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Forum -> Coronavirus Health Questions
First time in 45 years.



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 1:07 pm
My father will not be bentching me personally.

I know, know, I should and am grateful that I have a father.
I know I’m lucky, it’s a tremendous schus to have so much good in my life.

But it still hurts me, and I know it must be so painful for my father.
We haven’t been together since Purim.
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lk1234




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 1:09 pm
Crying

Hugs
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 1:10 pm
Absolutely painful! I hope he’s bentching you over the phone and you close your eyes to picture the real thing. Hashem should bentch us with a healthy year and may you get a personal bracha from your father next year this time!
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 4:01 pm
Hugs and kisses. It's extremely painful and I feel your pain. Hug You should be zoche to spend many simchas together and he should bless you in person ad meah ve'esrim shana.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 4:04 pm
Im 60 now
I havent had a father since I was 21

A git gbenched yor
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 4:09 pm
I feel bad, I have siblings that weren’t benched by their father after their 1st and 3rd birthday, because of his passing,but I feel your pain.
There is something very sad to have a parent that you can not come in contact with personally while they are still alive.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 4:12 pm
That's so hard.

I am a geyores and never am bentsched by YK, and some years, I feel very sad about that. It's hard to not have that. I can see why that pains you, OP.

It should be a kapporah...g'mar chasima tova.
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tzimip




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 27 2020, 4:14 pm
Just went to my father's kever. It's been 19 years since he benched. OP I feel for you.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 28 2020, 3:23 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:

I know, know, I should and am grateful that I have a father.


Everyone's pain is valid. This is not the Misery Olympics, and nobody "wins".

IYH you will have many, many more years with your father. Hug
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twizzlers1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 28 2020, 4:10 pm
That is so beautiful that you have been able to get a bracha for 45 years! I'm sure it is very painful not to have it this year and you sound so grateful for what you do have.
My father started giving me a blessing over the phone each Friday about 20 years ago. We live in different countries so I don't get one very often in person but it is such a beautiful way to keep up a weekly connection.Of course we try to speak more often but sometimes the week just gets busy so we know that for sure we have that one phone call every week.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 28 2020, 4:40 pm
Same. He's dead, been just a year
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 28 2020, 4:50 pm
I haven't seen my father since January. Although I haven't received an in person bracha from him Erev Yom Kippur since I was single so I don't miss that. I do miss seeing my parents but I would have to quarantine on return for 2 weeks if I went to visit them, plus I don't feel its a very safe thing to do since I would have to fly. (and I have kids in school)

This is a hard year for everybody, in a million different ways. Sad

The saddest is when people who lost elderly parents or spouses before the pandemic say they are happy their loved one is not living through this, alone and isolated in a home or hospital.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 28 2020, 4:56 pm
Raisin wrote:


The saddest is when people who lost elderly parents or spouses before the pandemic say they are happy their loved one is not living through this, alone and isolated in a home or hospital.
I will agree. My mom and I are comforted to know we had all normal.
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amother
Violet


 

Post Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:39 pm
My kids haven’t been here for YK since they finished HS. I bench them over the phone.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 29 2020, 1:16 am
((HUGS))... pretend you are overseas this year or something...
We did go to my father as usual. All of his children and children in law had the virus in march and none of us have reason to think we're carriers now. So far in my community people are visiting family.
((HUGS))
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 29 2020, 1:23 am
As we all said on Pesach, we are apart this year so that we can be together for many more years to come.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 29 2020, 9:38 am
OP, your father might be close to greatest generation and taking it in stride, but I'm sure it's hitting him too.
There's a great Rabbi Schachter shiur on the Chaim Heritage Foundation Chazak line (press 5, then 2, then 222) about setting and maintaining records. It's not quite analogous but I think you'll like it.
You're entitled to be mellow about this. But here's the thing about bittersweet: let yourself enjoy and celebrate the sweet. Jews have a special resilient and adaptable gene. We'll find a way to do it as best we can under the circumstances and we should celebrate the triumph. (Another shiur that comes to mind: Rabbi Shay Schachter on YUTorah called Imitation Mitzvos.)
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Tue, Sep 29 2020, 9:42 am
Mama Bear wrote:
((HUGS))... pretend you are overseas this year or something...
We did go to my father as usual. All of his children and children in law had the virus in march and none of us have reason to think we're carriers now. So far in my community people are visiting family.
((HUGS))


Hi I'm in your community and we're not visiting elderly or are testing before.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 1:43 am
My parents arent elderly, they're middle aged.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 5:20 am
I live in Israel and my parents live in NY. I haven't seen them in 14 months. They were supposed to come for succos but can't now and we don't know when either of us will be able to fly to the other.
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