Moms of large families

amother

Emerald

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:04 am

Sure.
Some days I’m supermom.

But many days I’m:

super tense.
Super impatient.
Super overwhelmed
Super inconfident
Super doubtful

Etc....

amother

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:05 am

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

What do you call large?

I know large is relative, but I'd say 6+ , since I have 5 and I'm not managing Wink

amother

Mauve

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:26 am

Lol I think you're superwoman with 5! Im having my 5th and it's busy!! I'm saying that this is the last for sure bc I'm so sick, and don't want to go through another pregnancy again!

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:27 am

I have two and not coping, and my neighbor with 13 is doing wonderfully. You can’t just look at the numbers.

amother

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:32 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

I have two and not coping, and my neighbor with 13 is doing wonderfully. You can’t just look at the numbers.

I really cannot wrap my head around how someone can feed, clothe, do laundry, give attention to, keep track of and take to appointments, get out of the house, go on family outings etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc with a large family. I honestly think only superhumans are capable of it.

Edited to add a couple more etcs...

gold21

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:33 am

Agreed.

Can I add to the good vibes on this thread?

Moms going through IF:

You must be superhuman.

Last edited by gold21 on Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:33 am; edited 1 time in total

hodeez

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:33 am

I mean I have a large family for my age, and I feel like every day survived is a supernatural feat Smile

saralem

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:33 am

It’s all relative. One child can fill up all your time and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Or 12. I don’t necessarily think the total number is significant. I have a bunch kah but I think what was hardest was how spaced they were and whether they had physical or emotional illness.
A dear person once told when I asked her how she managed her large family, “I got them one at a time”.

amother

Mauve

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:35 am

saralem wrote:

I agree. A family of 3,4,5 can have just 1 child who's special needs or has behaviour issues which makes everything a lot harder than if someone had 8 angel kids lol. It's not quantity, it's quality is what I always say!

amother

Mint

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:40 am

Definitely relative to how relaxed you are as a parent ex do you cut kids nails every second week or just leave them?
are kids getting hair cuts and shoes twice a year? Not saying necessary but makes it "harder" to parent more kids when u r more meticulous.
Also I have 5 bigger kids (teens) who r BH well bh BH but super needy of my time. I find it a lot.
One can have 8 really easy kids....

dankbar

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:50 am

Big families make older children responsible for younger children. It's not all on the mother. They help with laundry, cleaning, baths/bedtime, homework with younger sibs, babysitting.

They have each others for entertaining, mom doesn't have to be involved in entertaining kids spaced apart or arranging playdates.

You don't need so many toys with siblings as company. You don't need so many clothes because you wash laundry daily etc...

amother

Mauve

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:55 am

dankbar wrote:

Yes and this also applies to people with smaller families but where the kids are more spaced out.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 12:05 pm

I have almost 10 ken ayin hara. I grew up in a much smaller family and I probably have ADD so you can imagine it was pretty challenging bringing them up. But BH we have much nachas.

Recently we really needed guests for various reasons and everyone was either away (well it was bein hazmanim) or someone was ill. BH at the last minute of my darling sons in law told his wife he will do all the packing, which she wasn't up to. (Her not feeling well was not contagious evidently).

I share this only because as you probably have heard (& it's either a medrash or in Rishon or something, not just what they say) one Mama can take care of ten children but ten children can't take care of one Mama. Sometimes.

amother

Violet

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 12:07 pm

I'm a mother of 3 who in theory would like 8, but realisitically will never have the koach for it and will probably have to stop at 4, maybe 5 if I'm lucky. I'm still trying to psych myself up to go for number 4, but I'm not there yet. You're definitely a superhero if you can manage a large family!

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 12:14 pm

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Yes and this also applies to people with smaller families but where the kids are more spaced out.

Sometimes. Smaller spaced out families don’t need as much help usually.