Can we talk about these LOL dolls for a hot minute

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medola

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:16 am

Op here. My daughter went to bed in tears as she was begging for me to get her one of these dolls that her friends are all playing with. I am torn between trying to find the most tznius doll of the brothel bunch, or having an uncomfortable chat with the mothers of her friends. I don’t want to put anyone’s parenting in question and I’m sure the parents wouldn’t just go throw out their daughters’ favorite toys. I might just cave and find the one that’s least disgusting but I am also worried that once I get her one that won’t be enough and she will soon be asking for more to add to the collection (and then we will run out of acceptable options). Would you have an open conversation with the parents about this?

FranticFrummie

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:23 am

medola wrote:

Even if you buy the ONE doll that is the least trashy, you are still giving money to support the company that is making all of the really disgusting ones. Can you live with that?

Please, go check out Littlest Pet Shop figurines. They are so much cuter, just as collectible, and not at all problematic. If you let DD watch videos, they have really cute cartoons that go with them, and all the story lines are nice.

My Little Pony is also a very kosher cartoon/toy series. They have those big eyes and candy colors that little girls seem to gravitate too - but no bondage gear or detailed genitals!

As far as your daughter's friends' moms, I take it you don't live in a very frum area, right? Do these other girls go to a Jewish school, and do they sometimes take these dolls to school? If so, you should probably have a discussion with the principal, and ask her for advice on how to handle this.

(Back in the 50's, it was teens getting together to listen to Elvis records, when their parent's didn't approve. Oh, how I wish we still had problems like that!)

seeker

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:27 am

I know kids in frum areas in frum schools who have these dolls, I think the parents just had no idea they could get iffy. Until I started seeing things like this on the internet, I thought it was just another random kid fad. Trolls were ugly and not posable too.

avrahamama

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:27 am

medola wrote:

Have the conversation. Please. Not all parents even realize what they bought. And the ones that disagree with you might not have values that align with what you want for yourself and daughter anyway.

Sexualization of children through their toys is a real issue and it's a deal breaker for who I would make an effort for my young child to spend their time with.

CiCi

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:59 am

seeker wrote:

I can't be dan l'kaf zchus anyone buying these "toys" that so obviously don't belong in a Jewish home, or in any stable home. You have to be blind not to see anything wrong. Mothers are turning a blind eye here because they cannot say "NO".

DrMom

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 10:04 am

medola wrote:

Great name

FranticFrummie

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 10:10 am

avrahamama and CiCi, I think we finally found something we can all agree on.

Over the years my DD has cried for lots of things. Some were inappropriate, some were just plain out of our budget at the time. I don't ever enjoy saying "no" to her, and I empathize, but I have to remember that I am the grown-up, not her BFF. It is not an easy job being the "mean mommy".

Funny, now that she's almost an adult herself, she sees what happens to kids who get everything they want, or have no parental supervision, or no boundaries. All the things she used to fight with me about - now she says to me "Mama, you were RIGHT!"

The sweetest words a mother can ever hear. Very Happy

CiCi

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 10:18 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Ok, so we can agree on something LOL

Here's a thumbs up

for your parenting. I admire you because I know how hard it is to say "no".

It's so hard to say "no" and sometimes I can't say "no" myself say when I should. But for prostitude dolls I wouldn't think twice about saying "NO and don't argue with me!".

ShishKabob

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 10:31 am

CiCi wrote:

Ok, so we can agree on something LOL

Here's a thumbs up

A child can feel if a mother is strong with her decision or is still deciding. Like, by the register in a supermarket, my child asks for non kosher candy displayed, I say NO, and they can't move me no matter what. They feel it and most of the time they don't even ask again. It's a non negotiable thing.
Good luck op and stay strong. Now is the perfect time of year for these positive decisions.
Gmar Chasimah Tovah!

amother

Blue

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 11:04 pm

and here I thought I was the only mama to resent this fad. my daughter is obsessed and while I think they are super ugly and weird looking, I didn't think much into it. we have a few of them now with accessories and different cardboard rooms but definitely not getting more.
she'll have to find another obsession.

amother

Teal

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 11:21 pm

I recently ordered a really beautiful realistic set of newborn boy/girl twin dolls from amazon for my daughter. I only realized a few days later when she was playing with them that they have correctly shaped boy/girls parts as well. I thought it was weird, I thought it was a given that dolls get a blank between their legs, but just shrugged it off. She has a baby brother in the house, this didn't give her an education. Am I nuts that I wasn't horrified by this?

amother

Teal

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 11:22 pm

DrMom wrote:

Great name

Omg brothel bunch???? I hope you're kidding. That's horrific. No words.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 11:42 pm

I was also horrified when my daughter received an OMG doll as a gift.
Really yuck.
I'm trying to direct her to some cute 14 inch doll - such as Glitter Girls or the more expensive Wellie Wishers. Very different from OMG and much more wholesome, and she is getting into them now b"H

Also, I just discovered "Hatchimals", which so far do the trick - they are full of surprises, without all the weird stuff. And not too expensive.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/prod.....99377

Between those two types of toy I hope to distract her from the LOL dolls and can throw out that awful OMG doll - truly horrifying Sad

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 11:44 pm

Goldie613 wrote:

Just checked with one of my kids - apparently what they look like very much depends on the series. Some of the small ones can be cutesy, while the series you mentioned usually has little dolls wearing similar outfits to the older girl dolls (meaning high heels, not tznius clothes, etc). (And yes, they really do the anatomically correct for the boys, though not for the girls as far as she knows).

Maybe she (and you) would be ok with a different series from this same company?

Here's a slightly better image I found online, no idea what series though =

I think for a six year old I might only be comfortable with the middle doll, but others might have other opinions.

Problem is you can't always choose. I'm trying to keep away form them altogether... hope she doesn't have peer pressure.

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 1:48 am

I don’t really have a problem with these dolls. My girls love them.

ChanieMommy

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 2:02 am

medola wrote:

My 6 year old daughter really wants an LOL doll. (Jk series?) I’ve looked them up and although I am a feminist these dolls look like prostitots. I don’t want to buy her these dolls but she’s unrelenting. All her friends have them and apparently she’s the only one who doesn’t. Are there LOL dolls that dress a little more modestly?

I've never heard of those dolls... I went to see what they looked like and find them rather cute...

Barbies strike me as much more immodest than those dolls...

It's your good right to say no... but if she buys them from her own money, I would not throw them out...

FranticFrummie

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 2:07 am

ChanieMommy wrote:

Did you miss the part where they change when put into a cold temperature? The end up in bondage gear, fishnet stockings, thong underwear, and worse!

I'm not sure how you feel about anatomically correct boy parts on dolls.

DrMom

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 2:08 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

Omg brothel bunch???? I hope you're kidding. That's horrific. No words.

Did you even read the rest of the thread?

FranticFrummie

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 2:20 am

CiCi wrote:

Ok, so we can agree on something LOL

Here's a thumbs up

I was mostly joking. I'm not quite as far to the right politically as you are, but I do find myself agreeing on occasion. (I'm a Libertarian, I can see all sides to an argument.) Wink

I made a deal with DD when she was little. Sometimes I may have to say no to toys, and I may have to say no to candy, but I will NEVER say no to books. She had a huge library growing up, and I would always try to find time to read to her whenever she asked. By giving her an alternative and my quality time, it kept her from obsessing on having things that were not good for her.

I also taught her gratitude for what we have (Pirkei Avot). Her BFF had every American Girl doll and accessory known to mankind. Her family was very wealthy. We were not, and I tried to get her a couple of things so she could fit in, and our family got her a few expensive things for birthdays and Chanukah. DD never felt bad because she didn't have the whole AG store in her room.

The girl from the wealthy family almost never saw her parents because they both worked overtime, and the girl was basically raised by her nanny. One time the girl said to me "I wish you would adopt me!" I asked her why, and she said "Because you are always home when DD gets home from school, and because you bake us cookies."

Kids will value what you teach them to value, but it starts around age 4 or 5, and it has to be an ongoing lesson. If you make the lessons sweet by seasoning them with lots of love, they will adjust with no problem.

Even today, DD has very modest requests, and is very grateful for anything that is given to her. She's the type of kid who writes thank you letters and sends pictures of her wearing the present that was sent to her. Nobody needs to tell her to do that. She's also extremely generous with everything she has, and does not complain if she doesn't get everything she wants.

As for the reading, it pays off! I just Skyped with her yesterday, and she showed me her report card. She's getting almost all A grades, and her lowest grade is 80%. That grade is only low because of the computer program she's working with, that has timed quizzes. She tends to freeze up under pressure, but she knows all the material.

Last year she was in the top 1% of her class! (Yeah, mama needs to brag a little bit.) We had a rough couple of years during her pre-teens, but in the end B'H things seem to be working out. I think that the early foundation is key to where she is holding today.

So, when your child is 6, and it's just a couple of dolls, this is your TEACHABLE MOMENT. Do the right thing, and you will reap the rewards 100x over in the future.

Last edited by FranticFrummie on Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:51 am; edited 1 time in total

solo

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:19 am

My daughter got a few lol Dolls as gifts. She was happy to have the same toys as her friends. A yr later and she’s moved on. I didn’t love them but wasn’t bothered either

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