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S/o what was the worst meal you received?
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 7:05 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Why do you go to your mother then?


Mostly geographic considerations. Was supposed to stay home this time but then COVID changed that... technical. It’s definitely a challenge.

Iyh in the future I hope to stay home. Even if I don’t get meals it’ll probably still be easier.

My mother is bh the nicest person, she just doesn’t take care of herself so doesn’t know how to do it for others.
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Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 7:19 am
Not crazy about this thread, but would like to mention that when I had PP meals, the organizer asked if I had any preferences. I asked for two things: 1) no nuts (allergies) and 2) for food to be ready to eat when dropped off. Everyone was pretty good about it. So if you are like me and don't want to have to deal with heating something up after it's delivered, just request that. If they don't follow up on it, that's on them, but you can't expect people to have the same preferences as you. Other people might be fine with getting cold food.

I mean the same thing applies to many of the "problem" meals listed here. If your family prefers milchigs, just express that to people. If you don't eat corn, tell them so you don't have to hide a huge tray from your kids and toss it out in secret after (oy).
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 8:20 am
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for my moms who cooked me supper postpartum (we had moved a month before I gave birth, with RH, Sukkot and Y"K in between, so I barely had time to unpack my freezer never mind fill it with meals before giving birth)

one thing I felt terrible about though - someone gave me a whole pan of yummy hot corn on the cob, which my kids LOVE but my rabbi told me is 1000% not permitted to eat because of bug issues.... I thanked the mom profusely and hid the corn in the laundry room and stuffed towels over it to hide the heavenly smell in a panic before all the kids could see and start sobbing (this was NOT the time for a teaching moment!) and only threw it out after they had all gone to sleep. I felt so bad the mom had spent all the time buying/cooking/transporting food I had to throw out. But I felt so good she had done it!!!


I am shocked. Just plain horrified!

At least you should have asked a shayle, because bedi eved is not the same as lekhatchila, and ktanim might not have the same din as mevugarim.... and there is the whole question of baal tashchit...

So perhaps this was sent to you min hashammayim so that you little ones should have a special treat when their sibling is born... and you just threw it out?

What are your children learning about your notion of kashrut? That it is as bad to eat corn on the cob as eating chazir? So if they dare eat corn on the cob, they might just as well go on with shrimps, cheeseburgers and chazir, it's all the same?
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 8:38 am
amother [ Salmon ] wrote:
First of all I want to say I really appreciate every single person who sent meals. I wrote thank you cards to every single one. Even if we didn't eat the food or it did not work for us, its the thought that counts. We got some amazing and generous dinners and I am super impressed with the effort people put in.

Since this thread is about funny mishaps:

1: Someone brought us 5 meatballs and a single cup of cooked rice for a family of 5. (My toddler ate that and I cooked dinner for the rest of us)

2: Someone else brought us a pan of plain noodles, a bag of chips, and a box of mints. (My kids ate the chips and we threw everything else out)

3: Someone brought us a salad and nothing else. (I made everyone dinner and enjoyed the salad immensely for lunch the next day)

4: Another person signed up to make manicotti, soup, garlic knots, and a salad. I think they forgot and 2 hours late they brought a box of pizza. (FYI my kids were THRILLED. Pizza is their favorite and they don't like manicotti.)

5: Someone brought cold cuts and rolls. (It was fine but not a homecooked meal)

I think this is clearly a great example of a misunderstanding on either your part or the part of the sender. Clearly, #1 thought she was sending just for you. #2 - why on earth would you throw away plain noodles? It's a blank canvas for whatever you want to make or even put pasta sauce or margarine and garlic salt and done. #3 most likely thought she was just sending a component - maybe the person who was supposed to bring the main forgot. #4 - I've been there also, where the thing I planned on making did not come out for some reason and pizza it was, yes, late. I let them know it was late and felt horrible. #5 - what on earth is wrong with cold cuts? Who says these meals have to be home-made? Why is it on your list of funny mishaps? For who ever is reading this and sends cold cuts because they want to send something but can not cook to save their lives - cold cuts are perfection.

Meal trains have always been such a heated and loaded topic on imamother and every few months a new thread and spin offs gets started. I see it from both sides. I see how this thread is in bad taste. I also see how someone reading this would be hurt to see what they sent posted here as a bad meal... and I also see how this could be a learning opportunity for someone on either side.

For my last baby, I did not want meals sent for various reasons, mainly because although I had been living in that particular city for 3ish years by the time I had a baby, I really had very few friends due to my role in the community although I knew everyone (also because of that role). I did not want to be a chesed case and also, my kids are very picky eaters in general and don't like others food. A close friend really really wanted to set up a meal train for me and it was a massive fail. She had no one volunteering (as I expected) so she actually approached her own friends and got them to contribute - and she told this to me for some reason, furthering my rationale for not wanting to get the meals! Fine. The first few meals were unremarkable in either direction but came so late my husband made dinner anyway. My work place sent a massive shabbos meal which was amazing. Then a lady sent, very late, a few pieces of chicken all of a different sort and a few pieces of different types of kugels. All were frozen. It was clear she forgot and pulled whatever left overs she had from her freezer and sent it. Still nice and fine but not helpful for that night. I really did not want to continue this meal train so I told my friend to end it. She asked how I liked the meal the night before (the frozen left overs) and I told her it was fine. She pushed, wanting details. I told her what it was. My friend was shocked. This is a very close friend of hers who is known for making the most amazing meals for post birth meal trains. Again, why she told this to me, I have no idea, but it further validated my desire to not get meals from this community (we moved about a year later BH). I really and truly felt like a nebach and I just did not need it.

The key to all chesed is to know our limits. When I see a meal train posted in my community whatsapp, I look to see if its something I can do. When I see it is more than a few adults (ie more than the mom and dad of the newborn), I do not sign up. If there are too many restrictions, I do not sign up. If the meal has to be delivered, warm, by a time I can not make work, I do not sign up. I know my limits so I can do this with out resentment. There is this one family who always has a meal train going for various reasons; the mom does not feel well, they are in financial need that week, they are stressed out that week, you name it, they get a meal train, and the meal train specifies that they need gluten free, dairy free, no fish, dark meat chicken or red meat only. This is not a family I can cook for.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 8:42 am
I appreciated every meal we received postpartum, even if some were not entirely to all of our tastes or overdone or repetitive.

The only one I really questioned was the person who sent us pizza on purpose (as in planned on doing so from the beginning rather than forgetting it was her night and sending it in a panic). Again, I appreciated not having to think about dinner, but we could have ordered the pizza ourselves. It's the home cooked meals that are harder to make and much more appreciated to get.

This was after an HG pregnancy in which I couldn't go near hot food for 9 months because the very smell made me sick. So, no, I couldn't prepare meals to just take out of the freezer for my family because I couldn't even step foot in the kitchen. And yes, DH could have cooked for us, but he had just spent 9 months taking care of all of us and was exhausted playing both Ema and Abba roles all the time. So a little pampering right after the baby was extremely helpful for all of us.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 8:47 am
tongue
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 8:50 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I appreciated every meal we received postpartum, even if some were not entirely to all of our tastes or overdone or repetitive.

The only one I really questioned was the person who sent us pizza on purpose (as in planned on doing so from the beginning rather than forgetting it was her night and sending it in a panic). Again, I appreciated not having to think about dinner, but we could have ordered the pizza ourselves. It's the home cooked meals that are harder to make and much more appreciated to get.

This was after an HG pregnancy in which I couldn't go near hot food for 9 months because the very smell made me sick. So, no, I couldn't prepare meals to just take out of the freezer for my family because I couldn't even step foot in the kitchen. And yes, DH could have cooked for us, but he had just spent 9 months taking care of all of us and was exhausted playing both Ema and Abba roles all the time. So a little pampering right after the baby was extremely helpful for all of us.

Again, I really do not think the requirement is for the food to be home cooked. If it is, I missed that memo. The point is to send food so you do not have to worry about making dinner that night. Period. She sent so you don't have to think about dinner that night. Yes, you could have gotten pizza yourself. But isn't it nice to have to shell out $18 for one pie at a time when you can use that same $18 for so many other things? $18 buys a big pack of diapers!

There are those who do not have cooking ability and are fine to cook for their own kids but are embarrassed to cook for others. Maybe someone sent this women pizza and it was so appreciated by her kids, she made a point to send it to others, thinking they would like it as much as she did. Maybe a million things. If those people are reading this, please know, most people are thrilled to get food that is not home made. Deli, pizza, even the plain pan of pasta that one person considered a mishap - most of us love that just as much as the meals posted in the other thread (the what do you send thread with the soups, main, sides, desserts, etc).
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amother




Ginger
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 9:07 am
Frumme wrote:
Not crazy about this thread, but would like to mention that when I had PP meals, the organizer asked if I had any preferences. I asked for two things: 1) no nuts (allergies) and 2) for food to be ready to eat when dropped off. Everyone was pretty good about it. So if you are like me and don't want to have to deal with heating something up after it's delivered, just request that. If they don't follow up on it, that's on them, but you can't expect people to have the same preferences as you. Other people might be fine with getting cold food.

I mean the same thing applies to many of the "problem" meals listed here. If your family prefers milchigs, just express that to people. If you don't eat corn, tell them so you don't have to hide a huge tray from your kids and toss it out in secret after (oy).


The second preference actually makes it very hard for people. Why is it so hard to warm up?
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 9:23 am
I never took meal trains. By my last baby I made supper every night and maybe also had stuff in the freezer.

My sister insisted that she is sending food for shabbos. I had in the freezer that I just kept for the next wk.
I felt so so touched and her food was so delicious!

btw, If someone would send us pizza or store bought food I would also really appreciate it.
It means they thought abt me & spent money on me.
They have a busy life too!
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amother




Mustard
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 9:23 am
If I would send pizza pies to families, I would think they would be happy to have a pizza party sponsored by me. It’s probably one meal that just about all kids enjoy and eat nicely.
I would definitely appreciate receiving it too. It’s much easier to have someone buy and deliver than for me to look up the phone number and probably try a few stores till I find one that delivers... then look for my credit card.. as you can see from reading this thread, not all home cooked meals are appreciated anyway.
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bigsis144




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 10:25 am
I appreciated every meal I got post partum, even the ones that weren’t great or to our taste, and am sooo grateful that meal trains exist.

I never saw them as an obligation, a required reciprocal deal, or a time to show off. It was a nice way for me to get to know people in my community that I may have just had a face and name for before.

And to all y’all “I don’t need help from nobody” types — good for you, yay, if this is what works for you and your family, yasher koach. But don’t turn it into a criticism of people who accept help. Yes, “accept” - you don’t have to be desperately in “need” to accept help that is freely offered! This is what makes us a community instead of independent strangers.
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flower2




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 10:51 am
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Five late to bring over supper? In what world would five be late? I don't know anyone who feeds their kids supper before six at the very earliest.


I feed my young kids closer to 5 than 6....
And if someone sends pizza it's usually the only night I don't need to worry about my pickier eaters
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 11:51 am
These complaints just show a lack of understanding about how someone went out of their way to do you a favor.

First, food coming after 6. Most people work. If no working people did meals, you probably wouldn't get any.

Second, to complain about hot pizza not being a homecooked meal is the definition of entitled. Maybe she was working late and wanted you to get fresh hot food in a timely manner. So instead of delivering food to be heated up from the night before or having you wait till she got off work and could cook and deliver food, she spent extra money by getting it delivered in a timely mannered.

The lack of gratitude and appreciation is so disappointing. Not suprising, though, as I said I have come across it IRL and that's why I dislike meal trains and won't participate anymore.

The saddest part is that people actually think these are valid complaints!!
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:12 pm
I think (hope) that people aren’t complaining here, rather sharing their funny stories about meal trains. Just like you can sometimes get an odd gift that you can’t use. That doesn’t make you appreciate the thought or the giver any less.

Last edited by ExtraCredit on Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:15 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
I am shocked. Just plain horrified!

At least you should have asked a shayle, because bedi eved is not the same as lekhatchila, and ktanim might not have the same din as mevugarim.... and there is the whole question of baal tashchit...

So perhaps this was sent to you min hashammayim so that you little ones should have a special treat when their sibling is born... and you just threw it out?

What are your children learning about your notion of kashrut? That it is as bad to eat corn on the cob as eating chazir? So if they dare eat corn on the cob, they might just as well go on with shrimps, cheeseburgers and chazir, it's all the same?

She did mention that her rabbi said it was 1000% not permitted. I’m not sure if bugs are in the same category as shrimp but if her rabbi told her that then she can’t use it. Perhaps she could’ve fed a dog with it instead of dumping.
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kenz




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:16 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I appreciated every meal we received postpartum, even if some were not entirely to all of our tastes or overdone or repetitive.

The only one I really questioned was the person who sent us pizza on purpose (as in planned on doing so from the beginning rather than forgetting it was her night and sending it in a panic). Again, I appreciated not having to think about dinner, but we could have ordered the pizza ourselves. It's the home cooked meals that are harder to make and much more appreciated to get.

This was after an HG pregnancy in which I couldn't go near hot food for 9 months because the very smell made me sick. So, no, I couldn't prepare meals to just take out of the freezer for my family because I couldn't even step foot in the kitchen. And yes, DH could have cooked for us, but he had just spent 9 months taking care of all of us and was exhausted playing both Ema and Abba roles all the time. So a little pampering right after the baby was extremely helpful for all of us.


In my house fresh hot pizza delivered would be welcomed any time in place of someone else's (likely reheated) chicken and potatoes... And if we don't have to pay for it? All the better!
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kenz




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:21 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
I am shocked. Just plain horrified!

At least you should have asked a shayle, because bedi eved is not the same as lekhatchila, and ktanim might not have the same din as mevugarim.... and there is the whole question of baal tashchit...

So perhaps this was sent to you min hashammayim so that you little ones should have a special treat when their sibling is born... and you just threw it out?

What are your children learning about your notion of kashrut? That it is as bad to eat corn on the cob as eating chazir? So if they dare eat corn on the cob, they might just as well go on with shrimps, cheeseburgers and chazir, it's all the same?


Everyone does what is right for them, but I as well learned that corn on the cob should not be eaten and yes, eating tola'im is a very big deal. No need to feel so outraged.
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Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:24 pm
Fresh hot pizza is a treat in our house. As long as enough is ordered, my family is happy (except the child with celiac...)
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:28 pm
A gift is a gift
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Wed, Oct 14 2020, 12:30 pm
amother [ Ginger ] wrote:
The second preference actually makes it very hard for people. Why is it so hard to warm up?


Not everyone has a microwave.
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