The Sukkah and Loss of Privacy

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:05 pm

I kind of like it. I enjoy that one big family feeling that lasts the few days we're all in our sukkahs. I like the sound of neighbor's baby crying, my toddler whining, other neighbor making kiddush, big family further down the block singing, neighbor yelling at her five year old to get his hand out of the salad, and the clatter of everyone's plates, cutlery, doors slamming, turning into one shared symphony. I'd probably go crazy if it lasted all year.

amother

Beige

Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:11 pm

No because in the sukkah we’re aware that we’re really in public and have to be on our best behavior. And we don’t really sing in the sukkah because we prefer not to disturb others. Dh makes kiddush but he’s not loud about it, and at most we’ll sing shir hamaalos.

I do resent ppl who peek into our sukkah as they pass by, or worse, come right up to it to look in. Unless you know us, that’s rude imo

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Oct 01 2020, 8:11 pm

I go crazy cuz the next house from us is super Frum amazing people who would never yell at their kids or say anything by the table that isn’t Torah related....my kids are regular normal children that fight and talk about anything. I always try to have my meals ready the second Davening is over so we can be halfway through by the time they start.
I always wish on Succos we lived on a few acre property.

amother

Gold

Thu, Oct 01 2020, 8:18 pm

No we're not on top of our neighbors and don't make so much noise anyway.

DH used to live on a very frum block in Queens and he has fond memories of one family starting to sing "We are succah number one, number one! Who is number two?" And the neighbors would pick it up and sing "We are succah number two, number two! Who is number three?" And the song would continue all around the block until it came back to the first succah. When I was growing up we had sefardi neighbors and we used to love hearing them sing in the succah. My father would bring them over some of our Ashkenazi food and they'd send back some of their yummy food. It was so nice!

PeanutMama

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 12:31 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

Oh my gosh this made me smile

amother

Ruby

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 12:46 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

Too funny.

I was going to say that it's really not different than the rest of the year. Yep, Queens.

Ema of 5

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 12:53 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

We used to have singing contests with our next door neighbors, we loved it!!
Isn’t there a song about an ashkenazi family and sfardi family doing just what you described?

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 4:16 am

Nah, I actually love hearing all the different families singing zemirot. And whatever else we hear, its just life. Its fine. Nobody is perfect.

Mayflower

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 5:09 am

I love it. We used to live in an apartment with lots of Jewish neighbors and the kids loved hearing everyone's zemiros. We would answer omein when we heard kiddush etc... It was a real yom tov atmosphere.

We really miss it now that we moved (a few years ago). While there a quite a few Jewish families on our street, they live either across the street, or further down, or they're away for sukkos, and we don't hear anyone... Much too quiet (and we also feel we have to keep the kids quiet much more since we don't want to disturb our non-Jewish neighbors.

freilich

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 6:53 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

We used to have singing contests with our next door neighbors, we loved it!!
Isn’t there a song about an ashkenazi family and sfardi family doing just what you described?

Yes there is. Abie Rottenberg journeys. Song is called sfashkenaz!

ChanieMommy

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 7:02 am

Quote:

The Sukkah and Loss of Privacy

Now that you say it, it strikes me that in some regions of the world people live with this level of privacy or no privacy all the time...

You opened new horizons to me, imagining how people keep their privacy in a village built of huts... or nomads in tents...

thank you...

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 7:17 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Anyone else hate that all neighbors are privy to your family’s noise and fights and off key singing?

Yes!!!! I hate and dread sukkos for this reason.
I grew up with neighbours but where I live now I feel people are much more judgmental and I feel incredibly self conscious of every fight and crying that goes on.

rae

Fri, Oct 02 2020, 8:59 am

I love sukkos. I love having an extra room in my house. I love that my home stays neater cuz we’re all eating outside. I love when neighbors join in to our singing. I love the fresh feeling of a new season coming when we have to pile sweaters on and huddle together outside.