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Forum
-> Miscellaneous
bernice
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 Fri, Oct 16 2020, 12:16 am
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My fathers first yar tziet is this coming Monday and Tuesday a day later is my daughters that I lost 4 years ago. We are going to my fathers kever on Monday w a minyan but since it is Rosh Chodesh my husband says the rav says we are not allowed to go to any other kevorim on Rosh chodesh only of it is the yar tziet. My daughter is in the same cemetery. I told my h6 that its horrible I want to go to daven by her kever. He got all upset and said you dont talk like that.......... I am so emotional since keep on crying just needed to vent. Thanks for listening
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dena613
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Fri, Oct 16 2020, 12:40 am
I am so, so sorry about your losses. 
May their neshamos have an aliyah, and may you find nechama.
These halachos are completely out of my realm, but I wonder if there is flexibility. What if you spoke to the rav and explained your feelings? Would it change anything? I don't know
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essie14
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Fri, Oct 16 2020, 12:46 am
I am so so sorry for your losses. Maybe you can ask the Rav about your very specific situation?
Wishing you long life.
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bernice
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Fri, Oct 16 2020, 12:54 am
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Thank you ! I wish I can but I'm not comfortable w the Rav and my husband would be upset. I will maybe see if I can go back to my daughters kever a few days later .I dont drive hope husband will take me. It just will feel sad when I'm there Monday and shes right there .Thanks for understanding ! Men are so different he says we were just there in the summer......😣
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dena613
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Fri, Oct 16 2020, 12:55 am
| bernice wrote: | | Thank you ! I wish I can but I'm not comfortable w the Rav and my husband would be upset. I will maybe see if I can go back to my daughters kever a few days later .I dont drive hope husband will take me. It just will feel sad when I'm there Monday and shes right there .Thanks for understanding ! Men are so different he says we were just there in the summer......😣 |
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CDL
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Fri, Oct 16 2020, 1:04 am
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You should go as often as you want. Speak to a therapist if you or dh think you go too often.
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