Spinoff of “relaxed mother”

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Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:27 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
This is perfect! A big part of my job is teaching parents how to play with their children for emotional and educational reasons!! I know its hard to make the time and headspace but only a few minutes per child is needed and the connection it builds is priceless!!

I’m really good at playing with my kids, I think.
Open-ended pretend play, silly dancing, building toys... I take time to learn about what my kids are interested in (Minecraft, old coins, whatever) so that I can ask questions that show I pay attention to what they’re interested in.

I guess things would be *worse* if I didn’t connect to my kids in this way, but it certainly doesn’t seem like playing with them more often (I already do at least 2 hours straight on Shabbos where I pay 100% attention to them, not reading a book or distracted in any way; at least 10 minutes per kid before bed; in addition to being available to schmooze in the car etc) makes them nicer to one another/more relaxed and secure/more respectful and helpful.

What is the limit for kids of how much attention and playfulness they should get from parents?

Last edited by bigsis144 on Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:45 pm
I don't think there's a limit.
Children will naturally seek out company from peers at some point, if it's available. They will also occupy themselves independently if they feel seen and satisfied overall.
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Post  Wed, Sep 16 2020, 4:07 pm
It sounds like you are doing a great job in terms of connecting with your kids through play!

The amazing thing about play is that its the most natural way for children to learn. For example if you need a child to learn how to wait you build in turn taking when building a tower or have a structured picnic with play food where you each take turns choosing what you will both eat.

If you want to teach empathy you can build different emotions into the games that you play by putting your character into different scenarios.

Sensory play can be a very calming tool as well for kids. Using play dough, water, sand, and paint can help regulate sensory seeking children.

Play is a safe space for children to learn to persevere as well. If they are building something and it is not working they learn to keep trying until they get it. This means they work through stress and frustration and learn to problem solve.

It is also very important that children learn to play independently which gives you a break and helps them become more independent and self confident.

Play also keeps the relationship and lines of communication open as they get older although it may become card games or basketball.

That being said play is 1 piece of a puzzle. Boundaries are super important as well as is your own mental health.

Which to me means the limit is how much works for you that you are not making yourself a shmatta. The kids need to understand you are a human being too.
The other piece is to make sure they are learning to play without you as well.

Going anon bec it will be too obvious who I am
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