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Can I pass things to another man?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 28 2020, 3:35 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Reminds me of when I went back to teach after maternity leave and still was Nida and my assistant asked for a stapler and I put it on the desk instead of handing it to her... I laughed at myself when I realized what I did


My ex never, ever passed anything to me directly. Considering that I've had a hysterectomy and was never niddah, it was so weird!

He said it was because of tznius. If you never pass anything, then no one knows if you're niddah or not, so they won't be speculating about what you'll be doing later that night.

At the time I thought it was another chumra I hadn't been aware of. Little did I know that it was just the tip of his religious OCD problem. Confused
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:50 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
My ex never, ever passed anything to me directly. Considering that I've had a hysterectomy and was never niddah, it was so weird!

He said it was because of tznius. If you never pass anything, then no one knows if you're niddah or not, so they won't be speculating about what you'll be doing later that night.

At the time I thought it was another chumra I hadn't been aware of. Little did I know that it was just the tip of his religious OCD problem. Confused


Not trying to derail this conversation, but I do want to mention that in some circles, men will never pass items directly to their wife for the reason given to your by your ex. A friend of mine, whose husband subscribed to this minhag, said he wouldn't pass anything to her even when she was obviously pregnant (and therefore not niddah). However eyebrow-raising it is to me, it is a legitimate minhag and not one invented by your ex.
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Mon, Sep 28 2020, 10:01 pm
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Not trying to derail this conversation, but I do want to mention that in some circles, men will never pass items directly to their wife for the reason given to your by your ex. A friend of mine, whose husband subscribed to this minhag, said he wouldn't pass anything to her even when she was obviously pregnant (and therefore not niddah). However eyebrow-raising it is to me, it is a legitimate minhag and not one invented by your ex.

Yup. Very common. But in public only.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 28 2020, 10:47 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
Yup. Very common. But in public only.

In this case, if there are other people around, even their own kids, many couples will be careful not to directly pass.
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