a bit.

Best of luck.
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:40 am
Just because a child seems happy in school doesn’t mean he actually is happy. If this started in school I would talk to the teacher, and if she/he is limiting his food in school that would be a major red flag for me. If a child gobbles his food, and isn’t running out to play, then maybe he’s worried that someone will take it away from him.
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fiji




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:42 am
I would get blood work done to rule out any medical conditions just in case
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:53 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
OP, are you me?!

Just kidding... I make my child's school food.

My 3 yo is also quite chubby and loves to eat, and I'm overweight.

My pediatrician told me that 67% of weight is genetic/hereditary, while only 33% is based on food consumption. So you can limit/teach all you want, but if he's predisposed to weight gain, he will probably always be overweight.

In order not to give him a complex, she advises to never talk about weight or food. Don't comment on his food intake. Just put the food out, let him take what he wants, and let him eat it. Don't judge him or give sideways glances to your husband. That way, even if he stays overweight, he'll have a healthy self-image, which is way more important than being thin.

Prioritize health, not weight. Teach him about healthy foods and how food works. Carbs give energy, protein builds muscles, fat provides flavor and satiety. Try to give him some of every food group each day.

I have to do my own work so that I can teach him that he is worthy and loved, even though he may be bigger (and shorter ;p) than his peers. I have to teach him that health is important, but Hashem makes people in all shapes and sizes. And if I don't love my overweight self, it's going to be really hard to teach him that.

It sounds like you will have to help him learn about satiety, chewing slowly, starting with one portion at a time, etc. at home. You may want to call the morah/school and see if there's any way to give him extra veggies if he requests seconds (as does my angel).

Since all you can be in charge of is the morning, dinner, and weekends, that's what you'll have to work with. Don't give him junk at home. Get him to like veggies. Have him pay attention to how he feels after eating his first portion of food to see if he wants more or if he wants to wait a bit.

Best of luck.


This was very helpful for me to read.
My question is this: you said to get him to like veggies. What if a child just refuses to eat them? Mine used to eat tons of veggies but now says no he doesn't like any of them anymore.... what then? Any ideas?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:10 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
OP, are you me?!

Just kidding... I make my child's school food.

My 3 yo is also quite chubby and loves to eat, and I'm overweight.

My pediatrician told me that 67% of weight is genetic/hereditary, while only 33% is based on food consumption. So you can limit/teach all you want, but if he's predisposed to weight gain, he will probably always be overweight.

In order not to give him a complex, she advises to never talk about weight or food. Don't comment on his food intake. Just put the food out, let him take what he wants, and let him eat it. Don't judge him or give sideways glances to your husband. That way, even if he stays overweight, he'll have a healthy self-image, which is way more important than being thin.

Prioritize health, not weight. Teach him about healthy foods and how food works. Carbs give energy, protein builds muscles, fat provides flavor and satiety. Try to give him some of every food group each day.

I have to do my own work so that I can teach him that he is worthy and loved, even though he may be bigger (and shorter ;p) than his peers. I have to teach him that health is important, but Hashem makes people in all shapes and sizes. And if I don't love my overweight self, it's going to be really hard to teach him that.

It sounds like you will have to help him learn about satiety, chewing slowly, starting with one portion at a time, etc. at home. You may want to call the morah/school and see if there's any way to give him extra veggies if he requests seconds (as does my angel).

Since all you can be in charge of is the morning, dinner, and weekends, that's what you'll have to work with. Don't give him junk at home. Get him to like veggies. Have him pay attention to how he feels after eating his first portion of food to see if he wants more or if he wants to wait a bit.

Best of luck.


Thank you for your detailed response.
Is your child overweight or really obese? My kid went from average/thin to overweight to obese. At least to me he looks obese. And yes I know my kids chances of being overweight are higher because of genetics but this seems way to much and to soon.
Your pediatrician sounds amazing. Can I ask who is your pediatrician and his location? (I think my pediatrician would tell me I need to lose weight to “show” my child)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:12 am
amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:
Just because a child seems happy in school doesn’t mean he actually is happy. If this started in school I would talk to the teacher, and if she/he is limiting his food in school that would be a major red flag for me. If a child gobbles his food, and isn’t running out to play, then maybe he’s worried that someone will take it away from him.


His first experience in school was with a moral that did limit food. So I sent extra from home. His next experience was was much better all around and he thrived there -but also started seriously gaining-
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 5:35 am
It takes a half an hour or more for your brain to register that you've eaten. After a first normal portion of food, have him get down from the table and go play for a half an hour. If he comes back for seconds, give him anything except starches. If he wants more after that, send him to play for another half hour, and try to get him to "check in with his tummy". He may think he's hungry, but maybe what he really wants is someone to play with him.

Give him toys that occupy his hands, like Playdoh and Duplo. You can't eat if you're absorbed in building something.

Make an effort to get him out of the house to some place where he can get some exercise. Riding a tricycle, running on the grass, or playing on a swing set (if that's allowed in your area. I know some parks are still closed because of Covid.)

I know I don't have to explain to you all of the health risks he may end up facing, along with social problems and bullying, and then shidduchim problems on top of that. I'm glad that you're worried. If your doctor doesn't seem worried, you need a new doctor, or at least a nutritionist - and a feeding therapist to teach him to slow down.

4 is so young! If you get him help right away, it could set him up for success for the rest of his life, and spare him a lot of heartache.

(If he really hates vegetables, try frozen ones. DD really didn't like veggies, but would happily eat a cup full of frozen corn, peas, or green beans. She loved the coolness and the texture, and the cold made the taste more mild than if they were warmed up. When she was 5, I finally got her to eat broccoli by telling her a story about a "big scary giant, that ate up all the trees. Wink )
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amother




Olive
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 5:48 am
Try to cut all gluten, sugar, potatoes and rice from his diet. These are hunger inducing foods, and for people with a genetic tendency, they are addictive and lead to an unhealthy cycle of always being hungry.

Serve things like quinoa and buckwheat for carbs. Do not buy any of the processed gluten substitute foods, they are usually sugary, chemical junk.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 5:58 am
You need to talk to his doctor, there could be something else going on. I have pcos, which gives me severe insulin resistance and I struggle a lot with weight. One of my kids inherited my insulin resistance (he's a boy, so obviously doesn't have pcos). At 4 I also noticed he was chunking up fast, and he was borderline obese. Pediatrician referred us to an endocrinologist. He was diagnosed with insulin resistance and also hypothyroid. Started synthroid and we had to start watching his carbs. Now, children do need more carbs than adults, and you should never severely restrict carbs for a child, but we were advised to give him healthier types of carbs and also encourage him to eat the protein, fat, and veg parts of his meal first before eating his carbs. Anyway, he is 7 now, he outgrew the thyroid issues (no longer needs synthroid), the insulin resistance will never go away, but he has grown into his body. He's now only slightly overweight, no longer teetering on obese. Please see the doctor to rule out other stuff and learn how to modify his diet safely.
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