Would you name children after someone w/ flawed character?

amother

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:03 pm

For instance, a grandparent who had an affair. My family found this out after my grandparent’s death. Or even flaws that aren’t so extreme, like being narcissistic or having a quick temper. Would you still name your children after an ancestor/grandparent with significant character flaws?

Edit: I added this question below but I’ll put it here as well. For those who wouldn’t name their children after someone with a flawed character, would it make a difference to you if that person was a Holocaust survivor?

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:04 pm

No I wouldn't, it would remind me of the person with flawed character and who knows it could be a self fulfilling prophecy in the end!

amother

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:08 pm

For those who wouldn’t name their children after someone with a flawed character, would it make a difference to you if that person was a Holocaust survivor?

Frumme

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:10 pm

Not sure myself, so following. I think DH really wants to name a child after one of his grandfathers. This specific grandparent had many great qualities (very gifted artistically, for example), but he went OTD (to be fair, he had gone through the Holocaust, and I'm not sure if going OTD counts as a "character flaw."). I'm not sure how I feel about naming a child after someone who went OTD, but I was thinking that I might add my Zaidy's name-- he was a baal teshuva! Maybe a good compromise? Very Happy

Last edited by Frumme on Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

Reality

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:11 pm

Where do you draw the line? Everyone has character flaws?

I named one of my children after a grandparent that used to say really mean things about my weight. But I love my parent!!! And it made my parent so happy that I used the name!!! Totally worth it for me. I did add a name but I did that for all my kids. Added or combined names.

My child is nothing like that grandparent.

I believe naming after a relative honors the relative that is still alive. It shows your love.

I believe people who think it's a shared neshamah or whatever see what they want to see and create their own destiny! They are so busy watching to see if said child has the same characteristics that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

amother

Amber

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:15 pm

Last I checked,
Leah cried and wasn't loved
Sarah and Rachel were barren
Rivka help her son device her husband
Miriam spoke LH-about Moshe no less, and had tzarat.

Good luck finding a perfect, flawless person.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:22 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

Shlomo was too sure of himself and had too many wives
Rechavam was a foolish little pisher whose stupidity led to the breaking of his father's kingdom
Aharon's mistake led to the eigel being made
Reuven moved his father's bed, or had relations with his father's wife
Yehuda and Tamar...
Shimon and Levi massacred an entire city without their father's permission

amother

Amber

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:25 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

Exactly my point.

amother

Beige

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:27 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

For those who wouldn’t name their children after someone with a flawed character, would it make a difference to you if that person was a Holocaust survivor?

Not unless you add a name.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

For those who wouldn’t name their children after someone with a flawed character, would it make a difference to you if that person was a Holocaust survivor?

It wouldn't make a difference to me, but of course it depends on the flaw, if it's a really horrible one of course not, or any flaw that could cause you to have bad feelings or feel bad, but if it's a regular flaw like Faigy talks too much, then it's okay.

amother

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:28 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Not unless you add a name.

Meaning you wouldn’t name your child after a Holocaust survivor with a flawed character unless you added another name to it to make a shinui?

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:29 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

Exactly my point.

I know, I'm agreeing with you. And adding examples for those who might think your examples are exceptions.

Only four people never sinned.

avrahamama

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:30 pm

We don't name after people where their flaws are too close for comfort. It's one thing to name after a person in tanach who made a mistake and another to name after a relative who caused you pain or grief.

amother

Amber

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:31 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

I know, I'm agreeing with you. And adding examples for those who might think your examples are exceptions.

Only four people never sinned.

No, 5, you didn't factor in ME LOL

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:32 pm

These were all enormous tzadikim, beyond our comprehension. Their flaws are mentioned and magnified, as these were their only flaws. And they’re not quite as simplistic as you make them sound. I don’t really think you can make comparisons here.

Of course every person is flawed. I think it depends how much of a “flaw” it is and how much it bothers you. I wouldn’t want to name after someone who was truly not a good person.

zaq

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:37 pm

Everyone has a flawed character; some flaws are more visible, that’s all. You don’t name for an outright Rasha, but chances are that for every Rasha with a given name there was an earlier tzaddik with the same name. Did you know that Esav was married to a Yehudis? (Yet Leah named her son Yehuda. Did you know that there was a Rabbi Yishmael Kohen Gadol in the Mishnah?

If your dad was despicable or your uncle unspeakable name your kid after another person with the same name.