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Should my husband and son not go to shul?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 6:32 pm
I’m BH starting my ninth month. A lot of people in our area have been testing positive. However shuls are basically open with no precautions. I can’t ask my rav for advice, because he kept his minyan open as usual almost all throughout the beginning of COVID. So I have conflicted feelings, as I really try to trust his advice and psakim. I just don’t know what the right thing is to do. Should my husband and son stop going to minyan? I don’t think they’re going to look around for a minyan that’s following social distancing protocol unless it easily falls on their lap. So the alternative is likely no minyan. Would really appreciate advice!
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 6:42 pm
OOC why are you more concerned now than you were early in your pregnancy? (I ask as someone who is in 9th month too)
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 6:42 pm
I found minyan for my husband to go. I’ve heard that davening at the same time would be a good runner up, but I don’t know how they can time it at the same time.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 6:43 pm
I don't know where you are, but if there are no options that are following all state/local, DOH and medical requirements, I think it's probably prudent to not go.

Never underestimate davening too that one such option does, painlessly, fall into their laps.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 6:52 pm
I would definitely try to find them a minyan.

The 9th month thing means that if dh tests positive or even gets quarantined, he can't go to the hospital with you when you go into labor. And if he is positive and you are exposed, they will treat you accordingly in the hospital. I know someone who went into labor two and a half weeks early, the day after her dh got diagnosed. That means at least ten days of him not helping with the baby or any other kids, and nobody else in the house to help.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 6:53 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
OOC why are you more concerned now than you were early in your pregnancy? (I ask as someone who is in 9th month too)

I’m not.. I’m more concerned now that it’s coming back to our area. At the beginning he didn’t go to shul, even though his shul stayed open. But then almost no one was going. Now it seems many people are so I’m unsure.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:03 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
I would definitely try to find them a minyan.

The 9th month thing means that if dh tests positive or even gets quarantined, he can't go to the hospital with you when you go into labor. And if he is positive and you are exposed, they will treat you accordingly in the hospital. I know someone who went into labor two and a half weeks early, the day after her dh got diagnosed. That means at least ten days of him not helping with the baby or any other kids, and nobody else in the house to help.

He’s not going to randomly go to any minyan. He’d rather just skip. So I want to make sure I’m asking him to do the right thing which is likely not davening at all with a minyan.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:14 pm
my sister just gave birth, & her husband tested positive right after.
While I would so like to help her with taking her kids & would have done it, there is no way to do that now.
so she has a newborn + a sick husband + a # of other kids to take care of.

Personally, if he doesnt have a minyan with precautions, I dont even understand the question.
there is no in between. I dont see how going to a minyan that isnt taking precautions is better than not davening at all with a minyan Hiding

Bshaah Tova!
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thanks




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:22 pm
Does he wear a mask when he goes? Does he go to work/school?
Where are they the rest of the day? Why are you only asking about minyan?
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:27 pm
thanks wrote:
Does he wear a mask when he goes? Does he go to work/school?
Where are they the rest of the day? Why are you only asking about minyan?

Does he have his own space at work? Is his school possibly (probably) holding online classes? Are people singing and talking right beside him at work or school? Does he go to work or school three times a day, each time with different attendees, none of whom can be tracked by attendance records?
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:50 pm
If you ask around you may find a few outdoor minyanim. For sure there a few here in Baltimore.
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oakandfig19




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 8:08 pm
You should ask your OB.
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 8:30 pm
thanks wrote:
Does he wear a mask when he goes? Does he go to work/school?
Where are they the rest of the day? Why are you only asking about minyan?


Minyan is a high risk environment. But yes, her dh should be careful everywhere, especially in places with an uptick.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:26 pm
thanks wrote:
Does he wear a mask when he goes? Does he go to work/school?
Where are they the rest of the day? Why are you only asking about minyan?

It seems that masks only work minimally to protect you if no one else is wearing one, esp in shul where no one is social distancing and all davening out loud. At work, his office is pretty private and he’s definitely not on top of people. My son currently has bein hazmanim and his school has been updating us with stricter social distancing plans they are putting in place. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to when school starts though. Forget about his school which is in NY. My daughter is in school here in Lakewood which I’m assuming will continue to take zero precautions. Also my son’s school has an option for distance learning should we choose to do so, but my daughter’s will not unless they officially close. For now just taking it by the day.. and kids are off for the next couple weeks.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:27 pm
please ask your doctor
would try to arrange or find an outdoor sd minyan for him
You are asking important questions.
B'shaah Tovah!
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:34 pm
Can you get 8 more men together to make an outdoor minyan?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:37 pm
ra_mom wrote:
Can you get 8 more men together to make an outdoor minyan?

Probably, but my husband just isn’t the type to arrange it. He’s a good guy and careful about minyan but also laid back about these things. If it’s inconvenient he won’t do it. He also wouldn’t appreciate me arranging it. It’s more like, sure, makes sense, we won’t go shul. V’zeh hu.
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amother
Green


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 1:19 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
I would definitely try to find them a minyan.

The 9th month thing means that if dh tests positive or even gets quarantined, he can't go to the hospital with you when you go into labor. And if he is positive and you are exposed, they will treat you accordingly in the hospital. I know someone who went into labor two and a half weeks early, the day after her dh got diagnosed. That means at least ten days of him not helping with the baby or any other kids, and nobody else in the house to help.


I just started my 9th month and this is my concern.
Not even trying to talk DH out of minyan though, as I don't think he'd agree nor am I sure that that specifically is where we'd be exposed. I am, for myself, trying to be more careful. However, my daughter was in school this month. Dh is going to work, and doing errands/ groceries. Why abstain from shul in particular?
I admit though- I'm anxious.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 7:36 am
amother [ Green ] wrote:
I just started my 9th month and this is my concern.
Not even trying to talk DH out of minyan though, as I don't think he'd agree nor am I sure that that specifically is where we'd be exposed. I am, for myself, trying to be more careful. However, my daughter was in school this month. Dh is going to work, and doing errands/ groceries. Why abstain from shul in particular?
I admit though- I'm anxious.

I wrote above why shul in particular. You being more careful won’t help if your other family members are not.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 7:37 am
What does your dr. advise?
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