Which area in israel is like cedarhurst NY

amother

Apricot

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 3:09 pm

vonigzan wrote:

what type of sheitel is accepted in hte BY communities>
At work I wear a tichel but shabbos /otherwise I wear a sheitel, its over the shoulder, hits right above the breast.. I really appreicate your help

My neighbors send to Bnos Malka - it's BY style, lots of Anglo kids, the mothers all have elegant, long sheitels.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Oct 12 2020, 3:44 pm

Op, we are staying in America bec from the research we’ve done, it Simply doesn’t exist in Israel. And we are scared of screwing up our kids. We live in Monsey, but similar in terms of being machshiv yeshivish values but not actually believing in or following yeshivish rules. Chareidim would NEVER accept us.

DrMom

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 2:22 am

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

I hear over and over that this hashkafa doesn't exist in Israel, yet there seem to be hundreds of people with this hashkafa who want to make aliyah.

Seems like with some sort of en masse aliyah, you could establish your own yishuvim.

Raisin

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 5:58 am

I have a friend like that (actually from Cederhurst) who wears a sheital or tichel and her husband wears jeans and they live in Ranaana. (I think they consider themselves DL) Another sheital wearing jeans wearing family live in Beit Shemesh.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:14 am

Raisin wrote:

Raanana is not for American Yeshivish Anglos.

LovesHashem

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:33 am

If you wear jeans you cannot be yeshivush or chairiedi here. A woman can wear a Jean skirt in more modern chareidi places but men cannot wear jeans.

If you husband wants to continue wearing jeans you need to change to be Dati Leumi

DrMom

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:34 am

LovesHashem wrote:

This is so dumb I can't even

ETA: I am not calling you, LovesHashem, dumb. I meant the rule is arbitrary and silly.

Last edited by DrMom on Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:58 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Bronze

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:37 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Not everyone has to fit a tidy box.
Heaven knows I have no idea which box I fit into, and I doubt anyone else does either.

That said, you do need to find schools for your kids. That's the only caveat. Other than that, you can wear what you want and anyone normal will still befriend you.

Success10

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:56 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

No one here thinks these "rules" are based on any halacha or anything of value. It's just a Chareidi nuance, and, yes, it's mostly about schools. The Chareidim in my area are friendly to all. And if your home exemplifies Torah values, then they'll let their kids play with yours, in your house. They'll even eat the cookies you bake for shaloch manos. It's really just about these schools.

We didn't make these rules, but we think it's important that potential olim know them in advance.

salt

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 7:19 am

DrMom wrote:

This is so dumb I can't even

ETA: I am not calling you, LovesHashem, dumb. I meant the rule is arbitrary and silly.

Why?
In every society you 'need' to do certain things in order to fit in. What she's saying is that you will simple not fit in if you want to be considered charedi and you wear jeans. You won't be thrown out of a shul, or spat on, or whatever you might think of, but it's just not done. You'll be too different.

There are plenty of (not charedi) yishuvim that have acceptance criteria - no TV, cover your hair, etc, I know of chiloni moshavim that require you to have a academic degree in order to live there. If you really want to join these communities, you change, if not, you go elsewhere.

I know of high-schools where if you don't learn to drive when you turn 17 then your peers will look at you and think - either you're poor, or something's wrong - you have ADD or I don't know.
Or if your parents don't let you get a smartphone when you're 12 years old, you'll; simply be out of the loop and be a drop out.

It's not dumb. It's how society works. Societies make 'rules'.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 7:29 am

While I understand the question and good you know what you are looking for it can be an issue to make aliyah looking for something that doesn't exist elsewhere -- not apples to apples. You want to set up for success and educated expectations.
I would make a realistic research into what exists and see what fits your criteria and priorities best.
hatzlocha!

imasoftov

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 7:38 am

salt wrote:

יתמו חטאים מן הארץ and I don't care if it happens according to the pshat or the drash

DrMom

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 8:06 am

salt wrote:

You won't be thrown out if shul, etc., but your kids can't attend school. That's not so trivial. And it's completely arbitrary. Denim isn't shatnez.

Your other examples are not equivalent. A school where kids drive or else are ostracized? In Israel? How many places are like this? Must be a very rich area. It's not like a non-driver has to change hashkafa to fit in in Israel or he can't find a school to attend.

And sure, specific, very homogeneous yishuvim may have quirky selection criteria, but it's not as if people who don't meet every single one of those criteria have no place where they will fit in in Israel, to the point where they are discouraged from making aliyah.

amother

Violet

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 8:17 am

Every society has its "rules" of course, its own quirks and etiquette. In some areas its downright rude to pass someone by and not say Shabbat Shalom, in other areas if a woman passes a man and says shabbat shalom its considered inappropriate...I feel like letting this discussion dissolve into a whole rant about how ridiculous or not ridiculous charedi "rules" are is NOT why the OP posted. She isn't trying to stir up a discussion, she's asking about schooling for her children in a land she isn't familiar with. There is literally no point in giving her anything but the cold hard facts.
Yes, society is far more black and white here.
No, it doesnt sound like OP is looking for DL community.
Yes RBS is the closest fit.
I recommend OP makes a pilot trip as soon as the skies open for non residents, goes into the schools and into the community and meets other parents. Obviously that is the only truly proper way of doing things and the only real way to truly get a feel for what we have to offer over here.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Oct 13 2020, 8:21 am

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

Agree completely.
OP, do you know anyone who lives in RBS at all?
Can you join the RBS Facebook group? Contact the Nefesh Bnefesh rep for RBS? (Listed on their website)
You need to speak to people who send their kids to schools like
Magen Avot
Netzach
Bnos Malka
Darchei Noam
and get a feel for the student and parent body.
Good luck!