Expectations for an 8-year-old

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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ANS

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 12:45 pm

My 8-year-old ds constantly talks after washing his hands before my husband says Hamotzi and gives out the challah on Shabbos. Should we expect him to wash again and stay quiet or just ignore it? He also sometimes becomes disruptive during kiddush by making noises or acting silly. Any advice would be appreciated.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 12:46 pm

I would shush my 8 year old for these few minutes. You know your child best though. Go with your gut, not with what people on here do.

ChanieMommy

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 1:05 pm

Although many people think that they have to wash again if they spoke between netila and hamotzi, I learned that this should not be done...

the halacha is not to speak, but you should not wash again with bracha, since it would make the first bracha a bracha levatala...

Just if you spoke by mistake, you do the hamotzi all the same...

I think if you gave the hand to someone who had not yet washed, you would have to wash again... or if you did not wash properly..

I suppose that an 8-year-old does it just for chinuch...

The 8-year-olds I know can hold back on speaking, I would expect it more or less from age 5 on... Same for kiddusch, to listen and not disrupt...

So perhaps it would be worthwhile to ask your son why he does it and what he proposes?

Probably he does it for tzumi (attention), so maybe you can come to an agreement that he can have his tzumi in other ways...

lilies

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 1:09 pm

Is that your oldest child?

behappy2

Mon, Sep 21 2020, 3:31 pm

Forgetting or don't care? If f8rgetting remind them. If don't care ignore. Kids will do this on their own when ready. Other things I don't push are Brachos, Davening, melachos on shabbos. Some things are just jard for kids and if we penalize them they feel like failures. Set them up for success.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 2:33 am

Doraisa should be fine at 8
I'm just reading the dark side of laura ingalls and "she did well enough at 4 saving her sisters from fire"

amother

Mauve

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:31 am

My 8 year old son (oldest) is the same. He’s just very immature in many ways and though it drives me nuts I try to ignore it. He doesn’t stand for kiddush, can’t handle shul, and uses a squeaky voice to talk like a two year old (“is that the baby’s botty”)... and I’ve always spoken to them like adults at any age..
I try to push him a little out of his comfort zone for his own sake but not too much...

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