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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
How does your child's school with behavioral issues?



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 6:40 am
Hi everyone, I live OOT and my child is struggling in school. He is in young elementary and is super bright with very borderline ASD (Asperger's). Not eligible for any help through the school district and has some mild behavioral issues. We are really struggling with school and he is sitting at home every day until we figure something out. I'm curious how other "in-town" schools deal with such a child. What supports do they offer? What is your school's discipline policy for very young children?
Thanks!
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 8:36 am
Some people hire a therapist/ behaviorist privately to work with the child and the school or go through an agency to get ABA and other services.
Many schools will just have the an intern/unlicensed guidance counselorr pull them out of class to give teacher a break. Sometimes the school counselor sees them and actually tries to help but some are better at behavior issues than others.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 9:25 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hi everyone, I live OOT and my child is struggling in school. He is in young elementary and is super bright with very borderline ASD (Asperger's). Not eligible for any help through the school district and has some mild behavioral issues. We are really struggling with school and he is sitting at home every day until we figure something out. I'm curious how other "in-town" schools deal with such a child. What supports do they offer? What is your school's discipline policy for very young children?
Thanks!


My 4.5 yr old DS has borderline ASD too.
He receives 9 hours of SEIT in the classroom a week, 2x ST and 2x OT.
We have seen amazing progress B”H.
Live in the Brooklyn.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 9:47 am
ABA through insurance to help him manage in school with focus on decreasing dependency on ABA provider in school and transfer responsibilities to school staff. ABA at home during this time, and afterwards, is helpful too
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 10:07 am
If he can't get an educational diagnosis, though, through the multi factored eval leading to an IEP, I wonder if he'd be able to get a medical diagnosis in order to be able to get ABA? I suspect he doesn't yet have a diagnosis because you mentioned Aspergers but that he's very young--- they stopped giving that diagnosis years ago. He very well might have a form of autism but they won't diagnose it as Aspergers now.

I'd fight the district via an IEE after a failed MFE (no IEP). Suddenly I'm in the mood for vegetable soup. For the IEE, make sure he is at his "best" for the testing. Smile Tired, hungry, annoyed, whatever you have to do. You are not obligated to medicate him or give him a hot gourmet meal the mornings of testing sessions. Borderline cases are so tough because you NEED the services but have to figure out how to GET!
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 2:09 pm
TwinsMommy wrote:
If he can't get an educational diagnosis, though, through the multi factored eval leading to an IEP, I wonder if he'd be able to get a medical diagnosis in order to be able to get ABA? I suspect he doesn't yet have a diagnosis because you mentioned Aspergers but that he's very young--- they stopped giving that diagnosis years ago. He very well might have a form of autism but they won't diagnose it as Aspergers now.

I'd fight the district via an IEE after a failed MFE (no IEP). Suddenly I'm in the mood for vegetable soup. For the IEE, make sure he is at his "best" for the testing. Smile Tired, hungry, annoyed, whatever you have to do. You are not obligated to medicate him or give him a hot gourmet meal the mornings of testing sessions. Borderline cases are so tough because you NEED the services but have to figure out how to GET!

No, he does have a diagnosis (confirmed twice as barely meeting the cutoff). I just wrote Aspergers so you can get a frame of reference. We fought the school district, but in any case we are in a terrible district and they don't provide much for their severe students either. Our therapist feels ABA is too restrictive for him and I also feels like it gives him a social stigma. I'm just curious how other schools help these kids, or do they just refuse to offer any interventions? How do schools address behavior in general? We are OOT so not many school options.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 2:13 pm
In NYC I think people usually manage to fight and get services. Those who don't win, pay privately for a shadow or aid in the classroom. Or in town there are often schools specifically for these issues.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 2:54 pm
I was in the same situation a number of years ago. Because my child was so bright (genius level) I was denied services. He was in a Yeshiva at that time that gave zero support (and in fact exacerbated the problem). and made our lives a living hell. I switched schools and got our lives back. The school I switched him too worked with us. When he would begin to get overwhelmed they sent him to the office or to the school psychologist to let him calm down. It made a world of difference. He is now graduating from college (with honors) and applying to graduate school. It was challenging, but things did get progressively better. Don't be discouraged.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 3:04 pm
I have a child in a large midwestern yeshiva that actually offers a lot of resources. He has pretty severe ADHD, some ASD traits and is gifted. He did great in Nursery decent in pre1a and horrible in 1st grade. For second grade we took him out of full day yeshiva and did a partnership program with a theraputic school that is operated by our local JCFS and has two classes of all frum boys. He spend part of each day in both school. Its was super hard on all of us but I think that and really finetuning the ADHD meds really helped him. Hes in 4th grade in yeshiva a full day and really doing well bli ayin hara.

I was very angry with the yeshiva for what felt to me like kicking him out. It was also done in the least tactful way ever which did not help. But at the end of the school year I could see how much he grew being in a class of 7 boys with two teachers. The social coaching and redirection that such a small class gives is not possible with a class of 20 boys one rebbe and no assistant teacher. It just isnt.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 3:18 pm
My kids school (boys yeshiva and girls bais yaakov) has moved over the years to a more collaborative problem solving style of discipline. They try to work with kids to get to the root of the behavior. The whole girls school has been trained in Collaborative Problem Solving, they offered a parenting group to mothers last year. I think the boys yeshiva is moving in that direction also but on a slower pace.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 11:22 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
I was in the same situation a number of years ago. Because my child was so bright (genius level) I was denied services. He was in a Yeshiva at that time that gave zero support (and in fact exacerbated the problem). and made our lives a living hell. I switched schools and got our lives back. The school I switched him too worked with us. When he would begin to get overwhelmed they sent him to the office or to the school psychologist to let him calm down. It made a world of difference. He is now graduating from college (with honors) and applying to graduate school. It was challenging, but things did get progressively better. Don't be discouraged.

Thanks for this post. Yes, my son is very very bright as well and they said they can't educate him. I don't see how throwing him out helps though .. This post gives me hope. I feel like these school issues are taking over my life Sad
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2020, 11:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for this post. Yes, my son is very very bright as well and they said they can't educate him. I don't see how throwing him out helps though .. This post gives me hope. I feel like these school issues are taking over my life Sad

OP this could be my son. Extremely gifted and high IQ and borderline ASD. He had therapy twice a week and I worked individually with him since I am in the mental health field, I did a few hours of mommy ABA therapy as we played each day. I spoke to the teachers about his quirks and hoped for understanding, but really, advocate for him, also show his IQ scores so they know he is smart and capable and they don't underestimate him.
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