No laundry on chol hamoed

amother

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 10:42 am

In the shiur I just listened to, the Rav said no laundry, at all. MAYBE for children under bar mitzvah, if they get dirty.

I usually ignore this, trying to be better. I always figured that underwear or workout clothes didn't count, or towels didn't count. BUT THEY DO.

It doesn't make sense to me! It just doesn't! I don't even do the laundry, my cleaning lady does. I spend the whole chol hamoed saving my underwear and reusing gross kitchen towels, and my kids shirts are a disgusting mess by the time second days come around, especially if it's a three day yom tov. Who has enough clothes for six days of yom tov? Certainly not my kids. My simchas yom tov isn't enhanced by all this. I just don't get why it's such an issue.

Frumme

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 11:23 am

Is the shiur you listened to from the Rav you usually speak to, or just a random one? Was it live or recorded? From what I understand, listening to a recorded shiur is not the same as a psak din; in recorded shiurim, just like most halacha books, they give you the basic halacha so that you can rely on xyz and not be afraid of breaking halacha. That being said, there is usually more to the story and any specific questions should be brought to your LOR who can direct you in your specific situation, or if it's a live shiur there is usually time for questions. For example, some rabbonim allow cleaning help to do laundry, or even say the wife herself can do it because doing laundry today is much less work than back in the day. But you have to ask and let them know your situation (e.g. having to ration your underwear is a ridiculous expectation, it's chol hamoed, not the 9 days).

amother

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:12 pm

Frumme wrote:

It was on TorahAnytime. Rabbi Fuerst, because I live in Chicago. He gave a lot of sources, basically every source says no. Reb Moshe, Charon Ish, R Eliyashiv, etc etc.

He said specifically even if the cleaning lady does it! It’s not even my melacha! No one is worried about me cooking and cleaning for a million people, which for me is far more of a melacha on both yom tov and chol hamoed. It’s just so random.

PinkFridge

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:41 pm

BH that Rabbi Feurst shlita does these shiurim. I still say, that unless - and even if - he's your rav, you should ask your rav yourself, now that you know the principles, and what to do if you're in a situation where there's no rav available.

Frumme

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 10:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's great that he gives lots of sources. But again, he didn't give you a psak. He gave general guidelines. Now you need to ask your own rav for clarification and exceptions to the rule.

If you hear a hilchos niddah shiur and hear that a brown stain is not good, with 30 sources that agree, and then get a bedikah with a brown stain, are you going to start back at day 1 sheva nekiim? Or are you going to call a rav to ask a shaila?

Don't assume you can't do something until you discuss it personally with a rav whom you've given all of the details to. We are supposed to live by the words of Torah, not die by them. That includes not torturing ourselves.

You can choose to either accept the ruling in this shiur and be unhappy, or you can ask a Rav and probably get a psak you'd be much happier with.

amother

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 10:41 am

Frumme wrote:

Huh? So everything is individualized? If I was told that all chachomim say that it's assur to cook on shabbos, I can just ask my personal Rav for an exception? I don't think that's how it works.

I'm off to buy some underwear, towels, and workout clothes. I hope my kids shirts will last. It's just 8 days, I can manage.

LovesHashem

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 11:04 am

lilies wrote:

I believe gross kitchen towels may be washed even if you won't be using them again. No, I don't think you should be saving your underwear and wearing sweaty work-out clothes.
Please ask your Rav.

Correct. If you have the means it's ideal to buy more so you don't have to wash. Washing is really not supposed to happen

LovesHashem

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 11:06 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You are right OP. I've learned these halachos time and time again and I have yet to hear that there are opinions on this.

Obviously if one has unique circumstances like one cannot afford to buy more clothing etc than yes if they run out of clothing you don't need to wear dirty and sweaty stuff!

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 11:25 am

Yes, feels totally random. If they really wanted women to rest, they would say that people should only eat cereal on yom tov and chol hamoed. No cooking, no dishes. Bliss.

Living a week with reused clothes is far from bliss.

PinkFridge

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 11:28 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Excellent. I just found this thread again to suggest that. Have a wonderful yom tov!

Frumme

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 1:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You can ask, and you might be surprised by the answer if the situation warrants it. Like I said, it depends on the circumstances of the situation. But it can't hurt to ask. If you don't ask, you'll be unhappy. If you do ask, there is a potential chance that you might not get the answer you want, but there is also potential that you will get an answer that you will like.

In any case, you found a solution that works, which is amazing, and I'm very glad to hear that.

I personally will happily wash, if necessary, any undergarments and children's clothes, following the rulings of the Michaber, Tur, Beir Moshe, Aruch Hashulchan, etc, on chol hamoed. (If you'd like to read more about these opinions, you can visit shulchanaruchharav.com/halacha/the-laws-and-customs-of-chol-hamoed-summary/ )

Please have a shana tova! ♥️

imasoftov

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

There are exceptions to Shabbat, too, such as pikuach nefesh or a brit (when it's the eighth day, and other requirements). But Chol Hamoed is not just more lenient in that more acts are allowed, it is more dependent on the individual circumstances, and not only with regard to laundry, but also with things done to avoid loss or work done by a poor person who needs the money to buy food for the holiday.

So while it is a good thing that these days we can have enough clothes for the whole chag from start to finish, there's nothing wrong with asking one's rabbi a question about what to do if one is running out of clean clothes.

amother

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:33 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

EXACTLY. It seems totally backward. None of this is about women resting, ever. Men should have simchas yom tov, but it feels like women's simcha is supposed to be in the work.

One shabbos I went to a hotel with my husband, and I experienced shabbos like a man. I got up and davened, went to my prepared meal that I neither planned nor cooked nor served, watched other people take my plates and clear the table, then went for a nap. I didn't worry about what children were doing or not doing, I didn't have to walk anyone to a playdate or pick anyone up, and I didn't have to entertain little ones with endless sessions of connect 4. I got up, davened, went down to get some shalosh seudos, davened again, and voila! The most amazing, restful shabbos ever! Oh, to be a man.