In quarantine and out of ideas: a vent

DVOM

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 4:42 am

A vent:

Our holiday guest brought Covid with them. Thankfully he's feeling well, but we're now all in quarantine for the next bit.

This is not what I'd planned. I don't want my boys home for the next two weeks (and realistically, how long will Lakewood schools stay open? Chances are we're done with school for a while now). I will not do remote learning (see previous rant post). I can't dredge up the energy this morning to care what my kids learn. I'm not a teacher. I have a job. And I'm a mom. And I'm a housekeeper and a cook. I don't also want to be an educational coordinator.

I don't want my guests, who were supposed to be here for one night, to stay here for the next two weeks, quarantining with us. I want to be able to walk around in my pajamas, I want to sing on the top of my lungs, I want to feed my boys pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I don't want to take other peoples food needs into account, I don't want to feed more people for weeks on our shoestring budget, I don't want to be 'on,' in hostess mode, for the next two weeks or more.

I just want someone else to take over. I don't want to be the mommy. I want someone else to plan the day, shop, plan the meals, cook them, clean up after them, entertain and police the kids. I want someone else to do laundry and put it away. I want someone else to make polite small talk. I want someone else to be rational, sane, calm, measured, adult. I want to stay in bed today, all day. I want to be grouchy and irrational, self-centered and lazy, and have some loving person say it's ok.

I'm trying to focus on gratitude. There's a whole lot to be grateful for.

My guests are lovely, helpful, kind. They're attentive to my kids, who are relishing their attention. I can work from home, and I love my work. I have a lovely home, indoor and outdoor space to make this quarantine pleasant and relaxed. My husband is wonderful. My kids are too. Above all, we're all healthy, we're all well.

We can make this work. I'll find my optimism and enthusiasm and positivity soon. Just not now. Now I want to grump.

Odelyah

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 5:58 am

wow I'm sorry-- just want to mention though, that maybe your guests don't have to stay with you the whole time? They need to isolate, but it doesn't have to be in your house unless they really have nowhere else to go. They are allowed to drive to another quarantine location if they can do that without contact with others. Also, if they had symptoms we were told quarantine is 10 days min from the start of symptoms, not 2 weeks. As long as by 7 days they are better, and the last 3 days are without symptoms. When did they get sick?

How are you and your family feeling? Especially if you are not feeling well yourself, it would be overwhelming to be in hostess mode on top of everything else that's on you! But either way, b'ezras Hashem it will be over soon. You will get through it! Sending lots of hugs!! Hug

elisheva25

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 6:03 am

Why do your guests have to quarantine with you ?
I would totally send them home .
Ignore the school part for this week.
Do bare minimum .
Next week you can maybe ask at least ask one of your older kids to independent log in / call in to some of their school things. One session a day.
They should be able to do that with minimal supervision
No ?
Take care of yourself !
Ignore all else Smile

)

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 6:11 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

If the guests stay, and are not completely isolated, your quarantine continues on until the last covid-positive one gets better, minimum 10 days from when that last one has symptoms or tests positive. If they are helpful, I don't see how they are isolated.

Do they have to stay?

A lot of drs aren’t saying this. My neighbor was told by a few local reliable drs differently. (That ppl typically catch it during the first 3 days of exposure)

mommish613

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 6:17 am

DVOM,

This was us a few weeks ago (minus the guests, please send them home!)

At first I was stressed and resentful. But something happened after a few days, almost like what happened when schools shut before Purim. An aura of calm washed over my home- we woke up late, went to sleep whenever, cooked and baked and made lots of online orders. We relished in the peace and calm and serenity in my house. I was able to just be without stressing about going out and doing errands and accomplishing tasks (I also work from home). Some kids did remote learning, some couldn’t. Both were okay.

Ultimately we all got sick (most of us anyway) and I am grateful that we are mostly back on track. This time also taught me to once again appreciate the small things in life- the blessing of being free to going out and getting fresh air, taking care of my family, and just doing my best (nothing more!). It was something I forgot after the first wave and glad for the gift of new perspective once again

DVOM

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 6:56 am

The guests cannot go home.

Their home is a (long) plane ride away.

Don't ask how they got here. It's a very long story, with a lot of frustrating parts to it. Suffice it to say that we did not invite them and had very little warning regarding their coming.

They are with us for the duration.

Regarding quarantine, we were told that we should consider ourselves one household, that we need to quarantine for 14 days from first symptoms. So far only two people are having (thankfully mild) symptoms.

It's going to be a long two (or more) weeks.

DVOM

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 6:57 am

mommish613 wrote:

This was such a helpful post, Mommyish. It hope I get there. I trust that I will. Today though, I'm really struggling.

elisheva25

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 6:57 am

DVOM wrote:

Odelyah

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 7:04 am

DVOM wrote:

so maybe there is another family of tzadikim, ideally with antibodies, with an empty guest area in their house who would like to share this huge mitzva? or an empty house or apartment available? maybe your local bikur cholim could help you.

sorry I know you just came on for venting and support but I keep thinking there may be a solution

amother

Slategray

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 7:10 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

A lot of drs aren’t saying this. My neighbor was told by a few local reliable drs differently. (That ppl typically catch it during the first 3 days of exposure)

My doctor and my sils doctor said what amother taupe said. If they are not 100% isolated and they live in your house you have no idea when the date of exposure is as they can infect you anytime from when they are contagious . Plus it can take 5 days for symptoms to appear (speaking from experience)

mommish613

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 7:41 am

DVOM wrote:

This was such a helpful post, Mommyish. It hope I get there. I trust that I will. Today though, I'm really struggling.

I did not have the added stress of having OOT guests- that is super hard! Keep in mind that they are free to go back into society once it is 10 days from the onset of symptoms, so long as they are fever free for the last 24-72 hours (whatever your doctor says). I hope you can politely ask them to leave then!

amother

Mustard

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 9:44 am

DVOM wrote:

I really can’t understand anyone who’s been hosting guests

LittleDucky

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 11:11 am

what can you do to make things easier? can you do food orders? Can they be responsible for paying for their costs? For some stores, orders are more expensive than in person shopping (added fees, minimums, not being able to make substitutions etc). If they can't, ask whoever sent them to you to help out. Call a local bikur cholim and see if they can help. I don't recall where you live but are there any organizations related to why they are with you that can help?
Does anyone have an empty guesthouse/apartment they can rent for 2 weeks and then they are responsible for their own food etc?
Can they seclude in a portion of the home so they don't keep exposing your family? Will they wear masks when outside their room?

And depending on your kids ages, buy some new toys, books etc. slowly dole them out, at least it is Amazon prime day sometime this week so at least things may be cheaper for you... Maybe order a few 1000 piece puzzles, lol. Can you call someone to run to a dollar store or amazing savings etc to get crafts, coloring books, or other activities?