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Help! My 3 years old nocturnal visits
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 9:12 am
He used to sleep very nicely for about 10-12 hours a night. He goes to be around 7:30. Lately, he’s begun to wake up at around 5 and bother us until we allow him to watch something. Obviously, we try to get him back to sleep without it but it generally fails. He watches until like 7 then falls asleep exhausted and will sleep until 11 BUT he has school at 9:20! I wake him up at around 9 and he goes to school late, and comes home cranky and tired.

Help!!! We’re all tired zombies.
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 9:15 am
Stop screen time cold turkey. Replace with books.
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proudmomma




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 9:20 am
Hugs! That is so difficult! What worked for me was putting my dc to sleep later. We did 9pm and it worked most of the time.
Good luck!
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 9:20 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
Stop screen time cold turkey. Replace with books.


This. No screen time early morning no matter what. You shouldn't be giving in to a 3 year old, he'll learn very fast that he can always get his way. He can play in bed with toys and books.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 9:22 am
SuperWify wrote:
He used to sleep very nicely for about 10-12 hours a night. He goes to be around 7:30. Lately, he’s begun to wake up at around 5 and bother us until we allow him to watch something. Obviously, we try to get him back to sleep without it but it generally fails. He watches until like 7 then falls asleep exhausted and will sleep until 11 BUT he has school at 9:20! I wake him up at around 9 and he goes to school late, and comes home cranky and tired.

Help!!! We’re all tired zombies.


Smart kid! He's figured out how to get you to reward him for this behavior, and you have enforced it. Your short term solution has turned into a long term problem.

A friend of mine came up with a brilliant technique. She taught her kids "If you have to wake me up to ask, the answer is automatically 'NO!'". Of course she makes exceptions for nightmares and genuine emergencies. Wanting Shabbos cereal at 4am is not an emergency.

Put your kid back to bed, and tell him that it is not time to get up. Get him one of those clocks that change color when it's time to get up. Red means stay in bed, green means he can get up and come into your room. Clock is red - back to bed. Rinse, repeat as many times as necessary.

It will take you time to unteach him all the bad habits he's picked up. He's going to fight you on this, because he has everything he wants right now. You will have to be consistent every single time, and DH will have to support you 100%. I suggest you take turns putting him back to bed, so he sees that he can't play you against each other - because I promise you that will be his next step.

If he won't go back to sleep, give him picture books and some stuffed animals. He can stay in bed and play quietly until the clock turns green. NO screen time, no audiotapes, no music. Quiet play only.

You need to do this NOW, before he gets bigger, more stubborn, and even more attached to screen time.

Stand strong, and take back your parental authority. YOU CAN DO THIS!
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 1:36 pm
my 3.5 year old daughter was getting up in middle of the night/ early morning for months...I was going out of my mind. In our case it was not for TV it was for a bottle. I recently went to the store with her and she chose a toy which I promised to give her if she slept through the night and only came out when she sees the sun outside her window and it worked! Now I don't give her a bottle in the morning at all (she wakes up refreshed and does not even ask) I know people will wonder why she still has a bottle to begin with...long story but thankfully she only gets one before bed now. Good luck!
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 1:42 pm
1. Are they still napping? Consider stopping the daytime nap. (This worked big time for my little one.)
2. I agree with some kind of reward for staying in bed.
3. Do they like music? can they turn on a CD quietly and get back in bed?
4. My little one (5) started waking up 4-5am and secretly going to watch videos...then she'd often fall asleep again by 7am (I'd find her downstairs asleep), and morning/the day would be a mess. I just reminded her she needed to stay in bed until later (and I took the device to my room every night). I don't care so much if it's after 6am, but earlier is bad news for her.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 2:16 pm
Thanks everyone.

The screen time is an unfortunate side affect of corona. We’ve cut back drastically but he seems to want it at 4 or 5 am. Banging head

I can’t put him to sleep later he’ll get up anyway and evenings are my peaceful time.

I’m going to try to give him books. The problem is many times I wake up and he’s in my bed already kicking and screaming. Should I lock my door? What if he needs us and we don’t hear right away?

FF thanks your advice is very helpful. Can anyone link a recommendation for a good toddler alarm clock?

Thanks!
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amother




Olive
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 2:18 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
Stop screen time cold turkey. Replace with books.

Or with audiobooks... calming audiobooks... it lacks the zombie-effect of the screen...

On myself I observed that calming lectures or audiobooks can be very soothing, they can help falling asleep.

However, you have to be carefull not to take anything with suspense, with energy, with music... just someone telling a story, with a quiet, resounding voice...
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amother




Chocolate
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 2:23 pm
SuperWify wrote:
Thanks everyone.

The screen time is an unfortunate side affect of corona. We’ve cut back drastically but he seems to want it at 4 or 5 am. Banging head

I can’t put him to sleep later he’ll get up anyway and evenings are my peaceful time.

I’m going to try to give him books. The problem is many times I wake up and he’s in my bed already kicking and screaming. Should I lock my door? What if he needs us and we don’t hear right away?

FF thanks your advice is very helpful. Can anyone link a recommendation for a good toddler alarm clock?

Thanks!


We have this clock. My son likes it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D.....6ZTVS
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the world's best mom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 2:25 pm
You should not lock him out of your bedroom. Be there to support him as he learns that there can't be screen time during the night. He will get over it with your support if you stick to your guns. Firm but gentle. No, there will be no watching, but come here for a hug. That kind of thing.
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stillnewlywed




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:21 pm
He's not napping is he?
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:41 pm
stillnewlywed wrote:
He's not napping is he?


Nope.
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:48 pm
I have this issue with my 5 year old. Our rule is if you come in before 6am you can lay with ima or abba but no screens. After 6am you can watch Thomas the train until it’s time to get dressed.
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rgr




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:48 pm
Is he waking to use the bathroom?
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:49 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
We have this clock. My son likes it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D.....6ZTVS


Thank you!
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:50 pm
the world's best mom wrote:
You should not lock him out of your bedroom. Be there to support him as he learns that there can't be screen time during the night. He will get over it with your support if you stick to your guns. Firm but gentle. No, there will be no watching, but come here for a hug. That kind of thing.


Yes that can work if I’m awake enough to be on top of it.. the problem is that I’m usually half asleep and dh who doesn’t have patience gives in.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:52 pm
mha3484 wrote:
I have this issue with my 5 year old. Our rule is if you come in before 6am you can lay with ima or abba but no screens. After 6am you can watch Thomas the train until it’s time to get dressed.


I hear. But 6 am is still too early for him. He needs a full 12 hours.

He’s so tired today it’s kind of cute. Went straight for his blanket. But I’m not giving in Twisted Evil he’s not getting a nap.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:54 pm
rgr wrote:
Is he waking to use the bathroom?


I wish that was the case... he wears pulls ups.

Here my next question- let’s say with firm boundaries and the alarm clock we manage to get him to stay in bed. Then what? He plays with toys and reads books until he falls back asleep but in the end it’s the same issue. He’s still waking up. Am I missing something? He wakes up shabbos even though he knows he won’t get to watch.
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stillnewlywed




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 8:29 pm
SuperWify wrote:
I wish that was the case... he wears pulls ups.

Here my next question- let’s say with firm boundaries and the alarm clock we manage to get him to stay in bed. Then what? He plays with toys and reads books until he falls back asleep but in the end it’s the same issue. He’s still waking up. Am I missing something? He wakes up shabbos even though he knows he won’t get to watch.


11 hours is a reasonable night for a non napping 3 year old.
You put him in at 7:30 pm and don’t get him until 6:30 am (toys/books/ok to wake clock)
Once it’s 6:30 am, assuming he is up already, the day has begun. No nap from 7-9. I think you are on a bad cycle where the “nap” is throwing off his day and not giving him enough sleep pressure to sleep a full night the next night. If you stick to this for a week it should resolve itself.
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