Totally burnt out!!

amother

Fri, Sep 18 2020, 1:52 pm

Seriously feel like all I did was shop and shop and shop and then put away groceries, clean out fridge, reorganize, and then cook and clean . In a small kitchen with very little to work with. Spent tons of money. And then my kids say there is nothing to eat. When I have tried to buy more simple things to make life easier they say that's what we are having for shabbos/yom tov? I am desperate for major amounts of self care due to many years of neglect and struggling . I am torn between giving my family a yom tov feeling and due to much chaos and challenges in my life I have just given up. Really need help how to make things easier. Have no family to go to. And little if no take out I can rely on-not much available where I am, or they don't like it anyway,etc.

HELP!!!!!!

amother

Pink

Fri, Sep 18 2020, 2:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Um, if your kids say, "That's what we're having for yom tov?", you just say enthusiastically, "YEP!" And leave it at that.

I've also had to be self-reliant and even host my family, and yes, it can get hard sometimes. I do have cleaning help, so you definitely have it harder, but you need to stop pushing yourself to please everyone. You need to do what you can do, and let the rest go. My mother never had company, ever. We always ate on paper plates because she hated dishes. It never even occurred to us that this was somehow bad. It just was what it was.

Own your own choices, be happy with those choices, and your kids will follow along. If you're happy and content, and if being simpler makes you happy and content (or at least, more so), then your kids will pick up on that vibe.

If your kids dislike the way you do things then, guess what:
1) They can bake or cook things they want to eat. Mine started doing that at 14.
2) They can do it their own way when THEY get married or have their own house. That's what my mom always told me, and guess what? That's what I do! I do things my way, and in no way does that take away what my mom did. We're just different!

Stars

Fri, Sep 18 2020, 5:51 pm

I find it super important to have structured meal times on erev yom tov, otherwise my day tends to go to pieces. The Betty Crocker pizza maker is a lifesaver.

I keep it simple but I keep the family aware of what’s on the menu next and approximately what time so they’re not grazing all day.

Today we did:
Breakfast-
Scrambled eggs and toast
Lunch- pizza and fries
Dinner before the zman- stuff I cooked for yt, veggie soup with kneidel, chicken drumsticks, ferfel, and compote

Everyone’s welcome to help themselves to fruit and water all day.

It really and truly helps me stay sane. It takes five minutes of planning and keeps everyone full and not kvetchy all day long.

amother

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 1:42 am

Not looking forward to upcoming meal prep. I don't even like any of the traditional yom tov foods. However when you need to make a lot of food for your entire family with no energy, limited budget usually we resort to quick and convenient and that usually doesnt translate to healthy. I would love options that are easy but healthy!!

Just feel in general though can't keep up with all the spiritual and physical demands in pulling off a yom tov .