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Giving Gift Going away Shabbos - Pre Covid
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 3:09 am
Of course a guest brings something. To not bring something is rude.

My mother gave me something to bring when I did a sleepover as a teenager. I remember a friend’s mother being surprised when I presented her with two mugs and some special tea. Smile

And the only time I have asked or been asked to bring something is with family when it is expected that everyone would bring something to be served and so it was being coordinated. I would feel extremely odd soliciting a hostess gift and would think normal people would think I was as off as I think people are who don’t bring a hostess gift.

The issue of inviting someone over who doesn’t bring a hostess gift is a gray for me because I would think they would exhibit thoughtlessness in other areas.
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amother




Taupe
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 6:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We invited a couple with their kids for shabbos to sleep and eat all the meals by us. We were suprised that they did not bring a gift or offer to make something. They are not financially struggling.
Is this normal or not? Now my husband wants to invite them again.

DH wants to invite them in the past? Their previous visit was before the pandemic and he wants to invite them after it's over?
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groovy1224




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:10 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
In some cultures it’s more expected than others. Personally it’s not about the gift but the appreciation. I’ve had ppl that aren’t the type to bring gifts but thank and compliment and the gift wasn’t missing. Then I have ppl that feel like I’m a paid hostess and I really don’t like having those back.


Not wanting to have someone back because they treated you like the help is one thing. But OP didn't mention anything about their behavior, just the fact that they didn't bring a gift.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:14 am
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Of course a guest brings something. To not bring something is rude.

My mother gave me something to bring when I did a sleepover as a teenager. I remember a friend’s mother being surprised when I presented her with two mugs and some special tea. Smile

And the only time I have asked or been asked to bring something is with family when it is expected that everyone would bring something to be served and so it was being coordinated. I would feel extremely odd soliciting a hostess gift and would think normal people would think I was as off as I think people are who don’t bring a hostess gift.

The issue of inviting someone over who doesn’t bring a hostess gift is a gray for me because I would think they would exhibit thoughtlessness in other areas.

We can be friends
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amother




Pink
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:21 am
Sincerely wondering why are you thinking about this now when people are not inviting shabbos guests? Did something happen? What's your relationship with this family?

There are no hard and fast rules, and even if someone does generally bring a gift sometimes exceptions do happen.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:22 am
Based on the answers here, it probably is cultural.
We would never go to someone empty-handed. We are israeli, I wonder if it's an israeli "thing,"
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:27 am
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
Sincerely wondering why are you thinking about this now when people are not inviting shabbos guests?

Where I live people are inviting guests. Personally we did not have guests over the holiday but many of my neighbors did. And many people had guests Shavuous.
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