After 120, do you want your grandchildren to name after you?

amother

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:36 pm

Naming threads got me wondering...

Is it meaningful to know that your descendents will name after you?

Do you care if your descendents choose random names they like in lieu of yours?

Do you hate your name and hope no one uses it?

Do you even think about it, or is it just me?

Discuss.

NotInNJMommy

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:39 pm

Please Hashem, after 120, I hope I have many descendants to name after me...but I don't plan for it...and I would never tell someone, including family, what to name their child(ren). I don't have a lot of people to remember me in my family. It would be nice to be remembered.

ETA: It's a normal name. It's common enough in my community, and in the velt, it's reasonable enough...not super common, but not particularly ethnic or difficult to pronounce.

Last edited by NotInNJMommy on Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:50 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Mustard

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:48 pm

No and yes. I hate my name because I suffered a lot of teasing even from adults who should have known better, so long ago I decided I don’t want to ruin another innocent child’s life with my name. OTOH one does want to be remembered in a tangible way. My compromise is to recommend a name with a related meaning like Simcha for Fraidie or use the real name as a middle name. I think I’d prefer the former to the latter.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:48 pm

Yes, not just for my sake but for all of the ancestors I have who also had my name, who I was named for. It always makes me emotional to think my great grandmother whom I was named for was named for her grandmother. And that grandmother must have been named for another grandmother. All the way back for hundreds and hundreds if not thousands of years. We’re a part of a tradition and a chain and our names are central to that.

amother

Peach

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 2:49 pm

No I hate my name.
And what I hate more is that my mother hates my name, too, and added a gorgeous name in the hopes of calling me that gorgeous name, but my father didn’t let.

watergirl

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 3:11 pm

How can one of us, the living, know what our neshamos will want in Olam Ha'Emes? Maybe once we are there, we will see that it does not matter as much as we thought it did down here.

I would like to say here, now, that I want my kids to use the name that makes them happy. I cant do to my kids and grandkids IYH what my in-laws and father did to me. I will tell my kids to use what ever name they want. My mother specifically told me as she was dying NOT to use her name. And I think its horrible, the pressure people go through. Its horrible.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 3:45 pm

I will tell my children and grandchildren to use names which feel meaningful to them. If they decide that's my name, great. If not, not.
I did name my DD after my grandmother.
My name is literally one of the most common Jewish names ever. I assume my descendants will use it if they feel I am worthy enough to be named after. But I will never pressure them.

My stepchildren lost their mother when they were young, step-DD has already said she doesn't like her mother's name and doesn't want to use it. It could be it's too painful, I don't know the real reason. It could be that when she does have a daughter she may feel more of a connection to her mother and change her mind. We don't know. As of now she is not dating anyone seriously so she has time, but DH would never pressure any of his children to use their mother's name if they don't want to.

tweety1

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 3:46 pm

I have one extremely interesting name, weird, uncommon. One very very common name. I'm called by both. I want to write it in my will to never call the uncommon name as I hate it hate hate. I'm only called by it cuz a grandmother who I always hated insisted on I being called that name cuz it's her side.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 3:48 pm

my english name sounds like a last name but it is a nice name
I would like someone to be named after me my mother just passed away and sephardim dont use a middle name so her name wont be used it goes to the living mother in law

amother

Pearl

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 3:50 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

No I hate my name.
And what I hate more is that my mother hates my name, too, and added a gorgeous name in the hopes of calling me that gorgeous name, but my father didn’t let.

My parents also added a beautiful name to my not so pretty (although typical) second name. And when I was older I chose to be called by the prettier name. So I’m grateful they gave it as an option. And of course I’d love if my descendants would use it, but if for some reason, with time the name became ugly, I certainly wouldn’t want a child to have a name she didn’t like. I try to name my kids nice names, or if the name is boring in my opinion, then I try to come up with a pretty/cute nickname that I like better.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 4:04 pm

I think about this often. I would love to be named after but I had terrible tzaros in my life and am scared the person named after me would get my mazel too. Therefore I would likely tell my kids not to name after me.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 4:05 pm

I would want them to remember me with love and respect and to want to name for me. I don't think I would care if it was my actual name or poetic liberty, but rather that they thought of me and hope for the child to have some quality of mine that they admire and that the name makes them think of me....

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 4:06 pm

There are different things that can be done for a neshama. Mishnayos, tzedaka, starting a some goodwill project-gemach, sefer torah or something for a shul etc.

Instead of grandparents on insisting names they can do other nice things for a neshama.

yonabets

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 4:41 pm

I have a nice common name .But I sincerely couldn't care less if they name their kids after me.
I daven that my descendants will be good jews and happy jews...with יראת שומים and אהבת ה...a life full of joy and love ...
But their names?!? I really don't care!

amother

Magenta

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 5:12 pm

Yes! BE"H I want to be called grandma/ safta/ bubbie insert my name- I want to make sure they know my name and my nieces and nephews know my Hebrew name- even though I am usually called by my english name.

amother

Jade

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 5:15 pm

I don't want anyone to be named after me. My life has been exceptionally difficult and I do think that there is mazel connected to a name. I wouldn't wish my mazel on anyone.