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How DO you sleep train your baby
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HakarasHatov




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:16 am
Another spin off. Many mother were against cry it out in another thread. Please tell me how you sleep train your child. If you use CIO or a different method. If you use a different method please explain how you apply it to 6 month old. Or if you just tend to your dc all night let us know. Thanks just looking for info.
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:22 am
At 6 months old, my babies sleep in a porta-crib near my bed. I breastfeed them to sleep and put them into the crib. During the night, I will pull the kid into my bed, nurse them in a side-lying position so that if I'm tired, I will continue sleeping while baby nurses. When baby is done or I wake up (whichever happens first), I put the baby back into the crib because they sleep better there.

The earliest I transferred a baby out of my room into a crib in another room was at 14 months, but I would consider doing it at 11-12 months, not earlier. At that point, my kids are still nursing and transferring them out is my way of reducing nightfeedings. I still go to them when they wake up, but they wake up much much less.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:27 am
HakarasHatov wrote:
Another spin off. Many mother were against cry it out in another thread. Please tell me how you sleep train your child. If you use CIO or a different method. If you use a different method please explain how you apply it to 6 month old. Or if you just tend to your dc all night let us know. Thanks just looking for info.

I keep my baby in a dark room from “ bedtime” and on. Bedtime is supposed to be around 7-8. When my baby wakes up I always nurse him and don’t let him cry. Eventually my baby does larger stretches as I don’t stimulate them at all and will use “ sleep cueing” words as they get older. ( saying a repetitive “ cue word” that they understand means time to sleep) I do this from when a baby is young maybe a month or 2 old. Putting them in for the night at an earlier bedtime in a dark room so they get used to having a “ night”. I will never let the baby cry. I think because sleep is positive and barely any tears are involved all my kids always want to go to sleep and bedtime in general is very smooth bh. I have kids ranging from teen to baby for reference.
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:29 am
I did differently each time according to each child.

Which my oldest I worked full time and I found that he needed to be next to me at night. So dc#1 coslept and nursed upon demand.

Dc#2 slept through the night on her own from when she was very little in her crib

The others I co slept until about the age of 2. Some woke up several times a night and some not at all.

I think no 2 children are alike and mama knows best. Follow your instincts and your babies cues to give them what they need.
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amother




Tan
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:32 am
Ferber for bedtime at 6 months. Worked in 3 days. She didn’t need to be trained overnight
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amother




Khaki
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:32 am
I don't. I put them in bed with me from the day they come home from the hospital. When they fuss I stick my nipple in their mouth and go back to sleep. We both sleep great and are happy.
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:35 am
I don't sleep train.
I schedule feedings by day and night every 3 hours. When the baby is about 2-3 months, I try to increase the night feedings (bigger bottles) and then space the 2 night feedings to 4 hours apart, dropping from 8 feedings per 24 hours to 7. When they're about 4-5 months sometimes they start waking up just once a night, and once early morning.
I don't think one having a full time job, or other kids that need you is a reason to sleep train. Parents give up the world for their child, including sleep.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:35 am
Every child is different. I only needed to really sleep train 1 baby. He was sleeping fine till about 11 months when he started waking up 15 minutes after going to sleep and he just wants to come out of the crib. I go in, lay him down, cover him and give him his paci. I sooth him and tell him it's time to sleep and mom is here. I can sometimes hold him for 2 minutes. I keep doing this till he quiets down. I don't let him cry for more that 4-5 minutes without going to him.
But from when my babies are born, I try to get them used to healthy sleep patters. Day naps in a light room, at night in a dark room. I don't pick up the baby every time baby moves or whimpers. Babies make noise and groan in their sleep, it's normal. If baby cries at night between feedings, I try to sooth the baby without picking up the baby.


Last edited by Blessing1 on Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:36 am
Started working on independent sleep at 2 months. The earlier you start the less crying. Never had any crying at bedtime and my baby has been sleeping through the night since 5 months.
I follow Precious Little Sleep FIO method.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:39 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
I don't sleep train.
I schedule feedings by day and night every 3 hours. When the baby is about 2-3 months, I try to increase the night feedings (bigger bottles) and then space the 2 night feedings to 4 hours apart, dropping from 8 feedings per 24 hours to 7. When they're about 4-5 months sometimes they start waking up just once a night, and once early morning.
I don't think one having a full time job, or other kids that need you is a reason to sleep train. Parents give up the world for their child, including sleep.


Parents don't need to be a martyr because we have kids. Mom doesn't need to be up through the night because we have kids. Part of raising kids is teaching them healthy sleep patterns. Some babies wake up every 3 hours for feedings and stay up for 2 hours and then sleep a lot by day. We need to teach our babies that day is for being up and night is for sleeping. The entire family can lose sleep when baby cries through the night. You can sleep train safely and everyone benefits. Sleep training doesn't mean just letting the baby cry.
Sleep deprivation can cause mental health and physical health issues.


Last edited by Blessing1 on Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:43 am; edited 1 time in total
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stillnewlywed




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:40 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
I don't sleep train.
I schedule feedings by day and night every 3 hours. When the baby is about 2-3 months, I try to increase the night feedings (bigger bottles) and then space the 2 night feedings to 4 hours apart, dropping from 8 feedings per 24 hours to 7. When they're about 4-5 months sometimes they start waking up just once a night, and once early morning.
I don't think one having a full time job, or other kids that need you is a reason to sleep train. Parents give up the world for their child, including sleep.


Lack of sleep causes lack of brain function.
If you can't get your job done at work or take care of your other kids then that is your priority. Sleep training doesn't negatively affect kids. If anything they do better because they have good sleep habits that stick with them as they get older.
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bigsis144




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:42 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
I don't. I put them in bed with me from the day they come home from the hospital. When they fuss I stick my nipple in their mouth and go back to sleep. We both sleep great and are happy.

Same. My almost 2 year old sleeps in my room (she can’t be in a separate room for various reasons). She has a pack and play on the floor, but sometimes the best thing is just to let her nurse a bit, then snuggle next to me and fall back asleep.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:54 am
HakarasHatov wrote:
Another spin off. Many mother were against cry it out in another thread. Please tell me how you sleep train your child. If you use CIO or a different method. If you use a different method please explain how you apply it to 6 month old. Or if you just tend to your dc all night let us know. Thanks just looking for info.



Sleep train the baby? To be a good mommy, the baby needs to sleep train you. To be a good mother, one needs to learn how to function without sleep, so you can be near the baby as soon as he utters a murmur. Teaching a baby how to self-soothe, weaning a baby from night feedings, or encouraging a baby to fall asleep on his own, is just scientifically wrong. Your baby will suffer from attachment issues, have eating disorders, or develop personality disorders because you weren't there for him every moment of the day.

So it's the mothers who need to be sleep trained to function with little, interrupted sleep. It's the mothers who need to be trained how to do advanced multi-tasking - how to be by your baby's side 24/7, while all at the same time tending to your other kids, preparing meals, bringing in Shabbos & YT, running the household and being there for your husband.

But, oh, if the mother needs to help with parnossoh, the science all changes. The baby is completely unaffected if he is at the baby-sitters house from 9-5 every single day. The baby is not affected by the mother's hurried attention given to him during the morning rush out of the house . If the baby-sitter can't be there at his side, the exact moment he lets out a cry, the science then says it's ok because it builds self-soothing skills and patience. And this science must be true, because we push all mothers to take this upon ourselves so their husbands can be in Kollel. We wouldn't be doing this if it has an effect on the kids, would we?

Science is just all about interpreting it to meet a personal ideal or match an emotional state. So right now the science is all about proving that mothers can function as superwomen. The science is all about proving that you can continuously pile up burden after burden on the mother's shoulders without any detrimental effects on her physical and emotional well-being. So the science now states that if you can't be superwoman, you are either weak or something must be wrong with you.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:11 am
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
Sleep train the baby? To be a good mommy, the baby needs to sleep train you. To be a good mother, one needs to learn how to function without sleep, so you can be near the baby as soon as he utters a murmur. Teaching a baby how to self-soothe, weaning a baby from night feedings, or encouraging a baby to fall asleep on his own, is just scientifically wrong. Your baby will suffer from attachment issues, have eating disorders, or develop personality disorders because you weren't there for him every moment of the day.

So it's the mothers who need to be sleep trained to function with little, interrupted sleep. It's the mothers who need to be trained how to do advanced multi-tasking - how to be by your baby's side 24/7, while all at the same time tending to your other kids, preparing meals, bringing in Shabbos & YT, running the household and being there for your husband.

But, oh, if the mother needs to help with parnossoh, the science all changes. The baby is completely unaffected if he is at the baby-sitters house from 9-5 every single day. The baby is not affected by the mother's hurried attention given to him during the morning rush out of the house . If the baby-sitter can't be there at his side, the exact moment he lets out a cry, the science then says it's ok because it builds self-soothing skills and patience. And this science must be true, because we push all mothers to take this upon ourselves so their husbands can be in Kollel. We wouldn't be doing this if it has an effect on the kids, would we?

Science is just all about interpreting it to meet a personal ideal or match an emotional state. So right now the science is all about proving that mothers can function as superwomen. The science is all about proving that you can continuously pile up burden after burden on the mother's shoulders without any detrimental effects on her physical and emotional well-being. So the science now states that if you can't be superwoman, you are either weak or something must be wrong with you.


Omg!!!! I can't decide if this post is serious or sarcastic. A mother is a HUMAN BEING and human beings need sleep. It is impossible for a human being (which includes mothers) to function without sleep. Sleep deprivation is dangerous. Babies DO NOT need to be picked up every time they make a sound! Babies make noise, it's part of their development. Crying is also part of their development. Babies also need adequate sleep so they can function. We can be there for our babies every moment of the day without picking them up every time they whimper. The baby will not grow up with any issues because it wasn't picked up every time they made a sound. Your way of thinking is dangerous and detrimental to mom's mental and physical health. No humam being can function, let alone run a home, without sleep. It's just not possible. A mother has a responsibility towards all her kids, not just the baby. Lack of sleep causes mom not to be 100% present to the rest of the family.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:16 am
Blessing1 wrote:
Omg!!!! I can't decide if this post is serious or sarcastic. A mother is a HUMAN BEING and human beings need sleep. It is impossible for a human being (which includes mothers) to function without sleep. Sleep deprivation is dangerous. Babies DO NOT need to be picked up every time they make a sound! Babies make noise, it's part of their development. Crying is also part of their development. Babies also need adequate sleep so they can function. We can be there for our babies every moment of the day without picking them up every time they whimper. The baby will not grow up with any issues because it wasn't picked up every time they made a sound. Your way of thinking is dangerous and detrimental to mom's mental and physical health. No humam being can function, let alone run a home, without sleep. It's just not possible. A mother has a responsibility towards all her kids, not just the baby. Lack of sleep causes mom not to be 100% present to the rest of the family.


Sorry - it was all sarcasm from the start to the finish! This is the attitude I picked up from the CIO thread. I just forgot to put the sarcasm alert, my apologies!!
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:19 am
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
Sorry - it was all sarcasm from the start to the finish! This is the attitude I picked up from the CIO thread. I just forgot to put the sarcasm alert, my apologies!!


Omg omg!! Ok!!! What a relief!! On imamother it's really hard to know when someone is being sarcastic, we should add an emoji when we're being sarcastic.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:23 am
Blessing1 wrote:
Omg omg!! Ok!!! What a relief!! On imamother it's really hard to know when someone is being sarcastic, we should add an emoji when we're being sarcastic.


Very Happy Very Happy - Is there a sarcastic emoji?
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:24 am
I like the book” the happy sleeper”. I was hoping my daughter would sleep on her own but she was a terrible sleeper so we started using the methods around six months while still nursing at night. She stopped nursing around a year so she was able to sleep through the night.
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:28 am
Sleep training starts for my kids at 3 months, which is when the doctor says they physically are ready for a 6-hour stretch, and if they wake up before that it’s habit not hunger. I follow Dr. Harvey Karp’s method from the day they are born - a good bedtime routine, swaddling, shushing, etc. From day one I work on keeping them up for longer stretches during the day and a dark quiet room at night. When sleep training I go to the baby if they cry, pat their back, give them pacifier, etc. but no bottle and no taking them out unless they need a diaper change. Not at all CIO because I’m there whenever they cry, but it works like a charm.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:36 am
First, I just start with setting a time that is "night time" sometime early on. That's the time when lights are dimmer, sounds are quieter. Nothing else really changes in how much I hold my baby, etc. The only thing that does change is that I don't talk to/play with/stimulate the baby so much during that window. (I would hold, cuddle, feed, etc.) Then, I start working in a bedtime "routine"...bathtime, say shema, change into "pajamas" around the start of "night time". I will say, the major thing this requires is that I have to live like this too. We can't be running around at night to simchas or this or that, especially as the baby gets older, and expect them to just adopt a sleep routine/sleep time. Then, after 2-5 months, depending on the baby, maybe they nurse to sleep or doze off in my arms, and I put them down. Maybe they need a little backrub while they lay in their crib/bassinet (if not rolling yet). I do use pacifiers because I don't nurse exclusively (long complicated story) because I do find them helpful with enabling the child to self soothe. With all my kids, there was a point eventually, when they were not going to fully fall asleep if I was there. And that's when I might do the whole routine, and back patting, and have them calm and then leave...and maybe they would cry...and if it hit 5 min, I'd go in, pat their backs for a few min, and leave again when they were calm and relaxed. For some, that was enough. Maybe they'd fuss for a few and then fall asleep. Sometimes they would protest more if/when I left, so then I would decide to leave them to fuss/cry longer. But, these were not marathon crying sessions. These were 5-15 min, maybe only a couple nights, and then they learned to be ok settling down with the bedtime routine, a little cuddling/back patting, etc. Some of my kids also liked music, so I'd put music on softly.
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