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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Sep 24 2020, 10:45 pm
I sent my daughter to a playgroup this year and I’m traumatized. She woke up late one morning (8.00 instead of 7.30) and I got a scolding that she’s not allowed to sleep in! She did not nap nicely another day and the Morah asked me accusingly if I let her sleep in (I didnt).
I would really pull out, but my daughter who has such a hard time adjusting is doing so well there.
But my baby will be that age next year so I need to find a place for him. I don’t know anyone in the area, my neighbors all send to daycares so I can’t ask them.
Anyone have recommendations for 18-24m and older 2s in the ridge area?
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Thu, Sep 24 2020, 10:57 pm
No but I endured similar abuse in the same neighborhood
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Thu, Sep 24 2020, 11:00 pm
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
No but I endured similar abuse in the same neighborhood


Im not in ridge. It’s my first kid I sent to 2 yr olds now and I was shocked at how many morahs insisted kid need to nap when I was interviewing .
A friend told me the morahs need down time bec with 2 yr olds if a good morah need to be constantly present and active. The morah needs a breather. Not sure if I agree - but that is what I was told. (BH my 2 yr old morah is so gentle and soft and patient. Wants kids to nap but goes about very sweetly and if kid will just rest with book that is ok - but she is miles of traffic from ridge. She grilled me on exactly how I put my ds to sleep so she can mimic my routine to make him happy so he shouldn’t cry)
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Thu, Sep 24 2020, 11:46 pm
Omg! My neighbor (in Ridge area) had a similar story recently! She has a son that age and the morah kicked him out cuz he refused to nap (this woman just had a baby and the kid was having a hard time adjusting to his new sibling, in general he's a pretty good kid) and the morah called the mom and insisted she pick him up right then and there. I suspect it's the same morah 😬
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:53 am
As a morah, that is not ok. It is our job to work with the children as they are. If you are particular about something being necessary, it must be communicated with the mothers when they sign up so that there is clear communication/expectations.

As a mother, you have now learned that this is an important question to ask when looking into a morah for this age child. This is an age where some children are napping and others aren't. Some children are toilet training and others aren't. It is important to find out what the morah's policies are and very revealing about her nature in general.

I didn't send my two year old to playgroup when I lived in that area so I don't have a recommendation.

Hatzlacha!
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Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 11:18 am
Thank you Hashem for full time daycare where I send.
However, the years I sent that age to private Morahs, they came home filthy and exhausted. A nap is a great idea unless you put to sleep very early. Depends on where their place is in family, oldest or younger with older kids.
Also, I want to point out, that if you don't have good feeling about Morah, trust your intuition and pull out. I had to unfortunately do this more than once and even though it's sticky and uncomfortable and complicated money wise, at the end of the day, you need to do what's best for your child and you don't want him/her in teh care of someone who's not fully devoted and loving to your child.
Much Hatzlacha!
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 11:54 am
Funny, I just met someone who has her 2 year old home because she couldn’t find a playgroup that allows naps...
All my kids gave up naps at 2 years old. I don’t know how you can force someone to take a nap. It’s also mean NOT to let a tired child take a nap.
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amother




Green
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:12 pm
I send to someone very out of the way for me (I know who she is and know shes good) because I had such a bad experience over the summer with THREE different babysitters. Including one who continually forgot to give him lunch.
I wish I was eligible for CHS
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amother




Papaya
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 4:29 pm
I'm a morah and I tell all the parents when they register that we will be having nap time!
Exceptions happen here and there but I'm very clear with parents that if they want to skip the nap and put their kids in bed at 6.30pm one month into the school year, they shouldn't send to me!
Obviously if the child is off schedule because of traveling or other I understand but it's very, very hard when you have 10 kids trying to fall asleep and one of them is super noisy because they're not tired!
OP do you actually empathise with the morah? Or just assume that she's paid to watch your kid and it's her problem if your kid is not tired?
I think it's all a question of attitude, flexiblility and communication!
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 11:19 pm
I think op should look for a playgroup that doesn’t do naps if it’s too much of a pressure.
She can either put her child in for a short nap at 2pm or into bed for the night at 6pm.
Hard to know what your baby will be up to next year but the older they are, the more flexible you can be with changing their schedules.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 11:22 pm
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
Im not in ridge. It’s my first kid I sent to 2 yr olds now and I was shocked at how many morahs insisted kid need to nap when I was interviewing .
A friend told me the morahs need down time bec with 2 yr olds if a good morah need to be constantly present and active. The morah needs a breather. Not sure if I agree - but that is what I was told. (BH my 2 yr old morah is so gentle and soft and patient. Wants kids to nap but goes about very sweetly and if kid will just rest with book that is ok - but she is miles of traffic from ridge. She grilled me on exactly how I put my ds to sleep so she can mimic my routine to make him happy so he shouldn’t cry)


Thanks for this! Gives it more context.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 11:27 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
Omg! My neighbor (in Ridge area) had a similar story recently! She has a son that age and the morah kicked him out cuz he refused to nap (this woman just had a baby and the kid was having a hard time adjusting to his new sibling, in general he's a pretty good kid) and the morah called the mom and insisted she pick him up right then and there. I suspect it's the same morah 😬


Oy vey that’s terrible!!
I had difference experience with this morah though. I called one afternoon to check if she was napping. She wasn’t and I offered to pick her up, the morah said its totally fine
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amother




Black
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 11:28 pm
[quote="amother [ Papaya ]"]I'm a morah and I tell all the parents when they register that we will be having nap time!

If you are forced to register a year in advance it is not possible to know if your child will need a nap at that stage.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 11:43 pm
I thought a lot about pulling out. But my daughter who usually takes a long time to get comfortable with new people was happy there almost immediately. That’s a huge thing that tells me there’s a lot that the morah is doing right. My daughter is definitely very happy there, which I do not take lightly. I had a bad experience with a different morah and I could tell from the way my daughter was acting that something was off and pulled her out right away.
My daughter definitely needs to nap still and I am happy that they are napping her. I am a little taken aback by the approach though.
This experience has taught me to ask references about the morahs policies and the research I’ll be doing in the future will be next level!
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Sun, Sep 27 2020, 5:23 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
I'm a morah and I tell all the parents when they register that we will be having nap time!
Exceptions happen here and there but I'm very clear with parents that if they want to skip the nap and put their kids in bed at 6.30pm one month into the school year, they shouldn't send to me!
Obviously if the child is off schedule because of traveling or other I understand but it's very, very hard when you have 10 kids trying to fall asleep and one of them is super noisy because they're not tired!
OP do you actually empathise with the morah? Or just assume that she's paid to watch your kid and it's her problem if your kid is not tired?
I think it's all a question of attitude, flexiblility and communication!

I think only the kids who are tired should be napping.
This is what my amazing babysitter does.
She has a separate room for napping kids.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Sun, Sep 27 2020, 5:26 pm
[quote="amother [ Black ]"]
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
I'm a morah and I tell all the parents when they register that we will be having nap time!

If you are forced to register a year in advance it is not possible to know if your child will need a nap at that stage.

Exactly.
You have to do what’s best for each child and it might change throughout the year too.
And if someone is babysitting 10 kids they should have a helper.
Kids are little people.
I wouldn’t want anyone to force me to nap just because someone else is tired.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 29 2020, 12:56 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
I'm a morah and I tell all the parents when they register that we will be having nap time!
Exceptions happen here and there but I'm very clear with parents that if they want to skip the nap and put their kids in bed at 6.30pm one month into the school year, they shouldn't send to me!
Obviously if the child is off schedule because of traveling or other I understand but it's very, very hard when you have 10 kids trying to fall asleep and one of them is super noisy because they're not tired!
OP do you actually empathise with the morah? Or just assume that she's paid to watch your kid and it's her problem if your kid is not tired?
I think it's all a question of attitude, flexiblility and communication!


I hope you have an assistant if you are watching 10 2 year olds.

I don't think anyone can guarantee that their 2 year old will nap every day, regardless of the time they are put to bed.

I wouldn't send to a Morah who has these "rules" for 2 year olds. There does not seem to be much flexibility in this kind of attitude, to be perfectly honest.

(and actually, my kids still did nap at 2, and I used to send along a blanky, because the Morah I sent to did not have official nap time but would give child space with blanky as needed. She said many kids outgrow napping at that age. I would gladly recommend this Morah to anyone, but she is in Yeshiva area. I also have an ironclad rule for self which is, I only send my kids to Morahs who have an assistant once they reach playgroup age.)
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