So frustrated with my recently turned 2 year old

amother

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 2:43 pm

She's adorable and sweet but so, so difficult. Everything is a battle. I give choices, it doesn't help. Can't get her dressed without a chase around the house, can't change her diaper, can't bathe her. Everything is a fight with kicking and running. When she does something she's not supposed to do, like bang a toy on delicate furniture or take something she can't have, and she knows the consequence is that I take it away, she always throws it away as she sees me approach.

What do I do? I know this is just a stage. This stage is lasting very long though and I just don't have the strength for a daily fight, numerous times a day.

I've tried positivity, choices, independence, distraction etc. The instinct is always to run away so I don't even have a chance.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 2:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don’t have any advice but this sounds like my little girl who also just turned 2! She does this type of behavior much more with me than my DH. Haven’t really figured out why yet...

thunderstorm

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 2:51 pm

Lol. This sounds exactly like my two year old daughter who turned two , two months ago. It is a stage and it will pass, but I won’t deny the fact that it makes me crazy.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 3:05 pm

Just keep reminding yourself that it's totally age appropriate.

Right now, she needs you to be consistent, and not give in no matter how hard she tries to wear you down.

As far as the running away goes, see if you can corner her and close the door so she can't get out while you are trying to dress or change her. When she throws or drops the toy, don't give an emotional reaction. Just pick up the toy and take it away, without comment.

Don't forget to breathe. Fake being calm until you can do it automatically. Eventually she won't push your buttons so much (until she finds new ways to push your buttons!)

amother

Oak

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 3:07 pm

Do you give lots of choices? That definitely helps with my two year old. “Which pair of pajamas do you want, this one or that one?” “Do you want a bath now or in 5 minutes?” Etc. It really helps her feel in control of her life, which is what she’s craving at this stage in her life.

amother

Teal

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 3:11 pm

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

I also have this age and this doesn’t help, he says “I don’t want any!”

It’s hard! But normal!

Rachel Shira

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 3:12 pm

You might do this already, but I’d work very hard on being extremely boring and emotionless when she does something like that. If she throws a toy as you’re coming to get it - silently pick up and leave the room, don’t even look at her. If she runs away when getting dressed, I would not chase her. Wait till she’s in a spot that you can calmly pick her up from. That in addition to giving a million choices, even silly ones, and giving a ton of acknowledgement for the times she does listen or is doing what you want her to.

amother

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 4:19 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

I try to play it cool but like before she took a big bus and hit my on my ear and shoulder without it. I didn't see it coming. How am I supposed to play cool? And I would love to let her not get dressed but in the morning I need her to get dressed so we can get to school/work.

At least I know it's normal and not just me being a bad parent.

amother

Smokey

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 5:47 pm

Ugh this is soooo hard, others are right so typical but also so frustrating.

I saw something that really helped me, it was three steps:

1)name and validate their feeling: "It seems like you're feeling so excited to play right now. I get excited, too sometimes!"

2) hold firm to your boundary: "but right now, we're getting dressed."

3) redirect towards fun: "let's sing a song while we get you dressed!"

Honestly this approach has worked very well for me in many instances, it's worth a shot! I hope things get easier soon.

Sage

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 9:15 pm

Make sure that then you chase her around the house and are trying to get her to do some you are not reacting as you do it. No making jokes, playing "I'm going to catch you," telling her that "you need to get dressed..." Just don't say anything. Pick her up and dress her, bathe her etc. While you are dressing/bathing her - give positive praise about what your are doing.

Just my ideas -