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Those who need 8 hours of sleep a night- newborn??
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 10:08 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
It was the most difficult part other than labor.

Here is what I recommend in hindsight ( I am way past this age& stage in life.

1. First 1- 2 weeks get someone else to handle nights so you recover faster from the actual birth.

2. Split nights with dh. For example; You sleep first shift, him second shift or similar dependent on your habits etc. Or hire someone.

3. Sleep train. Once they are 3-6 months maximum.

Once you get to 6 hours straight every single night it will be much more manageable, tired but less zombie like. The tiredness will be much less. It seriously was the hardest part of having a baby.


How could someone else handle nights if you’re breastfeeding? I’m pregnant with my first so I don’t have any experience with this...I would love for my husband to be able to help but I plan on breastfeeding so I don’t get how he could
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 10:17 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
I've co-slept for over 10 years. I have never so much as found myself sleeping on a baby's arm.

But everyone needs to know themselves - some people have more in-sleep awareness than others.


It’s not only about rolling onto the baby, a pillow or a blanket are heavy enough to smother a newborn. If you have any bedding other than a fitted sheet it’s dangerous.
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amother




White
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 10:24 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
How could someone else handle nights if you’re breastfeeding? I’m pregnant with my first so I don’t have any experience with this...I would love for my husband to be able to help but I plan on breastfeeding so I don’t get how he could


I pumped during the day ( get the best pump available so it isnt a huge deal) so can bottle feed one feeding at night. It took a few kids until I figured all this out by trial & error. I am someone who does not function without sleep so it kept the best balance in our lives.
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amother




Copper
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 11:00 am
tichellady wrote:
I was a disaster. But pregnant was actually harder for me because I really couldn’t sleep from discomfort. I want a big family but not sure it’s possible for me

Same. If I can have all my kids by 1 year old I’d have 15 kids. The first year is disastrous can’t do it too often and stay sane.
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 11:04 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
I pumped during the day ( get the best pump available so it isnt a huge deal) so can bottle feed one feeding at night. It took a few kids until I figured all this out by trial & error. I am someone who does not function without sleep so it kept the best balance in our lives.


Which pump did you use?
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 2:27 pm
My psychiatrist insisted I get enough sleep. I got a snoo, bottlefed, went to bed early, and switched off with my husband. BH, all together it worked.
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amother




Maroon
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 2:47 pm
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
If you fall off your bed in the middle of the night, or are drunk or taking medication, co-sleeping is dangerous. If you don't, you have enough body awareness even in your sleep.


I don't move when I co-sleep, but it is not the best sleep at all. I need another hour without the baby to feel more human. so in the morning I would have dh watch the baby etc. I also did a bottle with expressed or formula so I had a chance for some sleep
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 3:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do you manage when you have a newborn. How to stay healthy physically and emotionally when baby wakes up several times a night to eat and you just get a couple of cat naps all night.

Breastsleeping. And waking DH up to put the baby back in bed when I need to sleep for real.

Naps during the day. Going to sleep early.
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 3:24 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
It’s not only about rolling onto the baby, a pillow or a blanket are heavy enough to smother a newborn. If you have any bedding other than a fitted sheet it’s dangerous.

Actually research shows that a healthy parent who has not drunk any alcohol, is not doing drugs, and does not smoke, is safe to sleep with baby in the parent's bed. The benefits of BFing at night, however, do offer baby an advantage and protection. There are risks no matter what you do, so each mother should choose the risks she feels most comfortable with.

For me co-sleeping is not ideal but it's better than risking dropping my baby because I haven't slept and neither has DH.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 3:59 pm
I don't cosleep because the times I tried plunged me into a bad situation mentally. I prefer getting up but no stress when I do sleep. That said newborn is hard and taking turns is the way when possible.
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 4:02 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
How could someone else handle nights if you’re breastfeeding? I’m pregnant with my first so I don’t have any experience with this...I would love for my husband to be able to help but I plan on breastfeeding so I don’t get how he could

For my second, I had the hospital bottle feed her at night and it was the best thing for my sanity. So I continued bottle feeding at night. I think I will do that now with my third iyh.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 5:38 pm
I only survive by napping at whatever time of day I could fit in a nap.
After one kid, I hired a high school girl to take the kids out in the afternoon so I could sleep for an hour and then prepare supper.
With others, my husband watched the baby from 6-8am so I could sleep then (my job started later in the day so it worked for us.)
Now that I have older kids, they're able to watch the baby while I rest in the afternoon.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Thu, Oct 15 2020, 7:32 pm
I need my sleep. I have 4 kids and had crushing ppd with every one of them. After a terrible miss I’m on long term bc and honestly I can’t really imagine going through it again.
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ggdm




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 16 2020, 5:31 am
My husband is in charge of getting the older kid out in the morning. So if the baby decided that 6 AM is the best time for a long nap, I don't have to get up at 7 for the other kid and we sleep blissfully until 9.

One day a week my husband is in charge of the night. I sleep in a different room and he brings the baby to nurse and takes it back 20 min later. Diaper, walking around, cuddling, etc is all on him. He gets 6 nights of real sleep and can manage one with no sleep. I get 8+ hours once with only small interruptions where I nurse half asleep. Which is a huge help!

But here in my country I have 8 weeks maternity leave and my husband also has 2 months parental leave, so we don't have to work at that worst stage with 1-2 hours. Later, I find that 4 hour stretches sleep are ok for me.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Fri, Oct 16 2020, 8:56 am
ggdm wrote:
My husband is in charge of getting the older kid out in the morning. So if the baby decided that 6 AM is the best time for a long nap, I don't have to get up at 7 for the other kid and we sleep blissfully until 9.

One day a week my husband is in charge of the night. I sleep in a different room and he brings the baby to nurse and takes it back 20 min later. Diaper, walking around, cuddling, etc is all on him. He gets 6 nights of real sleep and can manage one with no sleep. I get 8+ hours once with only small interruptions where I nurse half asleep. Which is a huge help!

But here in my country I have 8 weeks maternity leave and my husband also has 2 months parental leave, so we don't have to work at that worst stage with 1-2 hours. Later, I find that 4 hour stretches sleep are ok for me.


Wow 2 months paternal leave?! My husband got zero DAYS, he had to use his sick days (or take unpaid days) for the first 3 days after birth.
No wonder your husband can take a night.

Am I the only one that feels guilty asking dh to take a shift or getting up to the kids in the morning? He feels stretched thin as it is working full time (from home), filling in to keep the house in order and doing laundry when I can't get to it.
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ggdm




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Oct 18 2020, 4:08 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Wow 2 months paternal leave?! My husband got zero DAYS, he had to use his sick days (or take unpaid days) for the first 3 days after birth.

Welcome to "socialist" health care, meaning a civilized social security net. I cannot understand that there is no maternity leave in the US. For fathers I know many countries don't have any thing, but it is so sad!
Maternity leave here (6 weeks before birth and 8 weeks after birth) is nearly paid 100% of the income. Parental leave is 12 months that can be distributed between the parents and is paid partially (depending on your income, if it is low you get a higher percentage, rich people get only a minimum).

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

No wonder your husband can take a night.

He continues to do one night also after he goes back to work, but it may be the weekend.
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Oct 18 2020, 4:55 pm
Wow didn’t realize how lucky I am..My newborns all slept through the night like teenagers
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Sun, Oct 18 2020, 7:00 pm
Read 12 hour sleep by 12 weeks
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