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Haor Beacon School

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 22 2020, 10:43 pm
Hi,

Sorry, this is long, but I’m desperate for advice and info. Would especially love to hear from current parents in the school and education professionals.

My son is 12.5 years old, very difficult at home. Always attention seeking, defiant, will randomly smack his siblings, pull hair, very sensory - no one can play loudly, sing around him, listen to music etc.

He does not antagonize his friends/classmates physically, instead he really struggles socially and tries to attract friends in strange ways - shows off incessantly, interrupts them with “cooler” stories when conversing with others (half are made up!), is a huge sore loser etc. He doesn’t have many friends. He’s too hard to get along with. When I try to point out patterns in some of his friendships, he’s totally in denial. Everything is someone else’s fault, and everyone is out to get him.

He’s also somewhat ADHD - not extreme, but Rebbeim complain he’s interruptive when he’s off the meds (been on a few for the past few years which he hates) because he calls out a lot with stupid comments. He thinks he has “great lines” and is constantly seeking attention.

The yeshiva is fine keeping him, he’s just floating through though. He himself told me his plan is just to “get through” school for the indefinite future. He wants to open a business already. Very smart kid who is motivated when things are on his terms. Which is basically never things that are actually age appropriate or good for him.

I see him getting less and less interested in learning and growth. He doesn’t daven at all, barely pays attention in class unless he’s trying to show off and will not do a stitch of homework - Hebrew it
English. Sometimes he’ll behave for a day or two and then try to manipulate us into bribing him to continue for some kind of prize.

Most upsetting is his behavior towards his siblings. He really hurts them and it’s not OK that none of them feel safe around him. We’re at our wits end.

A relative suggested this school. I am extremely hesitant for a number of reasons.

He is a very socially aware kid - which is funny because he does so many socially off things. But still cares to keep his clothes, hair, etc in style and is very worried what others think.

I also really didn’t see him as a problem kid until recently - is the past year or two. Maybe I was in denial.

I’m scared he’ll have a hard time integrating into a mainstream school for HS or even being accepted to one.

I’m concerned that he’ll be so angry at us for switching him that he’ll reject it all. He’s a big risk taker in general, and likes to “show us” when he thinks we gave him a consequence he didn’t deserve.

Maybe I’m just immature and care too much what people think.

I’m not sure he really qualifies anyway, though I don’t think he’s learning anything at all where he is now, which is considered a great school by frum standards.

Any thoughts?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 9:58 am
Bump
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amother




Sienna
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:04 am
I can’t speak to the school but it sounds like he may need a full psych evaluation. Before you go finding a different school maybe find out if there’s an issue that can be targeted and worked with...and then find an appropriate setting for him to succeed.
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momof2kids




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:08 am
Based on your description of the situation, Beacon would be a good fit.
I send to Beacon, please PM me, I'll tell you more about the school.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:20 pm
Thanks for responding.

He’s already been marginally evaluated and doubt they’d come up with anything else. He’s bright and personable one on one.

Momof2 - thanks. Hope to get up the guts to PM.

Feel like I should’ve changed the title. Curious to hear others’ thoughts and experiences even if not necessarily about this specific school.
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:32 pm
It sounds like he Would he benefit from some Extra personal attention after school from a mentor and some extra curricular activity that he can shine in like music, karate, etc.
Also maybe a good therapist.
There’s a program called comfort health that can help find help for children and adults with mental health issues. It’s a branch of hamaspik
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:36 pm
DO NOT PUT DS IN A "SPECIAL" SCHOOL.

I am a SEIT. And I am a big proponent of mainstreaming whenever possible.

Kids who are socially "off" need to be with socially appropriate kids. Being with other kids who
may be even worse socially will only make social skills worse.

And yes your child will be "labeled" and will hurt chances of getting into a mainstream HS.

If the yeshiva is fine with him then Thank Hashem and do everything to keep him in his
mainstream yeshiva.

Especially that he has friends. No guarantee he will have friends if you switch schools.
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livinginisrael




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:41 pm
I send there as well. Im very happy. Its hard switching a kid at 12.5 but it couldreally work. I switched at 6 from mainstream. Could not be happier
The social aspect.can get challenging but hes doing so well in all other areas. My son is also very bright. But theres alwsys 1 or 2 kids who will.be similar to him.
U can pm me as well and id be glad to give u my #. U can also call the school and check it out and get a feel

U may want to try therapy/consistent meds b4 special ed. I did all I could in mainstream b4 I switched my son.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hi,

Sorry, this is long, but I’m desperate for advice and info. Would especially love to hear from current parents in the school and education professionals.

My son is 12.5 years old, very difficult at home. Always attention seeking, defiant, will randomly smack his siblings, pull hair, very sensory - no one can play loudly, sing around him, listen to music etc.

He does not antagonize his friends/classmates physically, instead he really struggles socially and tries to attract friends in strange ways - shows off incessantly, interrupts them with “cooler” stories when conversing with others (half are made up!), is a huge sore loser etc. He doesn’t have many friends. He’s too hard to get along with. When I try to point out patterns in some of his friendships, he’s totally in denial. Everything is someone else’s fault, and everyone is out to get him.

He’s also somewhat ADHD - not extreme, but Rebbeim complain he’s interruptive when he’s off the meds (been on a few for the past few years which he hates) because he calls out a lot with stupid comments. He thinks he has “great lines” and is constantly seeking attention.

The yeshiva is fine keeping him, he’s just floating through though. He himself told me his plan is just to “get through” school for the indefinite future. He wants to open a business already. Very smart kid who is motivated when things are on his terms. Which is basically never things that are actually age appropriate or good for him.

I see him getting less and less interested in learning and growth. He doesn’t daven at all, barely pays attention in class unless he’s trying to show off and will not do a stitch of homework - Hebrew it
English. Sometimes he’ll behave for a day or two and then try to manipulate us into bribing him to continue for some kind of prize.

Most upsetting is his behavior towards his siblings. He really hurts them and it’s not OK that none of them feel safe around him. We’re at our wits end.

A relative suggested this school. I am extremely hesitant for a number of reasons.

He is a very socially aware kid - which is funny because he does so many socially off things. But still cares to keep his clothes, hair, etc in style and is very worried what others think.

I also really didn’t see him as a problem kid until recently - is the past year or two. Maybe I was in denial.

I’m scared he’ll have a hard time integrating into a mainstream school for HS or even being accepted to one.

I’m concerned that he’ll be so angry at us for switching him that he’ll reject it all. He’s a big risk taker in general, and likes to “show us” when he thinks we gave him a consequence he didn’t deserve.

Maybe I’m just immature and care too much what people think.

I’m not sure he really qualifies anyway, though I don’t think he’s learning anything at all where he is now, which is considered a great school by frum standards.

Any thoughts?

My son is in Ohr Dovid/haor beacon. You can message me if you would like.
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