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If your husband has a different way of parenting

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 1:10 pm
If your husband is very strict and firm and your the soft one how do u deal with your husbands style of parenting??
Do you discuss it with him later in private? Will he even listen?
By me it comes up a lot that I just cannot stand my dh strictness or perfectionism as it clashes with my kids. I did bring it up a couple of times but he isnt changing anything.
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Genius




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 2:49 pm
Respecting your husband goes a very long way regardless of your own or your husbands chinuch approach.
If you asked your husband to change (nicely) and he hasn’t, chances are he never will. Your best bet will now be to let your kids have one soft parent and one strict parent.
I don’t see that as a bad thing
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ddmom




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:16 pm
How do the kids take it? Do they have a good relationship with him? Does it work? Do they behave better?
It's not such a bad thing to have a strict parent, it balance things out! All depends on how strict he is... kids learn vey quickly what their parents tolerate and what they don't!!!
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:25 pm
Yeah we are different, too. I see children as full people who deserve respect and empathy. My husband sees children as a bother. So I take on the parenting responsibilities.
Maybe read a gentle parenting book together? Try No Bad Kids or The Whole Brain Child. Both very easy to read and extremely fascinating and informative.
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North Star




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:29 pm
For us it’s the opposite, my husband is a softie and just can’t say no to them, whereas I like to think I’m loving yet firm, and am the the one to discipline them when needed.

It works out fine for us. Most families I know have one parent that’s stricter than the other. As long as you respect each other, especially in front of the children.
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oneofakind




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 6:05 pm
As long as one isn't abusive then the other one overcompensating isn't healthy either.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:47 pm
It depends how strict. If he's so strict you think it's going to have serious impact on their emotional or mental health then I think you need to get some real guidance.

My husband is the fun one and I'm the strict one in my house.
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